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Teacher's Pet

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Teacher's Pet

NO CONTACT.

 

BROKEN.

 

Yes, folks...

 

It has happened.

 

"The Teacher", after almost 3 years, HAS CONTACTED ME.

 

The very person that drove me into depression, the woman who broke my heart, forcing me to seek out support, and finding LS.... has contacted me.

 

When the shock settles a little, I'll post more.

 

-TP

uh...i..uh...umm...uh....

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Teacher's Pet

Well, if you have come this far, thank you. I did send an email to your aol name. I am not sure if you got it or you did and said **** it and her and just didn't respond. If you did then I am writing this for nothing.

 

This was my other option, I remembered you had a myspace and thought I could find you here.

 

I am trying to remember exactly what I said in the last email I sent you but I think it was something to the effect that..I am an *******..not that you didn't know that already.

 

My main reason for writing this is to apologize. I don't know how good it will do and it is mainly so I can live with myself from now on after I have realized what I did to you and how I ended not only our relationship, but our friendship as well. I guess it is not until you get a taste of your medicine you realize what a jerkoff you were!

 

No one deserves what I did to you and I can't take it back and I guess I wouldn't be surprised if you didn't forgive me, but as I said as I was raised, you need to try to right the wrongs you have done in your life before it is to late, and you regret what you have done and have the shouldda woulddas.

 

I could sit here and try to make excuses for what I did to you but that would be more ****ed up than what I did. The only thing I can say is that I am truly sorry for breaking your heart. I have been through enough loss in my life in the past and recenty and I guess it takes that to make you stop and think that life is too short and you shoud do your best as I said to make right the wrongs.

 

I can only imagine how you felt, and I think going through what I have, I understand what I did to you was probably the ****tiest thing anyone has ever done to you!

 

Why am I writing this mail, to acknowledge that I ****ed up, and ****ed with you and you were only trying to be genuine and I pushed you away. Psychotically yes, and acted like a total bipolar bitch, yes! Like I said this is not to make excuses and if you do care to hear my reasons, not to justify, but for your own piece (and at this point you are probably over it) And my intention was not to stir your bad memories...

 

If you see it fit to respond I would greatly appreciate it, but if you want to pretend this email got "lost" I will understand that completely as well.

 

I want to wish you the best and thank you for giving me the opportunity (if you want) to "right the wrong"

 

All the best!

xxxx

 

++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

 

Advice?

 

Anyone?

 

My first impression is to say that she is being genuine. As badly as she treated me, she never once lied to me during our whole relationship..... She has a close bond with her family, so I know at least in SOME ways, she's "emotionally grounded"....

 

She alluded to the fact that she's had some "recent loss"... I know her father was not in the best of health (heart attack not long before we met), and there has always been a bit of a rift within her family (between her mother and her aunts)....so, I believe she's had some sort of a "wake up call".

 

Does this mean I'm willing to forgive her? No. She did what she did to me when times were "better" for her, so she has no excuse.

 

But, if she's truly "found herself" and realizes how she's treated me (and others), my "compassionate conservative" side would perhaps listen, but with a bit of cynicism.

 

I dunno...

 

I've never had an ex contact me like this, so I'm not sure how to react.

 

Sadly, part of me is wishing it was a different ex who was making contact, but that's a story for a different time...

 

-TP

she missed my c*ck. :p

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GorillaTheater

Time to start thinking revenge scenarios. You know, soul-crushing leaving-her-dessicated-husk-in-the-dirt type stuff. We're here for you, TP.

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I definitely have advice. Man, my ex f*cked me up probably as badly as yours did. In a way, I am quite jealous that you got an apology, though I guess it took three years.

 

As you say, you think she suffered a recent loss. It's quite possible. Unfortunately, sometimes the only way some people can understand pain is when it happens to them. That sounds like what is happening right now with her. She's having a wake-up call, but unfortunately, it's three years too late.

 

I don't think you should respond. It could be a ploy to get you back in her life and use you again. You have moved on. Yes, she was awful to you, but you can put all that behind you FOR GOOD by not responding.

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westernxer

I guess it comes down to whether or not you feel like contacting her.

 

Would it open up old wounds?

 

Will it bring closure?

 

Most importantly...

 

Will this bring you to a point where you can forgive her and move on? Do you even have to respond?

 

Think it over for awhile. Whatever you do, don't respond until you've gotten a grip on what you want to say.

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personally I would ignore it.

 

The email sounds kinda self serving in a way. She wants you to forgive her so she can feel better.

 

I really has nothing to do with you. It is about her asuging her own guilt.

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My main reason for writing this is to apologize. I don't know how good it will do and it is mainly so I can live with myself from now on

 

Think about this line. REALLY think about what it means.

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Teacher's Pet
Time to start thinking revenge scenarios. You know, soul-crushing leaving-her-dessicated-husk-in-the-dirt type stuff. We're here for you, TP.

 

lol..

 

Right after we broke up, I had the perfect revenge planned.

 

Ehh...not my style.

 

-TP

nice boy

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Think about this line. REALLY think about what it means.

Yeah...I think kiz hit the nail right on the head! The line that he quoted is THE line of the entire piece.

 

Teacher's Pet, you could write back, "Thanks for your letter. I hope that it did help you achieve your goal, and that you'll be able to live with yourself from now on."

If it also brought you some closure you can also, of course, add a line about that.

 

Good luck with dealing with this...even when you know exactly what's going on it can still be quite dramatic and traumatic on the old psyche.

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Art_Critic

Damn.. I would've thought she would've been funnier.. no humor in her letter ?

 

You can either.. don't respond or respond.. either will make you feel the same way being it has been 3 years and you have moved on.

 

If it were me I would respond, but remember that she wants more that an acknowledgment and if that is okay for you then fine.

 

Do you want to contact her ?

 

If I remember you have some friends in common ? so maybe she has kept up with you somewhat..

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underpants

The email sounds kinda self serving in a way. She wants you to forgive her so she can feel better.

 

I really has nothing to do with you. It is about her asuging her own guilt.

 

This is what I got from her words.

 

She has probably been recently dumped and reaching back to a time/person that treated her better. The old emotional time travel.

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Trialbyfire

Dear Ex:

 

While I've already forgiven you, I can't forgive your actions.

 

Good luck with your life.

 

Take care,

TP

-notice the capital letters?

 

---------------------------------------------

 

This give a nod to her self-serving requirements but ensures no further emotional tampon usage.

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donnamaybe
This is what I got from her words.

 

She has probably been recently dumped and reaching back to a time/person that treated her better. The old emotional time travel.

 

That is exactly what I got from it as well.

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Yeah TP I saw the same thing. Mainly that she seeks forgiveness so that she can live with herself. To try and fix the wrongs.

 

If you don't want to get back with her, forgive her. It's really the right thing to do not so much for her but for yourself. When you forgive them AND yourself, you can truly move on with life.

 

I'd answer with only three words and leave it at that: "I forgive you"

 

Nothing more, nothing less. You don't have to respond to anything else she said because really, that is all she wants.

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BlueEyedDevil
personally I would ignore it.

 

The email sounds kinda self serving in a way. She wants you to forgive her so she can feel better.

 

I really has nothing to do with you. It is about her asuging her own guilt.

 

i agree.... it's up to you- but i would not give her the satisfaction.

 

and if she "just needed to get it off her chest" well she did that and there is no reason that anyone needs to acknowledge her.

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Not sure what to make of this... I think I ruined any chance of my ex having this epiphany because I broke NC to congratulate her on graduating, a mere 7 months after we broke up.

 

I still talk to her now and then but I make sure to keep it very short. It really doesn't rattle me anymore. More like it trips me out that I spent 5 years with that girl.

 

She's just some chick to me now.

 

What do you think would happen (internally with you) if you returned contact and/or met up with her?

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GorillaTheater
Dear Ex:

 

While I've already forgiven you, I can't forgive your actions.

 

Good luck with your life.

 

Take care,

TP

-notice the capital letters?

 

Oooh, an idea:

 

"Each of us has had to deal with this as best we could. At times, it's been pretty hard. This letter doesn't help a great deal with that hurt.

 

So it might have been best for you not to have sent the letter. Has that occurred to you? It probably didn't. Though it's not surprising."

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Trialbyfire

If TP's looking for revenge, then yes, silence will hurt more.

 

My response isn't intended to be hurtful. Just an opportunity for TP to forgive, which I personally feel, would only be beneficial to him. In doing so, TP doesn't have to live with any guilt for not being the caring person that he is.

 

Btw, I wasn't serious about the "capital letters" aside. You can't pretend to be TP, without being TP. ;)

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GorillaTheater

My last post was probably too subtle, but I try to never explain my jokes. Even when I feel like they're exceedingly clever.

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she got some cojones, that's for sure.

 

meanwhile this is the best advice: personally I would ignore it.The email sounds kinda self serving in a way. She wants you to forgive her so she can feel better. It really has nothing to do with you. It is about her assuaging her own guilt.

 

pretend she nor the letter exists, and go about your merry way. Forgive, yes. Get back in touch, oh HELL NO. Why feed her ego?

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