Having the hardest time

[mineagain]

I'm pretty new to this site, seeing as how I've read a lot of threads but never actually posted anything. So this would be my first and I think I'm only posting cause I kind of see it as a way of "coping". I was originally going to post this under the "second chances" category but I don't think there's a point to that lol.

 

To make a very long and very complicated story short, I was in a relationship with a guy where we met pretty randomly and purely by chance. He was a little bit older than me and when I met him he had gotten out of a relationship with a girl that didn't "treat him right", to put it in simple terms. I knew right away that it spelled trouble but I let myself go and took a chance with him. Stupid me, I end up falling for him hardcore. In the span of the 5 months I knew him, we started going out, and then he suddenly leaves me 2 months after to run back to his ex-gf. This left me in a mental state lol and I contact him 5 days later saying that I didn't mind if we're friends. To my surprise he says that things aren't going very well with her and that he misses me and yadayadayada. I somehow allow myself to put up with a lot of bull**** for the next month and a half, him basically playing me while still trying to see if he could work it out with her. It somehow resolved itself and he ended up coming back to me, for a good 2 months. In those 2 months he acted so different with me, saying and doing everything that I envisioned what our relationship should have been like. He said the sweetest things and DID the sweetest things. This of course makes me fall for him even more and I couldn't imagine my life without him. However by that time I had so many trust issues with him and he hurt me so badly before that I always had to have my guard up. I constantly needed to be reassured that everything was going good. Being as young as I am and this being my first love, I freaked out twice in 1 month and told him that I couldn't do it. He begged me to give him a real chance and said he was so sorry and he was going to make it up to me. So I did and a month went by without anything and all of a sudden he says he misses his ex(but in a friendly way). I flipped out a little bit and I told I couldn't do it but in my mind, never having the intention of ending it with him. An hour later I called back to try and fix it but he said he couldn't keep doing this with me and me always ending it. A few days later he goes back to his ex again and has me begging him to come back, but he said that things with his ex were different this time and he needed to be with her. He told me that I need to move on and that we can never speak again. So here I am a month and a week later, NC with him since, and still hurting. Secretly deep inside, everyday I look at my phone hoping that it's him phoning me. I'm still so confused as to whether he really loved me, or was it just an act. I miss him like hell and I still love him. It hurts so much to know that he just moved on so quickly and that I think about him everyday but he's just happy with her. Even though I now realize that even if he came back, I could never take him back, it kills me inside to think that we had really good potential for something but he never gave us a real chance. I said I would make it short and look how long it is lol I'm sorry, thank you to anyone who reads this.

[Livelovelearn]

Ill be honest, you were a rebound to him as it sounds. You should have asked more questions about his ex because reading this makes it seem as if it wasnt his ex who had the issues, its him. Funny because i was with my ex for 3 years and the last 4 months of our relationship he ran away from our problems and found another girlfriend behind my back. I found out about this eventually and he left me and her alone. No contact no answers anything. I was sad that he choose her over me in the first place. Most likely reading your situation that fellow that stole your heart, is not a good man period. He probably still loves his ex from when he was chasing you but you became a good distraction. Move on please. Its a long lonely road at times but it does get better. Trust me i am on this journey as well and he hasnt even contacted me, to think we were together for 3 years and he could drop me so easily. And all this push and pull you all are doing, its your egos its not being done out of love. Just face the rejection deal with the pain and in the end you will be the one to have a better relationship and life. You will be happier rather than jumping from relationship to relationship to fill a void. I wish you the best. Good luck and if anything you can message me. Go strong on NC!

[mineagain]

I haven't logged onto this thing since September 6th! I'm not sure of the exact reason why I came back and it certainly wasn't to post anything but I was going through the posts I made and saw this old one and figured I'd give an update. The guy that left me hurting so badly is now back and we've been together for 6 months lol. Funny, I know. With everything I've been through with him and this wild roller coaster we've been on, I hope that we're working towards something. We seem to be going strong . Good luck to everyone out there who's hurting! I promise time heals all and the pain you're feeling at this moment will one day very soon just seem like a bad dream.

[IfiKnewThen]

wow i am glad youre happy. i was thinking his ex probably broke off with him. (the first time)...wondering if that is correct. and he was hurting bad. and you eased the pain..but he wasnt still "over her". so when he had a chance, he caved and went back to her and she insisted he break all contact with you.

 

they probably had unresolved issues that crept up again and i am guessing this time he left her.

 

happy ending for him to be back in charge of his life. happy ending for you if he learns to appreciate a woman now. good luck to the 2 of you.