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learning from the relationship


Vickstar

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Im a late bloomer and my first relationship of a year fell apart about 4 months ago (he dumped me)

I believe me being new to relationships, not knowing how to handle things etc etc could of been the reason of the break up, i just wish he understood that i've never been in one before and he could of given me a second chance.

i suppose the good thing about the break up is that ive become a more stronger, confident person and lost a lot of weight.

What i would like to know is (in preperation for the next relationship) do men not like girls who are doormats? because i worshipped the ground he walked on and let him do whatever he wanted (im very laid back)

do men prefer a strong sprited woman who can stand for herself?

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You need to be an independent person. Neediness is ALWAYS a turnoff. Guy or girl. I often feel the same way you do about my ex. It was my first but not hers. It's good to give your partner freedom but you need boundaries as well. If not, they lose respect and it's only a matter of time before they find someone else.

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I had to start educating myself on men: how they are, what they need, etc. They have some similiarities, but they are still different from one another. Some are more mature than others, for example.

 

It's ongoing, but here are some books that helped me. Maybe they'll help you, too:

 

1. Ten Stupid Things Women do to mess up Their Lives by Dr. Laura

2. Why men love B.I.T.C.H es and Why men Marry B.I.T.C.H es--both by Sherry Argov

 

(B.I.T.C.H stands for a Babe In Total Control of Herself.) :p

 

It wasn't enough to understand myself, my needs, my wants etc. I had to understand men, too if I was ever going to engage in any kind of relationship with one: friendship, business relations, romantic partner, etc.

 

Keep doing you--that's what matter.

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