Contact once I move out. Immediate NC?

[bslchump]

So my plans for moving out have been going wonderfully. Our things have been separated and there are just a couple of details im waiting on. I am wondering about what to do the day I leave.

 

I know that when I leave she'll want me to text her when I get home (almost 24 hours of driving) to let her know I got there safely. I'm kind of conflicted about this. I've thought of scenarios where I text her I got home safely and then I initiate NC, where I tell her before I leave that I will not be texting her, and where I just don't do it. I'm seeing problems with all of them. Namely, if I do text her it gives her piece of mind and FORCES me to "check in" with her when she left me for someone else (**** that). If I tell her I'm not going to do it, that seems to diminish the whole "just disappearing" aspect of NC that I'd like to do. I don't want to say to her "3...2...1...aaaand ok I'm not going to be speaking to you anymore". When I'm gone, I want to feel it fully. If I simply don't text her once I get home, she might bombard me with texts/calls and maybe even call my family to make sure I didn't get into an accident or something.

 

So what is the best option here? I can't be her friend and make her feel all warm and fuzzy that I'm ok, but I don't really want to deal with a blow up if she thinks I didn't make it home.

[is2008]

She left you for someone else. She doesn't genuinely care for your feelings mate, she's just easing her own guilt. If I were you, I'd not tell her you are initiating NC, just leave... drive and never text again.

 

What does it matter if she knows you got home safely? Let her call your family, let them tell her you got home safely and be done with it that way!

[bslchump]

Yeah, I suppose you're right. There's just something that feels...off about not telling her I got there alright. It's probably natural to feel that way though and I have to ignore it.

 

I just know at some point she's going to text me something about the dog or something I left behind by accident and do I want it sent up? or "hey where is the X?" or something. When I don't respond I'm NOT looking forward to the consequences. She'll probably blow up my phone with real or fake concerns that I'm ok.

 

Ugh, I just know there's going to be SOMETHING I'll have to answer to. It's going to make me feel like the NC isn't working or worth it.

[fiat500]

i agree with is2008. you don't need to check in with her. if she specifically asks you before you leave, a simple "hey i'm home. take care." text will do. if she doesn't tell you to check in, which i don't think she will since she's been so considerate then you can just disappear.

 

any other text she'll send you will be an excuse for her to keep contact. ignore it.

 

if she texts you, take comfort in the fact that it would show she probably misses you.

[Chi townD]

Yeah, and I'm sure that there's something "off" with her leaving you for another guy. I say walk out the door and close that chapter of your life. You walk out the door and you walk into NC. you owe her nothing. If she starts texting and calling you ignore it.She made the choice to have you out of her life and that should be EXACTLY what she gets. If she calls family members to see if you made it. Then Fine, they can tell her you made it safely and enough said. Done....wash your hands of her.

[bslchump]

You all make excellent points. Sometimes it's hard seeing things clearly when you're in the middle of it.

 

I won't text her or contact her, period. If she calls my family to find things out, so be it.