Butterfly5525 Posted April 3, 2011 Share Posted April 3, 2011 I'm bawling my eyes out at the moment (haven't cried this hard in a long time) & I could really use some support and/or tough love from you guys. Since my ex & I broke up several months ago, I've gone NC here & there quite a few times to try to move on since he's basically been jerking me around for all this time. (Begging for me back & then when I finally agree deciding he's not "ready" yet). Whenever I've gone NC with him, the very longest I've managed to go before giving in & talking to him again was 14 days. The very longest HE has ever gone without contacting me was only about 3 days. However, the last time I heard from him was March. 25th (sent me two texts) & the last time we spoke on the phone was a few days before that. The first few days I didn't hear from him after the 25th, I didn't really think much of it & was actually a little glad to have a bit of space from him. Normally even when I'm trying to do NC, he'll try to contact me on almost a DAILY basis. However, a couple days ago, I started really missing him & so I texted him. No response. Then I called him. No response. To make a long story short, after several attempts him (yes, I know...not good) to contact him over the past few days, I haven't heard a word from him. He has just been completely ignoring me. I finally gave up last night once it became pretty clear that he for whatever reason doesn't want anything to do with me right now & I didn't try to contact him at all today. I also noticed on the dating site that we're both on that he hasn't logged in in about a week now which just happens to coincide perfectly with how long it's been since he last contacted me. So, I figure it's safe to assume that he's met another girl from that dating site & is all totally enamored with her & is maybe even seeing her exclusively now & that's why he all of a sudden could care less about me. I realize he doesn't "owe" me anything, especially since we're not together anymore. But...it just is really messing with my head that he just completely dissapeared on me with absolutely no explanation or anything. It's just so out of character for him to have gone this long without contacting me. He's dated (supposedly exclusively) two girls since we split up & both times he was with these girls, he still continued to contact me almost every single day. So, it just seems weird that even if he is seeing someone else now, that he would just suddenly completely cut me out of his life. So, that makes it especially hard on me because I just keep thinking "Wow, he must be REALLY totally enamored by this new girl". By the way, he & I were together for a total of 3 years... Link to post Share on other sites
Duckduckgoose Posted April 3, 2011 Share Posted April 3, 2011 I am with you on the crying... sometimes you just gotta let it out. It hurts but they say things will get better. I just cried for about 10 mins, then when my birds started making a rukus it kind of dried me up and I went and washed my face to get that kind of dried tears feeling off. It'd been building up for about a week though... I feel a bit more mellow now. Link to post Share on other sites
angelboots Posted April 3, 2011 Share Posted April 3, 2011 **HUGS** Butterfly you are where I was before I finally had enough, he was always here one day gone the next too and i keep failing at the NC thing also. U need to realise when enough is enough for you and take you power back, My ex also contacted me every couple of days to string me along some more and because i was so into him i would take any crumb he tossed at me and break NC. He isn't showing u any love or respect right now and its time to realise it is over with him. for me the only way i could do it in the end was to block and bar him from everything in my life, any way he could contact me if he wanted to is gone. The first week is hell, but it gets easier, my whole life revolved around him contacting me b4 i went complete NC, 5 months all up of extended bullshat after the actual break up wasted with him tossing me bones. I hate that i let myself allow that to happen. Link to post Share on other sites
Country_Girl Posted April 3, 2011 Share Posted April 3, 2011 My ex strung me along also, but you really need to stick to the NC. That includes no longer looking at his dating profile, unless you are a glutton for punishment. I know why you do it, it isn't for the pain, it's so you have some kind of connection to him. But you need to cut the chord, cancel your account on that site and join a different one. If he is seeing someone else, be glad you aren't in contact with him anymore. After all, that would just help him get over you (you would be fulfilling his emotional needs which means the new girl would only have to meet him half way). NC is hard, but it's the only way you are going to heal. You don't want to be his "Plan B", do you? Step aside, let him see what life is like without you. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Butterfly5525 Posted April 3, 2011 Author Share Posted April 3, 2011 Thank you very much for your input & support everyone. I really appreciate it. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Butterfly5525 Posted April 5, 2011 Author Share Posted April 5, 2011 (edited) Back to feeling really sad today. I hate this roller coaster of emotions. Part of me is really tempted to contact him but then I stop myself by thinking "Why? What exactly is contacting him going to accomplish? He probably will once again just not even answer the phone or text you back & then you'll be feeling even worse then you alreay do". Edited April 5, 2011 by Butterfly5525 Link to post Share on other sites
Duckduckgoose Posted April 5, 2011 Share Posted April 5, 2011 No no don't contact him... there is a place in the coping section somewhere that you can post instead of contacting your ex. Contacting him just gonna open up a box of pain and set you back on the rollercoaster. Post on your thread if you feel like contacting him, take your pet for a walk or drive, something... Link to post Share on other sites
Author Butterfly5525 Posted April 5, 2011 Author Share Posted April 5, 2011 Thanks duckduck, I'm going to try my best to stay strong & not contact him. It just really hurts to think he suddenly cares that little, that he wouldn't even want to say one last goodbye to me. Link to post Share on other sites
Mov Posted April 5, 2011 Share Posted April 5, 2011 Back to feeling really sad today. I hate this roller coaster of emotions. Part of me is really tempted to contact him but then I stop myself by thinking "Why? What exactly is contacting him going to accomplish? He probably will once again just not even answer the phone or text you back & then you'll be feeling even worse then you alreay do". Stay strong Butterfly - i am in the same position as you are. The way i'm trying to look at it is, if you were with your partner and someone was trying to talk to her/him and she didn't want them too then you would be by their side trying to stop this person doing it. You (and me atm) are this person - they told us they don't want to be with us and no matter what we do or say we will not change their mind. Have to let them come to us, and it is sooo tough i know, i have butterlies in my stomach thinking about her, but she knows how to contact me, she knows i am distraught at the split, she knows talking to me would make the pain go away, but she doesn't. At the moment she doesn't care about me or what I'm doing. I have to try to be strong and accept that, as through time i KNOW that i will start feeling the same. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Butterfly5525 Posted April 9, 2011 Author Share Posted April 9, 2011 Thanks for your input Mov. Still haven't heard a word from my ex. Link to post Share on other sites
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