DenverBachelor Posted February 23, 2010 Share Posted February 23, 2010 If a prophet came up to you and whispered in your ear, "If you get with this person, it will end in one year, five years, ten, etc." -- would you still do it? Do you really need forever to have wonderful experiences? And does the mortality of a relationship make what you shared any less precious? Think about that a bit before you reply. Link to post Share on other sites
twinklecat Posted February 23, 2010 Share Posted February 23, 2010 Even though my ex certainly isn't a nice person, and has hurt me beyond belief, I'd still do it all over again. We still shared some wonderful moments. If anything, him ending it will ultimately lead me to be a better person, he's taught me really big life lesson, and I've learned alot along the way. I don't have regrets, as I can't change what's already happened, so there is no point in regretting. Link to post Share on other sites
GrayClouds Posted February 23, 2010 Share Posted February 23, 2010 If a prophet came up to you and whispered in your ear, "If you get with this person, it will end in one year, five years, ten, etc." -- would you still do it? Do you really need forever to have wonderful experiences? And does the mortality of a relationship make what you shared any less precious? Think about that a bit before you reply. I would ask him if whispering in my ear was a come on, and if so, I would tell him I do not swing that way.... Link to post Share on other sites
USMCHokie Posted February 23, 2010 Share Posted February 23, 2010 I would not do it. I'd find someone else to have those experiences with and take my chances with her... Link to post Share on other sites
Author DenverBachelor Posted February 23, 2010 Author Share Posted February 23, 2010 I would not do it. I'd find someone else to have those experiences with and take my chances with her... I appreciate that response but the whole point is that the prophet comes up to you BEFORE you have your relationship, not after. He's not asking you to relive it again -- he's just letting you know it won't last. Link to post Share on other sites
The Paper Knight Posted February 23, 2010 Share Posted February 23, 2010 If a prophet came up to you and whispered in your ear, "If you get with this person, it will end in one year, five years, ten, etc." -- would you still do it? Do you really need forever to have wonderful experiences? And does the mortality of a relationship make what you shared any less precious? Of course, after having so many relationships with many different girls and seeing other good people have their relationship end, I have grown use to the idea that nothing lasts forever. The promise of one stable year with a loving partner almost sounds too good to be true. as Frank use to sing... That's life (that's life), that's what all the people say You're ridin' high in April, shot down in May But I know I'm gonna change that tune When I'm back on top, back on top in June ... Link to post Share on other sites
Perhaps Posted February 23, 2010 Share Posted February 23, 2010 Nope, I wouldn't. If the relationship was going to end in 5 years and I didn't know, I'd go for it. It's like writing an exam - if sometime tells you that you'll get a 60, your hope of a 100% is squashed - it takes away hope - which is that intangible certain thing we all cling to in an uncertain world. [/philosopher] Link to post Share on other sites
skydiveaddict Posted February 23, 2010 Share Posted February 23, 2010 (edited) I wouldn't either . I like "forever" Great question! And I can tell you from first hand experience, as many others here can as well, when "forever" doesn't work out, it really sucks Edited February 23, 2010 by skydiveaddict Link to post Share on other sites
carhill Posted February 23, 2010 Share Posted February 23, 2010 Thought.... If the prophet proposed the experience to be positive and finite, then absolutely. There is only one mortality. Link to post Share on other sites
USMCHokie Posted February 23, 2010 Share Posted February 23, 2010 I appreciate that response but the whole point is that the prophet comes up to you BEFORE you have your relationship, not after. He's not asking you to relive it again -- he's just letting you know it won't last. Exactly. That's how I interpreted your question. And yes, the answer is the same, I wouldn't take that relationship. I'd find someone where I didn't know if there'd be a timeline... But on the other hand, if he had come AFTER my last relationship and asked if I'd live it over again knowing that it'd end the way it did, I'd say yes, please every time. Link to post Share on other sites
Author DenverBachelor Posted February 23, 2010 Author Share Posted February 23, 2010 But on the other hand, if he had come AFTER my last relationship and asked if I'd live it over again knowing that it'd end the way it did, I'd say yes, please every time. Ahh well, yes, that's very interesting indeed. Because if he had come to you before your present relationship, you would have said no -- but knowing now what you lost, you'd relive it. Interesting. Link to post Share on other sites
USMCHokie Posted February 23, 2010 Share Posted February 23, 2010 Ahh well, yes, that's very interesting indeed. Because if he had come to you before your present relationship, you would have said no -- but knowing now what you lost, you'd relive it. Interesting. Yes, you're right, I thought about it somemore and after seeing what you said, I'd still stand by my answer. Back to your original question, I'd say yes, I value the experiences I have in my life, and I wouldn't trade them for anything different. However, the only reason I'd choose to pass on a relationship is because knowing the future will certainly affect the present. What kind of life could you lead if you knew what was coming around every corner? I wouldn't want a relationship deadline to affect my experience, as it certainly would. I'd take my chances with someone else that had the potential for a lifelong relationship...because deep down I'm still that pitiful romantic at heart who believes in that sh*t... Link to post Share on other sites
skydiveaddict Posted February 23, 2010 Share Posted February 23, 2010 Yes, you're right, I thought about it somemore and after seeing what you said, I'd still stand by my answer. Back to your original question, I'd say yes, I value the experiences I have in my life, and I wouldn't trade them for anything different. However, the only reason I'd choose to pass on a relationship is because knowing the future will certainly affect the present. What kind of life could you lead if you knew what was coming around every corner? I wouldn't want a relationship deadline to affect my experience, as it certainly would. I'd take my chances with someone else that had the potential for a lifelong relationship...because deep down I'm still that pitiful romantic at heart who believes in that sh*t... Yea, but certainly you wouldnt pick a relationship you knew wouldn't last. Link to post Share on other sites
D-Lish Posted February 23, 2010 Share Posted February 23, 2010 I wouldn't do it for the experience - simply because experience has taught me that ending a relationship is far more painful than never having the experience at all. If I met a cool guy and I knew I only had a year, two years, ten years to be with him, I'd back out. If my prophet said that we'd grow old together, but he'd die first- I'd probably go for it. Link to post Share on other sites
Chi NZ Posted February 23, 2010 Share Posted February 23, 2010 I would repeat the experience in a second. The love, good times, bad times, idiosyncrasies, pain... Basically if you feel the juice is worth the squeeze then I think anyone would jump at the opportunity to do it again a second, third, fourth time round. Link to post Share on other sites
Sassygirl2 Posted February 23, 2010 Share Posted February 23, 2010 My answer is the same as D Lish. It's like knowing you are only going to live a certain amount of years........I wouldn't be able to live with that anxiety........... Link to post Share on other sites
Ingenue Posted February 23, 2010 Share Posted February 23, 2010 I would not do it either. I know that experiences in life are fleeting; nothing lasts forever. Part of the mystery of life is not knowing what happens in the future. That unpredictability is what keeps me on my feet, provides me with a sense of optimism and grounds me. Having that prophet forecast my future is not something I care to entertain. I don't want to know how things end before they actually do. Link to post Share on other sites
Chi NZ Posted February 23, 2010 Share Posted February 23, 2010 The thing is the experiences in life make us who we are...why would we change that ? It's like reinforcement and conviction to do this and realise that the things we do, relationships we have make us who we are. This is just me however and in no way judging others. Link to post Share on other sites
EricaH329 Posted February 23, 2010 Share Posted February 23, 2010 Good question Denver!! And to answer it, I most certainly would! I can honestly say, thinking back, that i've learned something valuable out of every one of my relationships. Whether it has been something about myself that I hadn't realized, or something about who I want to end up with. Every time a relationship of mine ends, I become stronger. I learn what to deal with, and what not to deal with. I learn when to compromise, and when to back away. I learn when to keep my mouth shut, and when to say something. I can honestly say that i'm very grateful for every relationship i've had, whether it was a good experience or a bad one. And every relationship i've had has made me come closer and closer to the person I ultimately want to be with. To be honest, i'm not sure if I would be the person that I am today without those experiences. Link to post Share on other sites
Chitowngirl Posted February 23, 2010 Share Posted February 23, 2010 If a prophet came up to you and whispered in your ear, "If you get with this person, it will end in one year, five years, ten, etc." -- would you still do it? Do you really need forever to have wonderful experiences? And does the mortality of a relationship make what you shared any less precious? Think about that a bit before you reply. No. I think I would be better off today if I had never known him. I learned a few things about myself, and improved my social skills, but I could have learned that from someone who wasn't abusive. I wish I would have stayed with a guy I dated 5 yrs ago. If I was still with him today I'm sure my life would be much better. Link to post Share on other sites
The Paper Knight Posted February 23, 2010 Share Posted February 23, 2010 I wish I would have stayed with a guy I dated 5 yrs ago. If I was still with him today I'm sure my life would be much better. Don't live in regret. We have all had a partner tell us that 'now is not the right time'. We live and learn and that time was not for you. Link to post Share on other sites
kickintheaz Posted February 23, 2010 Share Posted February 23, 2010 now that is one of the more intriguing questions posed on here... fair play DB.. We are all aware that people enter our lives at different stages in order to do one thing (or more) for us, be it to teach us about heartwrenching heartbreak after being our first love, to guide us through a difficult time in our life when the rest of the world is down on us, or the ultimate, as all us romantics on here want..to allow us live a secure and happy life connected to one person forever, to give us the gift of children and pets and a happy home and to allow us experience grief at a a very old age when that one person you poured all your hopes and dreams into passes. So, if I was offered a chance to be with ex for 3 years and 3 months without ever knowing what she was going to bring into my life then absolutely I would take that chance.. BUT only at that time in my life before I knew her. I'm 4 years older now, heading for mid 30s, I want forever at this stage so no it wouldn't suit me today to take that chance... however if that prophet is hangin round and knows the lottery numbers for the weekend then please, whisper away.. Link to post Share on other sites
cdt76 Posted February 23, 2010 Share Posted February 23, 2010 No. I want forever. I don't want a limited time only special. Too much is at stake, too much rides on the whims of estrogen laced fancy and diluted thinking and too much of me is taken and ruined with the exit after falling deeply in love. I would not accept it. I would say to him that he is the devil and his gesture is one of malice and misfortune. Nothing good can come of it. Why would I sacrifice a part of my soul for good sex or the memory of a New Year's Eve party? Why would I allow myself the months, years of rebuilding myself, heart and life that would be broken ? I would not. I do not believe it is better to have loved and lost then to never have loved at all. Alfred Loyd Tennyson was wrong about that. He was wrong, completely wrong. Link to post Share on other sites
Dark_of_the_Moon Posted February 23, 2010 Share Posted February 23, 2010 No, in this case, if I had known the pain and heartache and losses to myself. I would not. I have wished several times that I had never met him now. The bad has far outweighed the good. I do not know why this one man has had the effect on me he had. I can not understand for the life of me what made him different. This has colored everything that has come before and since. I am broken now and dont really see being whole again. Yes, I have learned from this. But, I can not say I like what I now know, or like what I have become. I preferred my life before and have too many regrets now. Maybe someday my thoughts will change but I doubt it. If I could erase the last two years of my life, I would do anything. Link to post Share on other sites
HeavenOrHell Posted February 23, 2010 Share Posted February 23, 2010 I would do it again as we were so happy for so long, but I'm not sure if I would have taken him back twice 9 years ago, maybe I would have just stopped there. Link to post Share on other sites
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