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Physical Intimacy


screwball

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I've been split with my ex for a bit over a year now and while I've had sex with other women, I still think of my ex a LOT that way. It's weird because I don't pine for her or think about her other than when I first wake up or am thinking about sex. I attribute the waking up bit to the fact that when we were together, I would wake up and spoon. And she was just the best girl I've been with for sex.

 

Does anyone else have this problem and how do you get over it?

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Have you taken any significant time away from women to heal from your split and grow your own life?

 

As an example, after you and your ex first split, how long did you go before dating other women with the intent of having sex with them?

 

How long were you and your ex together?

 

I haven't had the thoughts you've described for my exW in a long time, long before we were legally divorced, and I believe two major factors contributed: One, MC, taught me how to accept feelings and process them in a healthy way and, two, remaining celibate and growing healthy and loving friendships focused my emotional energies into other, more productive and satisfying areas. To test this, I've dated a bit and also let myself become emotionally open to a couple of ladies. With no thoughts of my exW, balance has largely returned. Time elapsed - about 18 months. Marriage length - ten years.

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Feelin Frisky

I often think of my ex(s)--either one or the other of the two women I had really LTRs with where we lived together for years and broke all the barriers. One break up was bad so I don't wax on her that often. But I'd be lying if some things she did don't pop up in my head in fantasy now and again. But the other, which was my longest term relationship, still comes to mind frequently. She turned me on then, and thoughts of her turn me on still. Hell, she even tossed my salad completely on her own volition. How do you not consider that a physical intimacy?

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There are certain moments in my past that I will never forget. Part of me hopes to be able to have similar moments in the future, but I know and accept that I won't be able to recreate them with 100% accuracy. And that's okay. :)

 

Every moment is unique and beautiful in its own right. But, in my experience, if you find yourself placing too much emphasis on one moment so that subsequent moments are compared and left wanting, it's time to take a step back because something ain't right.

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