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No Contact (NC). Guide for the long walk. Consolidated discussion.


Coping Learning to deal with one's emotions and loss.

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Old 6th March 2015, 1:00 PM   #616
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Posted in wrong thread

Last edited by AprilTears; 6th March 2015 at 1:02 PM.. Reason: Posted in wrong thread
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Old 11th March 2015, 5:57 PM   #617
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Help. I know my ex feels so guilty for hurting me so many times in our past relationship. I am so tempted to text him that I loathe him so much for putting me through so much emotionally and physically but never taking time to do simple things like playing the piano for me or going to a cafe that I've always wanted to go to with him.. I did so much for him and got nothing in return..

I really want to do this so he will know how badly he has hurt me but a part of me still has hope that he will come back and that this message may scare him off.. I know i shouldn't have hope..

I am 3 days nc (would have been 1 week but he contacted me 4 days ago and he made me think he wanted to reconcile) and don't want to set myself back but I want him to know so badly..
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Old 19th March 2015, 3:05 AM   #618
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Almost 5 months since the breakup for me. She said she liked another guy. She met him only 2 weeks before that, and was saying that we would get married later 2 months before. I didn't seen that coming.

Fortunately for my mental and physical health I went NC on day 1. She texted me a few times... ****ed me up every time.

And yet I still love her, I just can't block her, it's too difficult.

She sent me a text 2 weeks ago. I think she was drunk, it was 3am. She just asked if I was ok. I was hell of surprised to see that.
Maybe I should have ignored it, but I couldn't.

I just said yes. She texted back the next night, probably drunk again considering the time/grammatical errors. She reproached me not to send news.
I have to admit it pissed me of, after she kissed that guy, and emotionally cheated (and lied) for 2 weeks before she left.

I got kind of mad at her, saying that we wouldn't be friends after what she did, and that she didn't have any right to reproach me that.

I know it was the right thing to do. I'm not texting her again after what she did. Ever.

But I think about her, and I miss her all the time. I wonder if our last conversation means that she's never gonna write back.
Sometimes I hope it is, sometimes I just want her to write again.
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Old 28th March 2015, 5:11 AM   #619
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I actually really needed this. Going through the first breakup when I was the one who got dumped. I'm the one who does the dumping. So the no contact thing is harder for me than it normally is.
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Old 27th April 2015, 5:23 PM   #620
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So doing NC is the best way? It either fully lets them go or either they start to miss and contact you?
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Old 28th April 2015, 5:43 PM   #621
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So doing NC is the best way? It either fully lets them go or either they start to miss and contact you?
It depends what you want from NC. I personally wouldn't use it as a way of getting your ex to miss you - it doesn't always work like that. I went NC on day 1 of being dumped and haven't heard a word since (3 months now) and doubt I ever will again.

What NC has done for me, is given me the chance to really take some time out and evaluate my situation and ask myself some questions - Was the relationship really going to work? Did I really love her? Do I really miss her or just the friendship/companionship? Is this an opportunity for me to do something new with my life/go somewhere new/make new friends?

You'll find NC will clear your head and help you look at things from a more rational, sensible point of view, and not act on impulse.

Hope this has helped
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Old 28th April 2015, 5:49 PM   #622
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It depends what you want from NC. I personally wouldn't use it as a way of getting your ex to miss you - it doesn't always work like that. I went NC on day 1 of being dumped and haven't heard a word since (3 months now) and doubt I ever will again.

What NC has done for me, is given me the chance to really take some time out and evaluate my situation and ask myself some questions - Was the relationship really going to work? Did I really love her? Do I really miss her or just the friendship/companionship? Is this an opportunity for me to do something new with my life/go somewhere new/make new friends?

You'll find NC will clear your head and help you look at things from a more rational, sensible point of view, and not act on impulse.

Hope this has helped
The NC does two things for me. In the past, it has helped me move on and clear my head but at the same time, 6 months after being dumped by another girl she comes back and we start to date again.

I use NC to move on, reflect and learn from the experience as well as giving the other person their own time. If they come back, they come back but I don't force anything. I might say something to them once months go by as a surprise but rather have them hit me up first.

As far as my situation right now, I'm in the process of NC and getting better each day. This girl is the girl I really want a future with but I don't plan to bug her at all. I might drop a txt in a month or 2, something simple. As long as i am improving then it's working great. I'll have a little hope for us but will still keep moving forward.
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Old 28th April 2015, 5:52 PM   #623
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Originally Posted by Calidude6 View Post
As far as my situation right now, I'm in the process of NC and getting better each day. This girl is the girl I really want a future with but I don't plan to bug her at all. I might drop a txt in a month or 2, something simple. As long as i am improving then it's working great. I'll have a little hope for us but will still keep moving forward.
Good man, sounds like you are doing okay Hope all goes well, and whatever happens (she comes back, or she doesn't) you end up happy - that's the most important thing!
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Old 29th April 2015, 1:53 PM   #624
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2.5 years ago, Her best friend, the one that told me I should go on a date with my ex. She gave her number, I pretended to be some creep guy that was stalking her just to break the ice a little and it made her laugh and what not. I think of that and for some odd reason I want to talk to her best friend about that and me and my ex. However, I'm sure that's not a good idea at all talk to a friend's ex even tho they like me..
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Old 19th May 2015, 3:01 PM   #625
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This the first time since Thursday I haven't contacted the ex we dated for two months an actually been friends for about 7 months before that she asked me yesterday could we be still friends I said no I needed space she dumped me she asked the second time and I put my foot down and still said no i needed time to think about it , altho I do miss her a small bit I haven't picked up the phone not once today to text I'm not going to be needy or sound desperate,.I have done enough already and there is only so much I can do and to be honest it seems to be working because I'm actually feeling alot stronger in myself.

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Old 18th June 2015, 4:44 AM   #626
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Day3 of NC today. Texting her would be the easiest thing in the world. Getting the reply i want, not so much. I find it strange that it was easier for me to move on when we did have contact, albeit very little. I will NOT be the one to initiate contact. She can man up and be the one to do that for once. Im expecting a text before the weekend, as we made plans that i would go through and take her out to dinner, sleeping by her in our old house. But 3days of NC so far and i dont think that seeing each other would serve any purpose. So im not holding my breath on that one. If it doesnt pan out, im just gonna make plans with some friends to go out. Not gonna put my life on hold over her.
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Old 10th July 2015, 8:39 AM   #627
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Hey everyone

I would like to say a big thank you to everyone here at LS, it has been a great help to me during and after my LTR breakup. There were times when I would of said or done something silly or out of character, or broke NC, had I not found this place. To those of you having doubts about what to do, remember to think carefully and make no important decisions or take any actions until you have absolutely no doubts and are 100% sure. This will ensure you don't slip up un-necessarily.

I spent many hours reading posts here and see a lot of similarities with my experiences and that of my family and friends. People I know have gone through the same things, we often joked that the planets must be out of alignment or something in the water..

We all speak from experience, of which quite a lot are very very similar, eerily so. It shows that human behaviour and actions are often mirrored, learned or patterned. There is a sixth-sense, so much so that I often saw things coming long before they happened.

LS has helped me make sense of the mess around me. I recommend it to anyone I talk to about problems and issues. Sharing is caring, we can all learn something from each other and help others who are going through troubled times.

One day I will post my 'story' here so that it might help others.

Thanks for being here.

Peace and love to you all
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Old 19th July 2015, 11:19 AM   #628
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Smile Proud of myself

I don't think I've ever handled a breakup better.

A guy who I had been seeing for a while as a LDR recently dumped me over text / Facebook in a very open-ended, terrible way. I posted a thread about it if anyone is curious on the details.

Short story short, I have only contacted him once since our final conversation, one week later, just to check in with him and see how he was doing. I got ignored. Its been three total weeks, and I've not contacted him at all other than that one time. I've not even looked at his social media sites; I have no idea what is going on in his life.

I'm so proud of myself. I have never been able to cut contact like that. It kills me that he hasn't tried to reach out at all after how our last conversation went, but I take so much comfort in the fact that I've really maintained my dignity. I took the breakup well, telling him that I disagreed but that I understood and would respect his feelings, despite the fact that they were rather vague.

I feel like how you handle a breakup in its initial stage is so key to how you'll be able to cope with NC in the long term. Even though he didn't give me closure, I gave myself closure by telling him how I felt. It's comforting to know that the ball in his court, and whether or not he decides to deflate it or do something with it is entirely his decision. I have no more words for him.
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Old 19th July 2015, 6:13 PM   #629
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I saw walking down the sidewalk, I contacted her, exchanged a few texts and but she never responded to my last one.....I am destroyed, the pain is unbearable and incomparable, never felt such pain and anguish in my whole like. The death of family members is tough but it hurts to say, losing her is the worst thing that has ever happened to me. I miss you so so much lovely.
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Old 27th July 2015, 4:21 AM   #630
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Question: a mutual friend posted a bunch of photos of me and my ex and others at a festival from after we broke up but before NC (obviously...) I accepted the tags (only one of us alone together) and therefore allowed them on my timeline (the festival was great, the photos are lovely) but does this actually break NC? I didn't really think about it until afterwards and I've done so well-I don't want to have to reset

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