Jump to content

Need help understanding


dutch9150

Recommended Posts

Thanks for reading and giving advice.

 

My wife and I have been together for 12 years and have been married for just over a year. She took a trip to an exotic island with a male friend (I had no concern about him) I am ordinarily a very trusting non jealous person. I encouraged her to go. She met some male friends while she was away and that did not concern me either (she has always had more male friends than female) upon her return she was depressed to come back to snow in Feb. which I understand and I noticed that she was a little different. She started a story in which she had a "love" interest in this locale. She even wrote a little note that said I love _____. Then she wrote a fictitious letter that she says was to get my attention in which she knew I would read. There were some very hurtful things in it. So like a flash I went to very insecure, very jealous mode. She said that she did it to get my attention that she was not feeling special. Her new found friends were calling her on her cell phone frequently and I was feeling as if she was hiding stuff from me. I had also found pictures that she says were innocent but had a romantic look to them in my opinion. So I turned into this super spy, trying to find out all kinds of information. During some heated conversations things were said that shouldn’t have been. She has told me lies she says due to the fact that I was acting so insecure and crazy. She has told me that I am the only one she loves and that she has no other feelings for anyone else other than me. She says that her friendship with the one individual is purely as a friend. Am I wrong for now being jealous? She has told me several times in the past month that I am the only one for her. I want to drop the past hurt and she has vowed that she will never hurt me again. She also wants to go back and visit her one friend (She has never been away by herself alone). I have never been a husband that has limited his wife to what she can or can’t do however; she views my not wanting her to go back as a selfish thing. I know that she did not cheat on me and I don’t know why I can’t get past the issue. I very much want to because I love this woman more than anything in the world. Do women need to do things on their own to have memories of life experiences? I know that my insecurity is about to ruin this relationship in which it almost did yesterday.

 

Help me please!!

Link to post
Share on other sites

You let your wife go to an exotic island with another male? You also allow her to talk to several different men on her cell phone? I wouldn't say you're insecure, but I would say your actions are a bit foolish. You're openly inviting trouble.

 

It seems to me that your wife wants to be single full time and married part time. I don't know what to make of all these pictures, trips, letters, etc., but they all spell trouble to me. I think it's time you two sit down and have a heart-to-heart talk and she needs to decide if she wants to be married to you or not. In my opinion, you're being entirely too tolerant of her "friends."

 

Counseling would greatly helpful here.

Link to post
Share on other sites
×
×
  • Create New...