sdsdsd Posted July 11, 2010 Share Posted July 11, 2010 Hi I've been obsession over a girl for over a year now. We chat almost everyday in some form and in the past have chatted for hours and hours and hours at a time. However I've finally realised/accepted that she isn't interested in me and will never see me as more than a friend at best (I'm actually worried saying this will even jinx the friendship) I'm gutted about this. Knowing that I am not the one she wants, knowing I will never be with her etc. From her facebook I think she's been seeing a guy for at least a few months anyway. Again, I'm gutted that he gets to be with her. Gutted that she seeks someone else to make her happy. I spend hours thinking about her. Regretting that I'm not the type of man she wants. In the early days when we chatted online (met online) we got on so well and she seemed so keen on me, it seemed so much like we were gonna be together. So I built this up in my head big time. To make things worse I have no social life, no friends etc. I'm really shy in public and have low self confidence. She's pretty much the only contact I have with anyone other than work related. We have chatted so much that almost everything I see, hear, do has a memory of a chat I’ve had with her. I can’t see myself ever meeting anyone else I get along so well with, or who makes me laugh like she does. I just don’t know how to get over her Link to post Share on other sites
rocket182 Posted July 11, 2010 Share Posted July 11, 2010 I really feel for you. I was in this situation a while back. I met this guy and from the first time I saw him I was so smitten and it was all I could think about and I wanted to talk to him constantly. Shortly after, he got a girlfriend. Which was really hard but I kept talking and hoping one day he'd realize how good we'd be together. Him and his GF eventually broke up, and he came to me for advice and such and we talked more than ever. About two months later we hung out and he was really flirty and we kissed and we layed together all night and the next day just cuddling and flirting, and then he pretty much just stopped talking. It's something that's really hard to deal with when you like somebody so much and feel like you'd go well together but they don't see it or reject it. I really don't know what to tell you, because the only way I got over it was to cut off all contact I had with him. I deleted him as a friend off of everything, deleted his phone number, all that. After a few months of NC, I finally moved on and now am able to be friends with him on facebook and such and not have any problem with it. Link to post Share on other sites
DustySaltus Posted July 11, 2010 Share Posted July 11, 2010 You have to be happy with yourself before you can be happy with anyone else. We can't control other people's feelings about us, only our feelings about ourselves. Let me ask you a question. Why do you feel this girl deserves a guy like you? Link to post Share on other sites
GrayClouds Posted July 12, 2010 Share Posted July 12, 2010 You have to be happy with yourself before you can be happy with anyone else. We can't control other people's feelings about us, only our feelings about ourselves. Let me ask you a question. Why do you feel this girl deserves a guy like you? Dusty is right. This obsession has just been a distraction from during the hard work to make a great life of your own. That is the bad news but the good news is the pain is there to tell you it is now time to do so and it will give you the motivation to face it. It time to make a life someone can complement it not make it. Read the link in Dusty signature, do ALL of the recommendations. It will give you the first steps to the better life, . Link to post Share on other sites
LoveTruthChaos Posted July 12, 2010 Share Posted July 12, 2010 Ah, the question is not 'How can I accept that he/she is not the one for him/her?'. The answer is 'He/she is not good enough for ME'. In the case of my ex, we were ABSOLUTELY 'meant to be' for how long we were together, and not a minute longer. He needed me to move on, I needed him to leave me so I can get my life path and dreams started once and for all. He was never going to be a part of my successful future, because I would have never shared it with him. He was only ever meant to be another heartache on my lips. Work out what you love about you, and then you'll realise she was never good enough to deserve you. Best of luck! Link to post Share on other sites
Star Gazer Posted July 12, 2010 Share Posted July 12, 2010 Ah, the question is not 'How can I accept that he/she is not the one for him/her?'. The answer is 'He/she is not good enough for ME'. Bingo, was just going to say the same thing. You're no longer the right person for them, the moment they are no longer the right person for you... and that moment occurs the moment they break up with you. If they don't want you, they're not the right person for you. It's simplistic, but it really makes perfect sense. Link to post Share on other sites
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