angelboots Posted March 2, 2011 Share Posted March 2, 2011 (edited) So I know I posted that I wasn't going to give the ex another shot... well surprise surprise the fact I even considered it shows I wanted to.. and in the end I did. Sure enough three weeks in it all goes to ****.. Im trying to be extra careful to make things work... all the while living on bread crumbs... he goes on about how happy he is that I am being so cool with him.. then tonight bang... A D-DAY... I told him i want us to re-add on FB since he is working away and he acts all shady.. saying it will complicate things and he doesnt want that to happen this early on in our "making up" stage... i send a friend request along with this message: ME: figured if we are going to attempt this we might as well bite the bullet on the fbook ****e,,, if we re~add then im going to delete the "jamie and gabii are now friends" thing on my page and if you add u can do the same on yours. also i wont comment or like anything on your page if you do the same for me.. if there is something you want to comment on send me a message.. this is a good test of trust for both of us if we do this. I dont want to fight about fb ****.. whats on our walls during the break up is in the past. but it is a good way to feel connected when we cant talk n ****. idk the ball is in your court. ttys I got texts the next day with him saying he is too busy to get on FB... My stomach tells me this sounds like and excuse but i push the thoughts away and continue to pretend its no big deal to me... Then tonight i was looking at his MSN and see he has posted a new mobile pic of a green tree frog sitting on a fence post looking really cute so i click the link... it takes me some how to hes Facebook picture and i see this: HES EX WIFE So cute 19 February at 05:01 HIM It's sitting right beside me lol 19 February at 05:09 HIM It's sitting right beside me lol 19 February at 05:09 THE EX/W Lucky 19 February at 05:11 HIM Lol thought ud like that pic 19 February at 05:12 HER Yah you think if I kiss it, I'll have a prince? Lol 19 February at 05:18 HIM lol 19 February at 05:19 HER Well………? 19 February at 05:20 HIM lol well u can have whas is next to the frog 19 February at 05:21 HERt Omg shut up. Send the frog 19 February at 05:22 HIM lol 19 February at 05:23 HIM lol package deal lol frog and me lol 19 February 05:25 Of course like both DDAYS time stood still and i doubted what i was reading... so i checked our skype messages and he was talking to us both at the same time.. here is an excerpt of what he was saying to me: [2/19/2011 5:07:38 AM] ME: i love u [2/19/2011 5:07:42 AM] xx ttyl [2/19/2011 5:07:43 AM] HIM: love u 2 [2/19/2011 5:07:53 AM] ME: lol good boy x [2/19/2011 5:07:58 AM] HIM: well its true.. your the only one i want. There is a lot more but its just banter back and forth and him talking about work and some g rated sext flirts from him and back and forth for a while... So now I am back to ground zero.. if not further down then before.. i know the saying, once a cheater always a cheater etc.. but that doesnt help.. I was so desperately in love with the guy i would have sold a kidney if it meant things would be true with him.. Thing that sucks even more... a genuinely nice guy had just come into my life.. and because the ex came back i shut the door to a fresh chance to start again. I do NOT want to date the new guy. I obviously have a long way to go with my healing and am no where near ready to be seeing anyone. Tonight I have cried... written hes poor ex an email and copy and pasted everything i had about what he is doing behind her back too... deleted it with out sending it... cried some more.. sent him a text saying Hey did you know msn links photos with FB these days? nice frog picture by the way.. also nice convo between you and "her-name-here".... your still pathetic.... Then deleted he's number... Tomorrow he will try to be dumb enough to cover hes ass... or avoid the fact i caught him out by saying "I WAS BEING A PSYCHO AND SNOOPING" or with luck i wont hear from him again... Day 1 NC here we go again.. i keep thinking i am going to throw up should i send her the email? i feel sisterly i should.. but idk if it would just be a revenge thing to him.. she has a right to know doesn't she? they have kids together Edited March 2, 2011 by angelboots Link to post Share on other sites
Bluebelle38 Posted March 2, 2011 Share Posted March 2, 2011 Hi angelbootsd, Aaargggghhh! I really feel for you. You gave the guy a second chance despite knowing this could happen and yet again he has messed you around. Am not sure what you mean by send his ex the email? Which email? I have followed a bit of your story and know how much you loved this guy. But the guy you loved is not the real him. You have seen now that the real him is a snivelling little two-faced idiot that needs constant attention from women to feed his ego. You have wasted far too long on this idiot. He has messed with your life which in turn means messing with your daughter. What a total a-hole. Time for you to wipe your hands clean of this pillock FOREVER. You will never be able to trust him. Not only that but every message you send, every email shows you still care at some level (and am not bertating you, hell, we've all done that). Time for you to get so damn angry that you never want to contact him again. he is a total chancer and incapable of the kind of relationship you need and deserve. I am at the point with my ex (even hate writing the word because it links me to him in the past haha) and have a thread up in coping, maybe have a look (called an the healing flows or something like that) ... it gets better, believe me it does. This madness ends when you remove yourself once and all from the playing field. You are great, remember that. Worth a million of that idiot. The day you realise that is the day you are over him for good. xx Link to post Share on other sites
Author angelboots Posted March 2, 2011 Author Share Posted March 2, 2011 (edited) Thank you Bluebelle, I was refering to the fact in my anger i made an email to send hes poor ex showing her everything from Skype to texts to pictures all of it plus an apology from me about how she deserves to know too that he is still up to he's old games... I didnt send it.. its saved in my email.. though i did just send him one hell of an abusive message... im actually going to post it here too... its pretty mean but its things I have always thought.. and never said because i didnt ever want to be "mean" so i hope no one takes any offence, it takes way to much for me to get mad.. but this was enough for me... facebook message from me to him tonight: I cant block you on here it wont let me but I want you to know that now i know the truth... that u ARE STLLL trying to stick your dick and bull**** into BOTH **her name** and me.. its fully over.. friendship n all I felt sorry for you.. you have gotten fat... your hairs fallen out which is y you got it cut of.. your small sad assed dick... you big ****ing ears... your unusally randomly placed body hair... your fat rolls on your hips.. your extended hairy ass crack... fark... I thought maybe you WERE legit coz you seemed too physically ugly to have any REAL chance of being a player.... which is the only reason i did decide to give in and try again.. you made ME think I HAD BEEN THE BITCH? all i did was catch your lies out and realise they were true... yet again.... makes me sick... I fell in love with what was on the inside,,, turns outs its just as ugly as the outside.. I WONT send the HUGE email i have made for Amanda containing every text, FB message, email time stamped with your cock,all the recent VIDS you made, the emails.. skype photos i took of you playing just the other night, our entire skype chat history... yeah this time i kept it all almost as if I KNEW you were STILL lower then a dogs scrotum... I WONT send it if you do me this one ****ing favour: Block me from contacting you here since when i try to block you it says i cant AND you stay RIGHT THE **** AWAY FROM ME for the rest of your miserable life... Things with **her name** wont work.. She is too good for you too, just like me... in fact anyone worth a damn will see you EXACTLY for who you are... Karma **hes name**... Im serious. I will send this stuff off if you so much as message a reply.. n excuse... to me... to ANYONE I KNOW... ANYTHING. DO YOUR BEST TO PLAY DEAD TO ME... I will only warn you once.. ONE WORD TO ME OR ANYONE I KNOW.. and i will send it all straight through. You make me sick I have deleted hes numbers, reblocked him on MSN and Skype.. i dont even want to hear the excuses anymore from him.. i want him as dead to me as I can make him.. sorry assed son of a... grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr Aagin I am sorry if i offend anyone with my anger I am just so freaking mad right now Edited March 2, 2011 by angelboots Link to post Share on other sites
Rose T Posted March 2, 2011 Share Posted March 2, 2011 Angel I'm so sorry for what you're going through. Can I say something? This is all a huge lesson and help for the people that read these boards, especially me at the moment as I am wavering over my cheating ex. I'm reading your story, really feeling for you, and am proud you got angry. Hope it helps you move on. Hope this thread helps a lot of us move as well. Chin up. You will get through this. Link to post Share on other sites
Author angelboots Posted March 2, 2011 Author Share Posted March 2, 2011 Thank you Rose... my advice to you would be DONT DO IT.. but as you can see I am some what biased right now.. I am starting to truly see i always wanted to be the exception to the rule... but the fact is to odds are a person wont be... I am mad at myself that I got mad.. I have always been the door mat.. "yes sir. no sir thank you sir" not any more... that message will spin him out lol I have never just been MAD like that lol Tomorrow is a new day... gosh I hope he doesn't contact.. and i hope his ego is some what depleted by my message lol I cant help but wonder how many more girls like me and hes ex he is playing though... he was having a LOT of work dinners where he is working right now... we are in the same industry and I truly doubt thats were he was... I just hope she catches him out too... who ever she is. Link to post Share on other sites
Bluebelle38 Posted March 2, 2011 Share Posted March 2, 2011 Bravo angelboots... and don't feel bad about getting mad.. it is all part of the process. I too sent a text that made it clear how I felt and I have not looked back, nor will I EVER because these a-holes don't change. Their egos won't allow it. i hope to God you don't hear from him again. These chancers come in all shapes and sizes. Mine was 8 years older, losing his hair and had a limp developing from an old football injury (more like arthritis kicking in, mate ) Have a good scrream if you want to, whatever gets you through. Just know that your life will start to improve now you have made peace with yourself. You have given yourself the greateest gift of love you can - to protect you and your heart. Well done. Link to post Share on other sites
Author angelboots Posted March 2, 2011 Author Share Posted March 2, 2011 Lol "football injury" hahahaha... riiiight.. I do feel like a big heavy door has swung shut on him now.. and in part I do hope this message does make it so he doesnt ever have he nerve to try.. because as much as i dont wont to send the email.. i will just to show him I CAN and WILL NO LONGER just sit back and play dumb.. I am bloody intelligent, strong, popular with friends AND RANDOM people .. Just tonight I got hit on 4 times on the way home from town lol I know I am half way pretty, I am bubbly and musically talented, I am a fantastic youth worker with an impeccable working reputation.. I am a great mum, I am still young and i know I wont be alone forever but if I am so be it anyway lol i would rather be alone then tied to a cheater... I know I am going to have ups and downs while I finish healing but I wont date until I know I am completely whole myself as a person and if i even see one read flag I am going to run away sooo fast lol enough is enough. I just hope this time its easier to heal as i have been through this all before with him and now there is no doubt in my mind who he really is.. if i ever do have doubts i can just look back at my posts in here and know I did everything I could... it truly wasnt me lol it was ALL him. Link to post Share on other sites
marqueemoon4 Posted March 2, 2011 Share Posted March 2, 2011 (edited) sigh... this clown got a second chance and blew it already?? pains me to see this, sorry he hurt you again. i'd give so much to have a second chance with my ex and I PROMISE you I wouldn't mess it up this time. kick this guy to the curb once and for all, he's playing with your emotions. He wanted to see if you'd roll over and give him another chance, probably to see if he still had any control over you. Edited March 2, 2011 by marqueemoon4 Link to post Share on other sites
Author angelboots Posted March 2, 2011 Author Share Posted March 2, 2011 hi MM4, I think it was partly the power kick, partly the fact that this guy is so completely full of his own self worth he really does see him self as something special.. I mean this guy has to be the most Fake person I have ever known... He projects himself as this amazingly kind person.. yet he is a heartless as they come. He always played the victim when he talked about he's ex's.. but now i KNOW that he just plays the same games over and over and over again... Even now when I read the messages between his ex wife and I, I realise she is just like me... only difference is she had the misfortune of having children with him... He always painted her to be a cold hearted bitch.. but its him.. its who he is.. He told me he was diagnosed BPD but one of the older men I work with said he was my exs case worker back in our teens and remembers my ex well... he told me my ex wasn't BPD he is diagnosed borderline psychotic/borderline narcissistic. and he went so far as to ask if i was "well clear of him" When I asked my ex he said he was misdiagnosed in his teens.. which of course.. I believed but now I am not so sure... All I DO know right now for sure is I have been damaged by this relationship and I dont want to be.. So I wont.. Off for some therapy I think lol then hopefully in time i heal and can just get on with "it" what ever "it" is meant to be lol Link to post Share on other sites
Bluebelle38 Posted March 2, 2011 Share Posted March 2, 2011 I hear you angelboots... I too am considered to be attractive, professional, outgoing, sociable, great laugh blah blah. It's all well and good writing it down. It's another thing BELEIVING it.... when you do these losers wouldnt get a look in. They'd be kicked to the curb the first time they messed up and they wouldnt even be given the opportunity for a second chance. I'm raising the bar because I know what I deserve You'll be fine... sending my text that spelt out clearly how disgusted I was is what turned things around for me. Am sure he was gobsmacked that I no longer was prepared to accept his utter BS - and you have shown neither are you. You will look back on this twerp in years and cringe at what you could have sacrificed your life for Link to post Share on other sites
Steadfast Posted March 2, 2011 Share Posted March 2, 2011 (edited) Some cheaters do change, but it's so very rare. My dad cheated and my mother never really got over it. I mean, she loved him and was glad they stayed together (four kids) but the scars from betrayal remain with us. As impressive as my dad's actions were, hers were even more so. In the end (he even mentioned it to me on his deathbed. Tell me infidelity isn't powerful!) he was so happy she took him back. Unless someone says "I'm sorry. I love you, I want to be with you and I'm willing to do anything to make it work" then you have nothing. No request is too demanding, no question too probing. You must grow tired of asking before they grow tired of answering. The heartfelt statement comes first, but without action they are hollow words, and true love isn't hollow. Time is the test. Everyone and everything will be revealed. There is so much to accomplish in life and it's so much sweeter when you can accomplish them with someone you truly love, respect and can count on. Let's face it; life isn't easy these days. The economy is tragic and just surviving can be a challenge. Adding this into the equation is simply out of the question. Let him go. Edited March 2, 2011 by Steadfast Link to post Share on other sites
tisthelife Posted March 2, 2011 Share Posted March 2, 2011 Honey, don't take this the wrong way - but it's time to put your big girl pants on and move on with life. You went looking for something and found it. I always tell people that if they're looking to find something wrong in a SO [significant other] then they're more than likely going to find it. Typing up an email and not sending it, believe it or not, is for the best. A lot of times it just helps to get how you feel out of your head and onto paper and/or typing it out on a computer screen to make things that much easier to deal with and eventually...get over. I hope this makes sense. Move on. Go forward. No man/woman is worth the time or effort if all they plan to do is scheme behind someone else's back. The thing that gets me, is that he KNOWS you're on his FB page and still posts these things publicly. It's almost as if he wanted you to see them, for whatever reason he has in doing this... Link to post Share on other sites
Author angelboots Posted March 2, 2011 Author Share Posted March 2, 2011 So he replied... dumbass... hes reply was "wtf ur wrong its not what it seems" Link to post Share on other sites
EmperorR Posted March 2, 2011 Share Posted March 2, 2011 The more you talk to him the worse your going to feel, the best thing to do is go no contact wait 48 hrs and block him on Facebook, don't look back. The best thing you can do to a ex is say or do nothing Link to post Share on other sites
Rose T Posted March 2, 2011 Share Posted March 2, 2011 Some cheaters do change, but it's so very rare. My dad cheated and my mother never really got over it. I mean, she loved him and was glad they stayed together (four kids) but the scars from betrayal remain with us. As impressive as my dad's actions were, hers were even more so. In the end (he even mentioned it to me on his deathbed. Tell me infidelity isn't powerful!) he was so happy she took him back. Unless someone says "I'm sorry. I love you, I want to be with you and I'm willing to do anything to make it work" then you have nothing. No request is too demanding, no question too probing. You must grow tired of asking before they grow tired of answering. The heartfelt statement comes first, but without action they are hollow words, and true love isn't hollow. Time is the test. Everyone and everything will be revealed. There is so much to accomplish in life and it's so much sweeter when you can accomplish them with someone you truly love, respect and can count on. Let's face it; life isn't easy these days. The economy is tragic and just surviving can be a challenge. Adding this into the equation is simply out of the question. Let him go. That's a really beautiful post, Steadfast. Thanks for sharing that story about your parents. You also make an excellent case for waiting for and indeed actively seeking the right person to share your life with. I hope every broken heart on these boards will learn from their experiences and grow in the right direction. Link to post Share on other sites
Bluebelle38 Posted March 2, 2011 Share Posted March 2, 2011 'Package job, frog and me' Says it all to me. I hope you don't fall for that b*llsh/t. Link to post Share on other sites
K.K. Posted March 3, 2011 Share Posted March 3, 2011 Oh man I had a feeling he reeled you back in! What a dick he is!! I swear you and me seem like we're living the same life almost. These guys are completely NUTS and they've made us question our own sanity cause we see what we see and know what we know but they either act like we didn't see what we saw or that WE are the psychos cause we see it and say it out loud! WTF. He says "wtf it's not like it seems" yea right, it's EXACTLY what it seems. WEIRDNESS. He's sitting there online typing to you telling you you're the only one for him and you're like why would he say that if he didn't mean it (right?) but then he's typing to another girl how it's a package deal and flirting his ass off and WFT indeed. Then he's gonna turn it around like you say and say you were snooping! There is nothing we can do to with reason with these people and that's the part that kills us the most, I think. God you must've been SO pissed to say all that to him! LOL He deserved it but you gotta tell me how does it feel cause I've been thinking about doing that. Calling him every name in the book! I mean, really... for the past 3 weeks I'd say... I've been walking around in a blind rage! It must be a stage of grieving or something but it's horrible! All my friends and coworkers hate me ! I'll tell ya more about that on another thread but... girl... ugh.. I know this is gotta hurt like absolute hell. I think I can almost feel it in my guts exactly how you feel right now cause I've felt it. Ugh... i'm so sorry. At least you told him what you thought of his crazy ass. NOW at least you can have that anger... you know... that feeling where you KNOW you never want to see their face again.. I don't know about sending the email to the girl. He deserves it! But... hmm.. I'm just not sure. I think you should sleep on it. That's how I've been getting through. Every time he sends a voicemail or something, I think about all the things I could say back and everytime.. I just KNOW he will turn it around on me and so... I don't. I'm still telling myself that I'm gonna voicemail him back and get it off my chest but... Angelboots.... just sleep on it. It'll stop hurting a little bit at a time. He doesn't deserve you and you had a second chance to find out. You're not the fool, stupid, psycho or any of that. He's just a cruel person. And nuts. Or at the very least... low class. (((angelboots))) keep it together. you can do it. I know you can. Link to post Share on other sites
Author angelboots Posted March 3, 2011 Author Share Posted March 3, 2011 (edited) 'Package job, frog and me' Says it all to me... That just had me pitying the poor frog by comparison it would have to be thinking "omg kill me now" Hi k.k.. yeah three weeks of being in the washing machine but lesson learnt this time.. I was at work and got 4 abusive texts one after the other and my phone was ringing of the hook... He is caught out BIG time and knows it.. he cant handle the loss of power but you know what,,, this time I dont care what he thinks.. He would be feeling absolutely shattered about the attack on his personal appearance... Then he messaged me and said I am nothing but a liar and a cheater and said I'm done with urs ur full of **** n I can't delete u ATM I am on my iPhone will at the apartments enjoy ur miserable reciting life Ohhhhh ok... what is reciting??? I am the cheater??? I AM THE LIAR??!!?? ummmmmm... riiiiight ok??? Like i said he is blocked every where now so hopefully i never hear a word from him again.. I am maintaining NC and this time I couldn't be happier lol Of course I am still so mad.. but i also know now it was never "me" it was always "him".. he's a douche lol Edited March 3, 2011 by angelboots Link to post Share on other sites
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