LK30 Posted February 12, 2011 Share Posted February 12, 2011 Oh dear. I split with my ex gf just over a year ago (I was the dumper) but have never really come to terms with it as finishing it was a mistake because I now realise how much I had feelings for her. It's Valentine's Day Monday in UK and I sent her a card. It was a plain white card with a small red heart on front (and even a white envelope!) saying inside: 'Still missing you, although we're apart...there'll always be a place for you inside of my heart.' I didn't sign it and there was nothing on front like 'be my Valentine' or 'you're sexy,' just a plain and simple card. Perhaps it was a mistake, but you know what? I feel like I just needed to show some appreciation as she was part of my life for almost 2 years. I'm not asking for her back at all and I honestly (and I mean honestly) don't expect or want a response. I didn't sign it. She'll know who it's from. Perhaps it's my way of letting go at this time when singletons like me are all alone and feeling unloved Link to post Share on other sites
stopthemadness Posted February 12, 2011 Share Posted February 12, 2011 wow,that was brave of you(maybe) depends on how she responds right? Is she in a new relationhip? But i dont know, a year is a while to be broke up though. Good luck,,let us know how that goes. Link to post Share on other sites
Duckduckgoose Posted February 12, 2011 Share Posted February 12, 2011 Well you did what you did broski. It does empower some of the dumpees when they read that you regret dumping her cause only now do you know what you lost. You sent her the card, and she can choose to respond if she wants. She might, she might not. Word of warning... if she's got a new man and he finds out about that card it could start some **** between them. Link to post Share on other sites
Author LK30 Posted February 12, 2011 Author Share Posted February 12, 2011 In answer to one of your responses (thank you for those), I was conscious the ex may have had a boyfriend when I sent the card. However, I noticed when I joined a dating site in November that she had a profile too and when I go on the searches I sometimes notice she has 'online this week' besides her name, and that was up until this week. Her being single wasn't my motivation, but it did give me some assurance that sending a card wouldn't cause a possible row between her and a potential boyfriend as if I wouldn't have sent the card if I thought she might be in a relationship. The card should arrive Monday. I won't get a response but I genuinely don't want one! I didn't even write my name so I don't think she'll even be sure it's from me. For all I know she may have had a bf since me so she may suspect him. But sometimes something anonymous is a nice touch. Hell I wish I would get someone take an interest in me. I'm ugly compared to my two siblings and Valentine's Day for me is likely to involve hiding under my pillow to avoid hearing about or seeing all those lovey dovey couples!! Link to post Share on other sites
willowthewisp Posted February 12, 2011 Share Posted February 12, 2011 If you miss her and realise it was a mistake dumping her, then don't be a fool and tell her. Just either call her or send a letter be totally honest, tell her you regret it and that you understand if she does not want to know. Link to post Share on other sites
Author LK30 Posted February 13, 2011 Author Share Posted February 13, 2011 It was a year ago so probably missed my 'window of opportunity' lol! She's stubborn and I really don't believe she'd take me back or I would've tried that to be honest. Link to post Share on other sites
fiat500 Posted February 13, 2011 Share Posted February 13, 2011 well i mean, that kind of thing takes balls to do. it's highly unusual for a dumper to regret and let the dumpee know. so you have my respect. Link to post Share on other sites
loveforever Posted February 13, 2011 Share Posted February 13, 2011 It was a year ago so probably missed my 'window of opportunity' lol! She's stubborn and I really don't believe she'd take me back or I would've tried that to be honest. Dude....what do you have to lose ??? If you tell her how you feel about her now what's the worst that can happen "Sorry, LK30, I was really hurt when you dumped me but I've moved on and I'm happy now.".....or she could still have love for you and you might end up back together (best case scenario).... The fact that you've sent her a card proves to me that you are not over her and I would just tell her how you feel.....in the end....this could be the closure you need to move on.... Link to post Share on other sites
Biker2007 Posted February 13, 2011 Share Posted February 13, 2011 LK30, I agree 100% with loveforever...in fact, I was pretty much in your shoes a month ago when I was struggling with the decision to contact my X. We had broke up over a simple misunderstanding that got blown way out of proportion due to insecurities on both sides. It hit me about 9 months after the break that I really had feelings for her and it took me another 5 months before I did anything about it because I thought too much time had passed. In mid Jan, I just could not let it go without at least clearing the air about the misunderstanding and seeing if she was open to talking. The end result was not exactly what I hoped for, but I was able to let her know how I felt about her and that I took ownership for my part of the break up. Thoughts still run through my head about her, but I don't have a regret about not letting her know my true feelings. Link to post Share on other sites
i made a mess Posted February 13, 2011 Share Posted February 13, 2011 I absolutely agree too. I was the dumper in my last relationship and knowing that I put my feelings out there, that I still think of and miss him everyday, sent an email and a letter. I have never heard anything back and at this point don't expect to, but I do however feel that I gave it a shot, how I feel is out there, and it truly has helped me to accept that as my closure. I truly hope you will tell your ex of your feelings and just see what happens from there. Someone once told me at this point, you have nothing left to lose and only everything to gain...I believe in that whole heartedly! Best of luck to you! Link to post Share on other sites
willowthewisp Posted February 13, 2011 Share Posted February 13, 2011 I absolutely agree too. I was the dumper in my last relationship and knowing that I put my feelings out there, that I still think of and miss him everyday, sent an email and a letter. I have never heard anything back and at this point don't expect to, but I do however feel that I gave it a shot, how I feel is out there, and it truly has helped me to accept that as my closure. I truly hope you will tell your ex of your feelings and just see what happens from there. Someone once told me at this point, you have nothing left to lose and only everything to gain...I believe in that whole heartedly! Best of luck to you! I agree, you have nothing to lose except pride and everything to gain, including peace of mind (not wondering for everymore) even if she says no. Link to post Share on other sites
Author LK30 Posted February 22, 2011 Author Share Posted February 22, 2011 (edited) Hey all, Just to update you that the ex (she was the dumpee) never did reply to my card I sent. I didn't expect her to, and don't even know how I would've reacted if she had replied as I am starting to think that once they're an ex they should stay like that. I often see her car parked outside a different house, so for all I know she could've moved and never go it. I really don't know why I sent it as it was never going to get a reaction and probably makes me look weak! As far as my love life goes, if anything can be or go wrong it will! I think I feel a bit gutted on top of that coz I'm going to have to rent a place later this year as my younger bro (who I own a house with) wants to sell the place and commit more to his girlfriend. That means I'll be living alone again and even tho I'm happy for him I had mixed emotions as me and my ex (had I still been with her) would probably have been looking at getting a place together too around now. As a result, at 31 I'm on my own, unsettled and going nowhere whilst I'm slightly jealous my younger bro is settling down with his lovely lady friend. I'm really not sure where I've gone wrong. I'm tempted to up sticks and start afresh somewhere else, but that means leaving my support network behind. Edited February 22, 2011 by LK30 Link to post Share on other sites
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