DenverBachelor Posted January 4, 2010 Share Posted January 4, 2010 I am just curious if anyone on this forum has ever moved across the country for someone and had that relationship fail? I moved out to Colorado a year ago in October of 08'. Since that time, I've acquired a great job but I often feel very alone. She and her family were my family and now that they are gone, I sometimes feel a bit isolated and alone. I have made some friends out here, but it takes time to establish meaningful and deep friendships. Most of my family and best friends are back in Maryland. I am just reaching out to see if anyone else has ever been in this situation, and how long it took you to fully adapt to being alone. I am holding up well, but there are times when I feel extremely alone and during those times I encounter moments of weakness. I have no intentions of moving (except possibly to San Francisco in the coming months), but this was the first major move of my life. The independence is a great feeling but you know, there are just times when I miss her family and miss having that support structure in place. Unfortunately, it is one of the tougher consequences I have had to face from the breakup. Thanks. Link to post Share on other sites
alphamale Posted January 4, 2010 Share Posted January 4, 2010 i have never moved for any woman nor would i move for any woman. i have had two move for me and i ended up ditching them both. Link to post Share on other sites
EricaH329 Posted January 4, 2010 Share Posted January 4, 2010 The most i've moved for a man was my ex fiance, and that was only 3 hours away from where i'm living now. When we broke up, I didn't stick around. I came back home. I can't imagine what it must feel like to go through what you are dealing with. I truly wish you all of the strength in the world. Link to post Share on other sites
Bulldozed Posted January 4, 2010 Share Posted January 4, 2010 DB - I actually remained in my college gf's hometown for 3 more years after we split. In my case, smaller town didn't offer me a whole lot of opportunity career-wise. I actually had a few friends i knew through her, so it was ok for a while. Eventually I moved back home. Enjoy Denver. I've got a lot of fraternity brothers that live in the area. If you're ever at Scruffly Murphy's, you'll see one of them performing, One-Man Ruckus. Link to post Share on other sites
Author DenverBachelor Posted January 4, 2010 Author Share Posted January 4, 2010 I can't imagine what it must feel like to go through what you are dealing with. I truly wish you all of the strength in the world. Thank you. That means a lot. Link to post Share on other sites
carolinawanderer Posted January 4, 2010 Share Posted January 4, 2010 Yup. Moved three states away from home for my then-girlfriend to a place where neither of us knew anyone. We move in together, get settled. She dumps me 10 days later after nearly two years together. I stayed in this town (a small/medium college town), moved down the street. That was a mistake. I'm leaving in a few months, but I wish it could be sooner. Like DB, I have made *some* friends, but no "best friend" types I see every day. The whole town revolves around the university, which makes it difficult for me, as I'm not in school there. My ex is currently sleeping with a new guy right down the street from me, in the bed that was supposed to be ours. Today is her birthday. I wonder if she'll even give me a passing thought. Link to post Share on other sites
confused71 Posted January 4, 2010 Share Posted January 4, 2010 I moved from the UK to Canada 3 years ago when my now ex wife found a new better paid job out here. 1 and a half years after moving she has some kind of midlife crisis and starts going out clubbing with younger workmates and proceeds to have an affair (amongst other crazier things) We are now divorced and I spent pretty much over a year in hell out here with no family or friends for support. I couldnt really go back to UK as I would struggle to find work due to recession. I am doing a lot better now though and have met someone wonderfull and hope things work out:) Link to post Share on other sites
Limbo21 Posted January 4, 2010 Share Posted January 4, 2010 The opposite way around for me. My ex moved from Oxford (uk) to Derbyshire/nottinghamshire about 200 miles 2.5 years ago. She dumped me We found her a house that I could also move into with my son. Had a great school & now it's dead Link to post Share on other sites
deux ex machina Posted January 4, 2010 Share Posted January 4, 2010 (edited) I know of a few that moved for someone. 1. She moved from Colorado to New Zealand. They aren't together anymore, but I still consider it a successful relationship, as it lasted over 5 years. 2. He met her in Florida. He liked her so much they kept corresponding. After a few years she moved to the southwest, and they got married. She is still without him there physically a lot, due to his career - but last I heard they happily make it work. 3. She moved from Chicago to Los Angeles, to go to UCLA. She met him there, but ended up going back to the midwest, as originally intended. She couldn't get him out of her mind, and as much as she disliked the city she moved there for him. They are no longer together, and she is still in the city she really can't stand (her job is very specialized). Edited January 4, 2010 by deux ex machina Link to post Share on other sites
sean1970 Posted January 4, 2010 Share Posted January 4, 2010 Moved from MI to ME. Stayed for five years. She had wealthy Godparents there and their family. With them, we did everything together. Four-wheeling, lobster bakes, all the holidays were with them. When we broke up, I stayed there for almost 2 months, and like you, was cut off from them all. Very lonely time indeed. Link to post Share on other sites
twinklecat Posted January 4, 2010 Share Posted January 4, 2010 Hello Denver I moved to another country for my ex. He had gotten a temporary job here that turned permanent, and he wanted to stay so I moved. That was 3 years ago. He ended things at the end of October, at first I was absolutely dumbstruck, thought I could not survive without him, but I found I had made my own life here, I love my job and plenty of friends and family are only a phonecall away. I will say this breakup has been harder than any other, as well I haven't had my family around me. I'm getting there though! I intend to stay here, until I feel I want to move on elsewhere, if I do, but currently I'm good here. I hope you're okay, as a situation like this is extremely hard, it just adds to the pain of actually breaking up with someone. ~twinkle x Link to post Share on other sites
Author DenverBachelor Posted January 4, 2010 Author Share Posted January 4, 2010 I hope you're okay, as a situation like this is extremely hard, it just adds to the pain of actually breaking up with someone. ~twinkle x I'll be okay. Colorado is really a beautiful state and one of the coolest states I've ever been in. The women here are great. Denver is clean and very progressive. Boulder is a very unique and uber-liberal city. The world works in mysterious ways and if I hadn't moved out here to be with her, I wouldn't have the opportunities I have now. There are no wrong turns in life, except those we label as such in retrospection. I don't regret moving here. Thanks for the replies! Link to post Share on other sites
DustySaltus Posted January 4, 2010 Share Posted January 4, 2010 I think you know my story. Moved from New York to Israel, got engaged, subjected myself to a military draft if things would've lasted a few more weeks, cost me about $35-$45K, was teaching english for $4 an hour, and now i'm back in New York. Link to post Share on other sites
twinklecat Posted January 4, 2010 Share Posted January 4, 2010 You're welcome Don't get me wrong, I don't regret moving at all. I feel exactly the same, I would not have the opportunities I have now had I not moved. The wonderful people I have met, and this country, my job, I love it, no question on going back home, just no. Link to post Share on other sites
thepulse27 Posted January 14, 2010 Share Posted January 14, 2010 I'm in London now, I moved here because she finished college in the US in Dec and was moving here in Feb. I was going to start a teaching career and she was going to do post grad study here. Now shes staying, found herself a toyboy to tide her over till she can move to NY and I'm here in London. alone. I dont know how you stay in places afterwards, I cant imagine. As soon as i feel I've fulfilled my obligation to this job (that I accepted to move here and set up a life for us both) then I'm out of here. but i think thats how I would deal with something this unbelievably horrible no matter where I was. I like to go somewhere completely new, change my scenery and finally feel no ties to the life that now makes me miserable thinking about. I will still have amazing family and friends back home, and everywhere else ive been. But i need a fresh start. Next up Australia! (in June I hope, its the only thing getting me through the days). Link to post Share on other sites
McGrupp Posted January 14, 2010 Share Posted January 14, 2010 was living in stamford , ct with the ex. moved home to NJ (only bout an hour away so nothing drastic). thinking about moving to boulder actually. got one friend out there, but he says my style plays out there...haha Link to post Share on other sites
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