McGrupp Posted January 4, 2010 Share Posted January 4, 2010 so ive been talking to alot of friends and they all have had their ex's from HS or college come back at one moment and how they all have rejected them. ive been thinking bout my ex (oh really?) and how when we talked the other day it was so vague. the convo b4 that real vague and how i know for a fact she didnt leave me for another. how she says she still isnt doing anything different and whatever her lifestyle is pretty boring. i betcha...shes lonely. she is bored with the bar hookups. i see a lot of ladies post on here and say "oh i hated this one ex when he acted like a baby" yet the are still on here single or whatever. so i woud like to think my ex, is thinking the grass will be greener but isnt finding it. or least as good of sex as i used to rock her world. does anyone feel me on this? or any stories. im kinda drunk but i would like to think my ex is having a rough go around. Link to post Share on other sites
DenverBachelor Posted January 4, 2010 Share Posted January 4, 2010 (edited) im kinda drunk but i would like to think my ex is having a rough go around. I don't really think it is prudent or healthy to wish ill-will on any ex. Breakups can be tough and we all do and say things we'll later regret. There isn't any clean way out of a relationship when you really loved the other person. That being said, you really shouldn't be too concerned with what she's doing, who she is dating (or whether she is dating at all) or how she is holding up. You should really be in NC and focusing on your own goals and life. Always remember that she left you -- it was a decision she made on her behalf. No matter what reasons were behind the decision or even if the decision was sound at all, she made it. You can't change that but what you can do is change your life for the better and move on. You're going to have to forget about her in the end. As tough as that is to do, it has to be done. You're the only one carrying the memories and emotions from the past when she has moved forward. It feels a bit strange realizing that once you let go, nobody is left to carry what was -- but you can't carry empty bags through your life just because they once contained something precious. You're going to have to break the vicious cycle within your own soul and mind and just let it go completely. When you are underwater and holding your breath, you have two options. You can stay underwater until you gasp for air and drown, or you can come up to the surface and exhale and breathe freely again. You're underwater holding your breath (memories, emotions) because you're afraid to let go. Letting go is not a weakness, but a necessity. The relationship is dead but only in your mind is it still somewhat half-alive. You have to swim up to the surface and exhale, man. Edited January 4, 2010 by DenverBachelor 2 Link to post Share on other sites
wowIlose Posted January 4, 2010 Share Posted January 4, 2010 Ego is a funny thing, a mans biggest weakness... I think the best thing to do is as Denver said, stop worrying about what shes doing. It becomes self destructive... Keep yourself busy and occupied and when your mind idles try to think of something besides her. It's a tough thing to do and the drinking will not help you. Get yourself together (no more drinking) and fill your mind with new thoughts. Link to post Share on other sites
deux ex machina Posted January 4, 2010 Share Posted January 4, 2010 The advice here is so great. I really believe thinking of an ex so much can really become a habit of sorts in your life. A habit that is so delibilitating, like this one (you have no control over any of this), really can have a very negative ripple effect on your life. It can keep you from other opportunities, keep you stuck. Then the habit becomes more entrenched. Mired in something that is in the past. Let the past be the past. Be careful. Link to post Share on other sites
soheartbroken Posted January 4, 2010 Share Posted January 4, 2010 It feels a bit strange realizing that once you let go, nobody is left to carry what was -- but you can't carry empty bags through your life just because they once contained something precious. You're going to have to break the vicious cycle within your own soul and mind and just let it go completely. Touche Denver. Link to post Share on other sites
threebyfate Posted January 4, 2010 Share Posted January 4, 2010 "Grass is always Greener" individuals are a waste of time, emotion and energy. If you need something to hold onto, hold onto the FACT that you're better off without someone like this. Link to post Share on other sites
Author McGrupp Posted January 4, 2010 Author Share Posted January 4, 2010 your right there denver Link to post Share on other sites
LovelyDaze Posted January 4, 2010 Share Posted January 4, 2010 your right there denver When is he not? I hope you decide to let your ex completely go, McGrupp. No more discussions or any type of communicating. I had DB & Caliguy go for the jugular on a sitiuation I wrote about and it later became clear to me that I need to let my ex go 101%. I've erased him off my Facebook, MySpace, phone list, texting, e-mail and blocked him out of it all. I need time AWAY from him and his BS. You need that too. Just start today that you will not hope for the next time you will talk to your ex or the day she will return and beg for a conversation with you. Unfortunately, you will have to think of your ex as the dead. You wouldn't try a damn thing to get them back because you can't possibly,right? Think the same of your ex because even if she did return, what makes you think she wouldn't leave....again? Link to post Share on other sites
GrayClouds Posted January 4, 2010 Share Posted January 4, 2010 Grass is always greener syndrome... Yes, I think you are suffering from it. You thinking that life would be better if she was back. Your remember the good old days..what about those days just before the broke up? When every nerve in your body know something was up, or that great feeling when you found out she cheated on you. You really want to put you tennies in that cyclone fence climb to the top, squeeze through the barb wire and jump into that field of astroturf. Link to post Share on other sites
LovelyDaze Posted January 4, 2010 Share Posted January 4, 2010 Grass is always greener syndrome... You really want to put you tennies in that cyclone fence climb to the top, squeeze through the barb wire and jump into that field of astroturf. And that's what being with our exes again would be...fake like astroturf and just as harsh. Link to post Share on other sites
Author McGrupp Posted January 5, 2010 Author Share Posted January 5, 2010 what about those days just before the broke up? When every nerve in your body know something was up, or that great feeling when you found out she cheated on you. beautiful. its weird how as these stages pass...different things relate to how i feel. this is one that just hit me good. Link to post Share on other sites
LexiB Posted January 5, 2010 Share Posted January 5, 2010 It feels a bit strange realizing that once you let go, nobody is left to carry what was -- but you can't carry empty bags through your life just because they once contained something precious. DenverBachelor, you just gave me my new mantra Well said! Link to post Share on other sites
GrayClouds Posted January 5, 2010 Share Posted January 5, 2010 Originally Posted by DenverBachelor It feels a bit strange realizing that once you let go, nobody is left to carry what was -- but you can't carry empty bags through your life just because they once contained something precious.Unless your committed to fill them up with something even more precious...but then again I'm not even sure what I mean Link to post Share on other sites
CaliGuy Posted January 5, 2010 Share Posted January 5, 2010 When is he not? I hope you decide to let your ex completely go, McGrupp. No more discussions or any type of communicating. I had DB & Caliguy go for the jugular on a sitiuation I wrote about and it later became clear to me that I need to let my ex go 101%. I've erased him off my Facebook, MySpace, phone list, texting, e-mail and blocked him out of it all. I need time AWAY from him and his BS. You need that too. Just start today that you will not hope for the next time you will talk to your ex or the day she will return and beg for a conversation with you. Unfortunately, you will have to think of your ex as the dead. You wouldn't try a damn thing to get them back because you can't possibly,right? Think the same of your ex because even if she did return, what makes you think she wouldn't leave....again? We all need a kick in arse ocasionally to see sitatuions from the right perspective. If I went for the jugular, it's because I felt that is what I needed to do to get the message across clearly. Certainly it wasn't to be be mean -- and those who know me well here on LS know that I myself have needed a stick kick in the butt -- and more than once -- to get my butt in gear Tough love. We all need it sometimes Link to post Share on other sites
sean1970 Posted January 5, 2010 Share Posted January 5, 2010 ...I myself have needed a stick kick in the butt 'Stiff kick' maybe... the stick penalty is a little much... Link to post Share on other sites
LovelyDaze Posted January 6, 2010 Share Posted January 6, 2010 We all need a kick in arse ocasionally to see sitatuions from the right perspective. If I went for the jugular, it's because I felt that is what I needed to do to get the message across clearly. Certainly it wasn't to be be mean -- and those who know me well here on LS know that I myself have needed a stick kick in the butt -- and more than once -- to get my butt in gear Tough love. We all need it sometimes Oh, that's just it CaliGuy...I THANK YOU!!! We do need a swift kick to wake us up from the fantasy notion that our ex will give us a Romantic movie ending. Especially as a woman, I fed into all of that stuff about love always winning over any situation. Not true. I've learned the love for YOURSELF, integrity, class, grace, and confidence are the best. Please, CaliGuy by all means, kick my arse if I so much as say I want my awful ex back! Link to post Share on other sites
mickleb Posted January 6, 2010 Share Posted January 6, 2010 'Stiff kick' maybe... the stick penalty is a little much... :lmao: So funny.. Mr McGrupp - Happy New Year! You back at work, by any chance?? How was your trip? x Link to post Share on other sites
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