I still love my ex and don't know how to move on.

[lonelygirl2003]

My husband left me four years ago. We were together for six years, but spent more time apart during the last year than together. I cheated on him the night before he left me and told him about it the next day. I really thought that I didn't love him anymore until he left.

 

I fell apart after he left me, I even tried to kill myself. I could never regret anything more in my life than messing things up with him. I have tried to move on, but with no luck. I still love him with all my heart and soul and think about him every single day, I still cry all the time and I am just not happy.

 

we share a child together which we have joint custody of and I still see my ex all the time. We get along really well as friends, but I don't get any of the love vibes from him any longer. I am so lonely and want very much to be happy, but I can't make myself fall out of love or move on. Can anyone please offer me some helpful advice?

[wiseluv34]

hey, i feel sorry for you, i hope that you believe in God, because i'm spiritual. i think that first, you should ask God for strength to endure, and ask God to make the feelings you have for your ex disappear. sounds like he's moved on from you, so why should you live the rest of your life miserable? ask God, console in him. i've never been married, but i've been in relationships similiar to yours. you should also write down the REASONS, why you and your ex aren't together any more, focus on the relationship that you and your ex walked away from. just believe that it's for the best, and if he's happy, just try to move on....YOU CAN DO IT!!!

have you asked your ex how he's feeling? maybe he's still in-love with you, make your feelings clear to him before you move on, and if he isn't still in-love with you, do the things i requested above. GOD BLESS YOU! (write me back, let me know how it's turning out)

[lonelygirl2003]

Thank you very much for your concern. I do talk to GOD every day and thank him for everyday that he has given me. I wouldn't have made it through the last four years if it wasn't for The Dear Lord and my child.

 

I haven't had the nerve to ask him how that he feels about me, 'cause I'm so afraid that he will reject me, so I just go on hoping that one day he will be mine again to love forever.

 

I hope that one day I will either get over him or win him back. I thank you for your advice and I will try.

[wiseluv34]

i'm glad for you, sounds like you've gotten it pretty much under control. but pls remember, that no man can truly make YOU happy..if you're unhappy just being by yourself..along with your child you mentioned..then you'll never be happy. maybe he will come back, when you've learned to love yourself alone. let him see that you CAN move on, with or without him. also, since you know the lord.., remember that god says in his word...that "all things work out for the good, for those who love the lord", so just rememer that god has something in store for you, even better than you could ever think or imagine..even better than your ex. continue to put all your hope and trust in the lord, and he'll keep you strengthened. god bless

P.S. IF IT'S IN GODS WILL FOR YOU AND YOUR EX TO COME TOGETHER, THAN IT'LL HAPPEN IN TIME. BUT IN THE MEANTIME, START LOVING YOURSELF, AND MOVE ON.

[lonelygirl2003]

I appreciate your advice, I honestly had never heard that verse from the bible, but I enjoyed it greatly. I hadn't thought about loving myself, all i could think about was how much that I loved him and how badly it hurts that I can't be with him.

I will try to learn how to love myself and move on. It if very hard, but with the help of the dear Lord than I will do my best and hopefully achieve wonderful results. Again, I thank you.

[wiseluv34]

god bless you. i've never been married before, but i've been in love with a man, and if we departed for good, then i just remember that he wasn't the lords will for me, and it's for my BEST. AND IT ALWAYS IS FOR MY BEST, AND FOR YOURS TOO! god will never take something good away from us, not for forever anyways.

but, since you love your ex so much, pls just ask god to show you, if you and your ex are to change and come together. that scripture i quoted to you, is in roman ch.8, verse 28. that's my FAVORITE scripture, so when something in my life fail on me, then i always like to dwell in this scripture and just the word itself. ask god to help you to put him first, and love HIM first, and everything else will come into place.

if your ex never return to you, just think on that scripture in roman, and pray that god will make the feelings you have for your ex, disappear..and he will do this for you..and know that god only gives the best, no other thing will do.

maybe your ex caused you misery? if so, then he isn't a gift from god anyways, because what god gives will last and will be right. stay in the word, and be blessed!

[tommyboy]

Lonelygirl- I feel for you as well, mainly as I identify with your feelings at least toward him. I haven't been married or have any kids but I feel in love with a married woman who also I believe was very much in love with me. We were together in a non traditional sense for 4 1/2 years with the last couple months being quite intense. She was very open to me at the beginning and started closing up a bit after we admitted love for each other. She decided to stay in her marriage for reasons I to this day am unsure of, and to spare you a long story, and not sure if I could ever piece together. My point is God is very much part of my life, especially while coping with this, but I am having a hard time as I hear you are too. Unfortunately for me and her, we see each other at work every work day. My heart palpitates and I feel sick to my stomach often. She was "THE ONE" and I knew it. I believe what the other person said to you is true. God will deliver to you the very best if you put your trust in him. At times I fall prey to temptation and it impedes my progress. I just wanted you to know that I am in a similar boat along with you. Hope you the best, and would be interested as well in corresponding if you wanted. =)

[wiseluv34]

hello tommyboy, i'm glad to know that you trust and depend on the lord, he'll see you out of this one. i can relate, also, to being involved with a married MAN. i had an adultery affair, with a married man, whom i thought i loved, i thought he was "the one". but, you know what i found out? only with the lords help, i found out that when we fall into divers tempatations such as adultery and fornication...we are out OF GODS WILL. i read where you told lonelygirl that the married lady you love is "the one", i think you should ask god if this is true. it isn't, because the woman that god have in store for you, will be single and will love the lord. god doesn't put a single man with a married woman, if she was "the one" for you....then she wouldn't be already married, and she wouldn't have continued her relationship with her husband. i think, for your sake...that you should request for a transfer on your job, move as far away from this married lady as you can. adultery is a sin, and god punishes us for doing it. i lost a good job, because of my affair with a married man.

you said you've never married, well god has the right lady for you...and she'll also be single and available, she will not already have taken vows with another man. check yourself, is this true love, or true lust? is the sex all that? because if you truly LOVE this married lady, then you would leave her alone, and let her be with her family that she already has. you should ask god for forgiveness for this sin, and ask god to deliver you from this sin..because satan is at work in your life. pray for wisdom and knowledge, and god will show you that he has nothing to do with sin (such as adultery, fornication, lying, backbiting..,etc). you need to come out of the flesh, and dwell in the spirit. i know, that flesh is weak..but the spirit is willing. god said that if WE LOVE HIM, WE WILL OBEY HIS COMMANDMENTS.

as i told you, i commited this sin, also, and i thought i loved this married man. but, in the end...he continued life with his wife, and he didn't think twice about me. it was only lust! b/c now, after i've paid for my sin..i've repented and moved on with my life. and when i see satan trying to make sin look good to me again, i just ask god to help me resist the evil one...and god ALWAYS helps us to do what's right..and walk in the light.

YOU'RE IN DARKNESS RIGHT NOW, TOMMYBOY.. WITH THIS MARRIED LADY. leave her alone, move away from her...so that satan won't have a chance to kill you. satan kills, steals, and destroys...as long as we walk in darkness with him.

i think i made my point clear, pray and do the RIGHT THING. god bless you.

[Fancy]

Wiseluv34, you sound like a very, very wise lady!

[wiseluv34]

thanks fancy, for that compliment, but i also make mistakes. i just ask god for wisdom and knowledge..b/c we truly need it to make it in this world! stay blessed.