snokin Posted February 22, 2011 Share Posted February 22, 2011 Just in need of writing and expressing my thoughts where they won't actually be read by the one(s) I need to write about... Dear A#2 I absolutely hold our friendship near and dear. I can't say that I even understand our relationship. I'm not sure why I became so attracted to you. When I first met you I didn't even really imagine being friends with you, let alone the bonding we have achieved. And I have no clue how or when I fell in love with you. There is an energy between us. It was so unexpected and I spent months unsure of how to read it. Not that on any day presently can I understand it fully. You too are completely aware of this energy. And many days I sense that you too are unsure of what it means and what to do with it. I do know that I don't want to do anything to jeopardize our friendship. Luckily so far you continue to accept me for who I am - LOL And I you. It troubles me that your marriage weighs so heavily on you. But if not for that I know that our relationship wouldn't be what it is. I am so happy to be here for you. While I love you (and you know I do even though the words are not spoken) I have no desire for either of our marriages to end because of us. As I am sure this is also your intent. I guess maybe that is part of my confusion (is it confusion?)...I love you more than a friend but I have no desire to be your significant other. I have never been here before. I must say that the current state of our situation is comforting and fulfilling while at the same time titillating and exciting. It has that anticipatory excitement of something new even though we're a couple of years in to it. Love, D xoxoxo Dear A#1 I love you. I have loved you from the beginning of our relationship and no matter what will never stop loving you until my last breath. You continue to tell me that you love me but the last several years have me perplexed. While our time together has not been storybook perfect it has been good and we have always been able to accept each other completely and communicate without hesitation. We have achieved many things and through the good and bad we have always had each other. Now these past few years you have withdrawn. Withdrawn from me, from our relationship, even your life. I have always supported you, accept you and love you unconditionally. I have been here for you. It seems to me that you have done what you could to push me away; or I guess more appropriately doing what you could to not be involved. You know where I am vulnerable and intentionally (consciously or unconsciously) gnawed on these spots. Maybe unconditional love was wrong. You have known from the start that A#2 and I are friends. Hell, you two are even somewhat friends. And you know, in addition to acknowledging, that I have progressed to a friendship with her that is...in your own words, emotionally intimate. You even hold no ill towards this (remember I take you at face value with what you say to me) as you have told me. You aren't giving me that and you know that you weren't and you know that I had to fill that need. You are now working very hard to turn around most every part of your life. And it shows. And I am so looking forward to having my best friend, my wife, and a lover back. Love, D xoxoxo Link to post Share on other sites
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