kitkatwafer Posted June 11, 2009 Share Posted June 11, 2009 Last year my wife woke up one morning and said she wanted to be on her own. I gave her space and moved out. 1 week later I found out she was having an affair. She moved him into my house the same day with my 2 girls and step son. She then got engaged and talked about having a baby with him. I went on holiday with my 2 girls, but on the return she stopped them from seeing me. It took me 6 weeks to get to see them again. She also dumped all my posessions on my mothers driveway. When I bought a new house and started getting on with a life on my own, she made it very hard for me to see my girls. Would not let them stay over and would arrange doctor appointments etc when I was ment to have them. Anyway 4 months later the affair ended, as she said she loved me. I was reluctant at first but after a while I accepted her back. I could not go back to my old home so they moved into my new home. The thing is now, 6months on, I cannot forget what happened. Everyday I think about some part of those 4 monts. I try not to but cannot help it. I am now thinking I would be better on my own!!! as this is driving me mad. What should I do? What have others done? Link to post Share on other sites
NopeNah Posted June 11, 2009 Share Posted June 11, 2009 Document everything that has happened,,and kick her ass to the curb! You shouldn't have to "get over" this and obviouly you can't.. not to be harsh but, I was married to a cheater for 7 years and now my ex GF was found to be a cheater.. Doesent it suck when they're 20minutes late getting home and you are setting there with all the thoughts of infidelity running thru your head? Where and what are they doing?Why isn't she answering my calls? Once she's gone you"ll get the "freedom of fear"..goodluck! but, bounce quick!! Link to post Share on other sites
iBelieve In Symmetry Posted June 11, 2009 Share Posted June 11, 2009 I am so sorry for what she has made you go through. And I'm sorry I haven't gone through something similar. If you really want to work it out (the both of you), try counseling together. If not... Move on! Since you can't move out, you're going to have to ask her to leave. Do it politely, and help her financially as best as you can (and want). You were on your way to recovering and she messed it up for you. If you really think it's what you want, do it! Get up and do it. You don't deserve what she did to you. This is something I was also afraid of after forgiving my girlfriend for cheating. It was always on my mind. And I was afraid if we were still together 10 years down the road, it would still bother me. I was afraid to be with this woman for the rest of my life and have that mistake SHE made affect me years and years later. Would it have bothered me years later? I don't know, because it ended. CAN it stop bothering you? I don't know, because mine ended. This is where I can't provide advice. It hurts so much, man, it really does. But do you want to want to take the risk of spending anymore time with this woman with this on your mind the whole time? It's a scary thought. If these things stay on your mind, I'm sure 20 years from now you'll look back regretting not rejecting her. Maybe you'll never be able to trust her again. Who knows? But is the risk worth it? Link to post Share on other sites
iBelieve In Symmetry Posted June 11, 2009 Share Posted June 11, 2009 Doesent it suck when they're 20minutes late getting home and you are setting there with all the thoughts of infidelity running thru your head? Where and what are they doing?Why isn't she answering my calls? Once she's gone you"ll get the "freedom of fear" Exactly. This is exactly what it's like, I'm sure you know that very well. But the freedom of fear is also truth. Take your pick! Link to post Share on other sites
z1850 Posted June 11, 2009 Share Posted June 11, 2009 Adultery. Divorce. Adultery. Divorce. Adultery. Divorce. I want you to remember that. Link to post Share on other sites
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