9 weeks of NC today, Ex comes home next month...

[radrluv72]

Yes, 9 weeks of NC, and 12 weeks since my ex dumped me, 2 days before he deployed to Afghanistan. The reason I'm posting though, is that something happened yesterday which got me thinking about the breakup all over again.

 

One of the men who owns the agency I work for happens to be ex-military. Yesterday, before a management class he was conducting got started, he overheard a co-worker of mine ask me how things were looking on the boyfriend front, of which my reply was "there isn't a new one yet". So my boss started a small conversation with me about my current single status and asked me what happened with my ex. I told him that my ex, a First Lieutenant in the Air Force, dumped me 2 days before he deployed to Afghanistan. Without even telling him how it happened, he immeadiately said, "oh, he freaked out on you?"

 

Well, with that response and with feedback that I've gotten since I got dumped, it's finally solidified what my first gut reaction was the night that my ex--from out of NOWHERE--started spilling out a bunch on non-sensical reasons that he suddenly wanted to break up. He freaked out. He'd been burned a couple of times in past because of the fact that he was active military, and not exactly the most confident guy out of his uniform. Why he freaked out, I may never know...lack of trust due to past relationships, being overwhelmed by what he felt, thinking I was too good to be true...but the bottom line is that I honestly do not believe that his breaking up with me was somthing he'd thought long & hard about before he did it. My ex was an incredibly impulsive person, and no matter what the impulse was fueled by, he would act on it. Probably a risky venture to have gotten involved with a person of that nature to begin with, but since he seemed as into me as I was into him, why would I even give it a second thought?

 

My ex has been in Afghanistan for 3 months now, and has one more month left till he comes home. I've made no attempt to contact him, and I've not heard from him, either. I even got to the point where I had stopped re-reading copies of the last e-mail I sent to him (namely the one where I finally ripped into him, told him not to contact me & he promptly de-friended me on Facebook) because I knew all that was doing was feeding my heartbreak. My friends will ask me every now & then if I've heard from him at all & say that the fact that he's overseas shouldn't add in to him contacting me or not. Well, maybe that's a little true, but I'm also fully aware of my ex's responsibilities overseas while being an officer, and how much more demanding things are for him compared to when he was stationed at the air base nearby. So with that, I've not expected, hoped, or anticipated getting an e-mail from him out of the blue, wanting reconciliation.

 

But the fact that he's coming home a month from now is more on my mind than ever. And I'm starting to feel a little tense...almost like holding my breath. I still love him as much as I did when he left me, and I still miss him every day. I've not clung to the hope of a possible reconciliation or thought about how to "get him back", because I'm smart enough to know you can't change the way another person thinks. Yes, of course I want him back. But I'm not the one who flipped out & destroyed something beautiful out of impulse based on whatever was going through my head at the moment, so I'll be damned if I'm going to chase after him.

 

So I guess, finally getting to my point, I'd like to hear back from anyone who's been in a similar type of situation...an ex suddenly freaks out & breaks up out of fear/impulse, clearly not based on logic. I'd like to hear from anyone who may have heard from those exes after the breakup & what happened. In other words, did your ex finally pull their head out of their a** & realize they made a huge mistake? Or even anyone who's been dumped prior to an ex's deployment overseas & what happened when they returned...either one of those situations, I'd like to hear about. I don't know if my situation is particularly unique because of the specific circumstances, because I've also been told that it's also a possibility that my ex did what he did as a reaction to being deployed, even if it was his second time going overseas...I have a feeling that he was burned by an ex on his very first deployment to Iraq.

 

Sorry for this being lengthy.