sunflower11 Posted December 21, 2011 Share Posted December 21, 2011 Maybe its the holiday season creeping up on us..a highly anticipated yet dreaded season for some of us. I had plans of going up north to see him and spending xmas together but we broke up 3 months ago. I am struggling now because i got a job opportunity in china and so i have my one-way ticket to leave in february. Some of you who know my story know i kept breaking NC searching for answers yet he kept ignoring all my calls and te ts. Well now that im leaving im excited yet terrified to put him behind and i almost feel like trying to reach out to him one last time and just gwt some peace of mind before moving half way avross the world. Part of me thinks its pointless and he will ignore me ahain and i dont need the closure and part of me misses him so much and would love to talk to him one last time. i dont want to make another mistake and break NC again..today marks 4 weeks of NC for me and im sooo proud i got to where i am..theres just that little worm. of Doubt stirring inside.. Link to post Share on other sites
smokey bear Posted December 21, 2011 Share Posted December 21, 2011 Im feeling sh*t too, it happens. We'll get over it xx Link to post Share on other sites
Thieves Posted December 21, 2011 Share Posted December 21, 2011 i dont want to make another mistake and break NC again..today marks 4 weeks of NC for me and im sooo proud i got to where i am..theres just that little worm. of Doubt stirring inside.. Sunflower, please don't break NC. You're four weeks NC now, and you don't have much longer 'till you're going to China! Listen, I completely understand the logic of thinking, "Well, I'm going halfway across the world soon, I'll be long by then, and so what would it hurt to try and talk to him one last time?" When, really, I'm starting to think that it could hurt you more than help you get any peace of mind. Could, being the keyword. Why risk it? Do you truly think you'll get a different type of response than just weeks before when you were frequently down about being ignored? It takes people quite a while to really change, and honestly, four weeks doesn't seem that long to have a change of heart from him. Trust me. So, what happens if you break NC and end up not getting the outcome you desire from you reaching out to him? Maybe right now you believe you wouldn't care as much as you did before, which is good thinking on your part, but I wouldn't be so quick to test it yet. Like your signature says, "It will get better." And it is getting better for you. You're four weeks NC, you've received a good job opportunity in China, and you're actually excited for it. Why mess with your progress when you're doing so well, only to possibly keep repeating a pattern you were once stuck in before? Try to leave the wound alone, Sunny, because as tempting as it is to want to check and see if it still 'hurts', it won't heal properly if you keep attempting to poke at it... Link to post Share on other sites
Philosoraptor Posted December 22, 2011 Share Posted December 22, 2011 Just keep at it. You might feel a ton of relief once the holiday has passed. I personally am going to stay at my parents Christmas Eve. I don't really think I will be bothered by waking up on Christmas alone... but why risk anything at this point? Reaching out will not give you peace of mind, just more questions and a step back. Live your life for you, this person doesn't want to be a part of it anymore and it is their loss. Link to post Share on other sites
Author sunflower11 Posted December 22, 2011 Author Share Posted December 22, 2011 I feel as if my heart is a broken compass and it keeps pointing towards him. I also think that if im putting so much time and energy trying to make a decision and feeling afraid i will get hurt again..its probably not the best move on my part. Its just hard to tell your heart NO Link to post Share on other sites
Philosoraptor Posted December 22, 2011 Share Posted December 22, 2011 Pretend your heart is a child. Your logic and brain is the adult here in the situation. When something tough and hurtful happens you would of course protect the child from being hurt. Do the same thing here. "These feeling are for big people little one. I'll take care of this right now and when I get back we will go out for ice cream" or however you would like to treat yourself for getting through this tough time. Take care of your heart right now and let your logic take the challenging things head on. Link to post Share on other sites
IfiKnewThen Posted December 22, 2011 Share Posted December 22, 2011 Pretend your heart is a child. Your logic and brain is the adult here in the situation. When something tough and hurtful happens you would of course protect the child from being hurt. excellent way of thinking in this situation Link to post Share on other sites
Author sunflower11 Posted December 22, 2011 Author Share Posted December 22, 2011 Thank you philosoraptor:) i like your example a lot Link to post Share on other sites
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