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Not coping well at all today!!!


Coping Learning to deal with one's emotions and loss.

Old 29th July 2010, 2:03 PM   #1
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Unhappy Not coping well at all today!!!

I read a post by This Hurts on here from yesterday about how lonely he felt and how ****ing ****ty it made him feel. Instead of hi-jack his thread, I wanted to start my own. I feel the same way...

I'm not coping well today at all... just out of the blue. I woke up today thinking about her, immediately. It's been getting progressively worse throughout the morning. I keep thinking of her... I miss what we had at one point, but there's no way it can go back to that. I don't even think I want her back. I'm just angry, and hurt. I'm ****ed up still about the whole thing... I want her to hurt... I want her to suffer... but all that **** is pointless.

Like This Hurts, I'm just really ****ing lonely. I feel almost co-dependent... which makes me feel even worse. I feel like I'm doing nothing... like I'm just sitting and rotting like a loser while she's out with her girlfriend having fun and probably talking a lot of **** about me, about how much of a ****-up boyfriend I was.

I'm supposed to go to my Support Group today, but I honestly don't want to. I don't want to do anything but go home and hide. I feel terrible, and I'm unable to cope right now... Out of the blue... I've been dealing with it, been a little over 3 months, I think. But, today, it's ****ing way worse than normal. I feel like my support group is tired of me, or that they're sick of talking to me. I've got no where else to turn right now... I just feel almost desperate. I ****in hate myself these days... I'm still ****ed up, and it doesn't seem to get better... or all the progress I've made seems like its gone now... wtf is wrong with me? Why do I almost feel super depressed? Almost suicidal, even though I know my depression and bull**** is wasted on that girl... It's just hard right now, and I need some help.
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Old 29th July 2010, 2:53 PM   #2
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Thumbs up

You've got us, man, always.

This is the feeling of withdrawal. The toxins are leaving your body. They don't go quietly, but that's what you want. Every moment you feel this way is a moment closer to freedom. Although, paradoxically, you feel the exact opposite, you are moving forward. Your support group knows and expects this from you, and will be happy to hear you share these same thoughts that you've just shared with us. They will see that you are hitting these feelings head on, and owning them instead of letting them own you. Maybe you don't think that, but your post is proof enough.

You've got momentum and you're on the right track. Don't doubt yourself; keep moving forward.
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Old 29th July 2010, 2:54 PM   #3
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Go to your support group. If you do, you will not feel as unproductive as you do now.

You are not doing nothing. You are trying to deal with a really significant and painful loss in your life. Your ex, by switching her sexuality like *that* and bed-hopping has not chosen to work through her stuff.

You are here and talking to your doctor and have joined a support group. Good for you, aeren! You are healing.

I don't know why you feel so depressed but I am sure you will get there, with the answers. The point is: you're asking the questions.

Get up and go or you will feel worse for it.

Don't let me have to tell you off tomorrow for not doing that, okay?!

Thinking of you. Take CARE of yourself.

x
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Old 29th July 2010, 3:49 PM   #4
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Quote:
Originally Posted by aeren944 View Post
I read a post by This Hurts on here from yesterday about how lonely he felt and how ****ing ****ty it made him feel. Instead of hi-jack his thread, I wanted to start my own. I feel the same way...

I'm not coping well today at all... just out of the blue. I woke up today thinking about her, immediately. It's been getting progressively worse throughout the morning. I keep thinking of her... I miss what we had at one point, but there's no way it can go back to that. I don't even think I want her back. I'm just angry, and hurt. I'm ****ed up still about the whole thing... I want her to hurt... I want her to suffer... but all that **** is pointless.

Like This Hurts, I'm just really ****ing lonely. I feel almost co-dependent... which makes me feel even worse. I feel like I'm doing nothing... like I'm just sitting and rotting like a loser while she's out with her girlfriend having fun and probably talking a lot of **** about me, about how much of a ****-up boyfriend I was.

I'm supposed to go to my Support Group today, but I honestly don't want to. I don't want to do anything but go home and hide. I feel terrible, and I'm unable to cope right now... Out of the blue... I've been dealing with it, been a little over 3 months, I think. But, today, it's ****ing way worse than normal. I feel like my support group is tired of me, or that they're sick of talking to me. I've got no where else to turn right now... I just feel almost desperate. I ****in hate myself these days... I'm still ****ed up, and it doesn't seem to get better... or all the progress I've made seems like its gone now... wtf is wrong with me? Why do I almost feel super depressed? Almost suicidal, even though I know my depression and bull**** is wasted on that girl... It's just hard right now, and I need some help.
Seems like a lot of us are in the same rut. Sorry that you are feeling so down. Stop letting her so far into your thoughts. Even if you have to watch some mindless stupid TV about really stupid people, that always makes me feel better. Seriously though, you need to get the control back. You keep letting her monopolize your thoughts and that is what is ****ing you up. If you think about her linger for a sec, and then maybe try to turn it into a not so good memory, one that you are not going to dwell on.

Also, it doesn't matter who she is with and what they are talking about. She is a zero, a non-event in your life now, stop treating her like the star attraction.
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Old 29th July 2010, 6:56 PM   #5
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I'm with you aeren.
I've been getting a hell of a mindf*ck this week from my ex.
Plus, I also started NC today.
She's a totally mess and has made me just as bad of one.
Depression, frustration, powerless... That's what is coming to mind.
However, I haven't shown this to her at all.
At least I have that going for me. Or so I think.
They tell me it gets better, and from past experience I know it does.
It's just that right now is the worst thing in the world.
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Old 29th July 2010, 7:05 PM   #6
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I think this last week has been really f****d up for a lot of people here... dont know why, but me included have been doing fine and then all of a sudden things just seem to fall and go downhilll....

the last 24 hrs have probably been the worst for me since the break up and TBH i dont even see sign of it getting better...

Just when I thought that maybe I had found a foothold to get out of this hole, I come home and find that a couple of things that I had forgotten at her house ( i didnt even know they were there), anyways she gave them to my business partner today to give back to me so he dropped them off home and that seemed to open up the gates that I had just started closing again...

I remember finding little things of her ex before me lying in the house and she never returned those, yet she felt the need to return a pointless piece of kit of mine that (a) I had never used and (b) i probably never will use.. I know this is irrelevant but it just set me back again..
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