I Cant Take It Anymore

[Broken_Unspoken]

Okay, this is my story. Firstly, Im a 13 year old girl from the uk. But please dont let my age fool you, ive been through alot.

i'd ratther not get into details, but since i was 11 i've been sexually abused by my dad. Thank god its all stopped now.

 

Im going through a really rough time just now. Im in second year in school, and theres this one guy, lets call him Y. Ive liked Y for 2 years now, and each day i fall more and more inlove with him. But theres a problem. Hes 17 and in 6th year. Oh, and hes got a girlfriend. Okay, so some people can have high school crushes, and be all like, "oh i think hes hot". But this is diffrent. Every second im away from Y is terrible. I feel weak, usuless and non-exsisting. Even in school, he doesnt agknowlage me at all. He walks by me like im not even there! Last summer, was terrible. I didnt see him for 9 weeks, and tbh, i turned suicidle. My mom had to take me to a psychologist due to it. of course i didnt tell them it was due to a boy. No. i lied saying it was all my dads fault im like this. When i know myself its not. im getting really worried now. cause he isnt like a crush anymore, hes like a habbit i cant shake off. HEs all i think about, and i cant get through my day without seeing him smile. When i go into third year, he will be leaving school, and im never going to see him again. i ddread that. Even the thought of it makes my stomach lurch.

please someone help me.....before i go completley insane :|

[sugarmomma]

I'm sorry to hear that you were sexually abused by someone that was suppose to protect you. I would suggest that you try to forget about this boy becasue he is too old for you and you have too may issues to in a realtionship. I would suggest that you be honest with your mom and your therapist and try to heal from the abuse. If not it can really determine the course of all your future relationships. You may chase men most of the rest of your life only to be disappointed and unfullfilled. You are just a young lady and you have plenty of time for boys. Work on healing from the abuse and learning to love yourself without needing validation from some boy. The only love that really matters in life is the love you give to yourself.

[bluestraps]

Broken_Unspoken.. Im sorry you had to go through this. I think the worst thing anyone can do is hurt a child . Adults can be really cruel and mean even to eachother. And Yes Even though kids today are growing up faster remember you are still a young girl. I agree with sugar momma , and also I want to take it a step further. You need to keep getting help, you need to tell your Mom about what you're feeling. Things like dating and having boyfriends go with being responsible. And you are too young to handle it.There is nothing wrong with having a crush. It is normal .And since it's really effecting you, this boy you like. You should not keep it to yourself. Remember you are only young once. You should enjoy being with your friends, and being a kid.Its bad enough that there are so many adults on this site that have had their hearts broken. Its really bad that you are young and you should just be enjoying your childhood.So be good and dont worry . Just trust your Mom.