help me, i'm 15 and confused

[smurfetQT]

my name is alexandra. i really need a women's opinion and advice about this. i'm 15, but i'm desperate so that's why i'm doing this. i'm suicidal and paranoid schizophrenic. in mid march i was sent to a mental hospital where i met my current boyfriend. now i know what your thinking (she's probably a wack job). but i'm not. with medicine, i am stable. and although i see and hear things i'm okay. i am even a ballet dancer. i have been in 3 abusive relationships with guys. and i finally found mr. right, or so i thought. we became very close because we could understand each other. we both had the same problems too. after 3 weeks of treatment there i finally got to go home, and so did he. we only live an hour and a half away from each other, so we promised each other we would try to stay together for each other. that day when i came home, i thought everything had changed, i was finally happy. that night my mom came into my bedroom and said that me and hunter couldn't date. and i asked why. and she said because his parents didn't like the idea. mainly because they are rich and we are not. and that he wanted us to remain good friends though, and maybe more would happen in the future. so as hurt and confused as i was, i said okay. we can be friends. i didn't understand why he did that after those 3 heart felt weeks together. but we stayed friends for a few weeks. but it was more that we loved each other, but had to be friends. so then i couldn't take the hurt anymore, so i basically wrote him a dear john letter. then he wrote me back with an emmotional letter. and we didn't talk or hear from each other until june. then i got one of my friends to call him, because i couldn't stop thinking about him. so he called me, and he said he still wanted us to be friends. so all summer we have been talking, and were still in love. or i thought. because three weeks ago, he got his liscense back, and said he would come and see me. i got dressed nice, and waited for him all day. he never showed up. so i tried killing myself, and my mom stopped me. and i haven't heard from him since. i have e-mailed him, and he has read the e-mails because i check the status, but doesn't write back. he hasn't called or anything. is there something i have done? what should i do?

[quankanne]

sometimes when people go through an intense experience together, they'll forge a very strong bond during that period. At that point in time, they have the same common experience and can identity with each others' feelings and such, but when they go back to a "normal" situation (i.e., "real life"), they rarely think about that intense situation or keeping up with those people they had bonded to during that time.

 

from what you've written, that's what it sounds like -- you guys were pretty much like two ships passing in the night, and now that you're back to the real world, he doesn't think of your time together as something that carries over into his present life.

 

it's not really you, and it's not really him, smurf-child, it's just the nature of the beast. You're best off chalking it up to it being an experience growth and learning, and let the relationship go.

 

as for your parents, I think it's pretty safe to say that none of them are able to see past the fact that you two met while in a mental health facility, and will do their best to encourage you guys from communicating because to acknowledge a relationship is to acknowledge that y'all had severe enough problems to place you in that facility.

 

whatever you do, DON'T let this be fodder for another suicide attempt, it's just not worth it.

[velvet]

Nothing in this world should cause you so much pain to take your own life. Don't forget to love yourself. I know its so easy to forget about ourselves, we become so adapted living day after to day with ourselves that we neglect our mind, bodies and soul. Please be good to yourself and I promise one day you will look back and be thankful that your still alive today. I promise!

 

I know that your feelings are just as real and strong as they are in adults but you are young. You need to get involved with people, people that can be apart of your life for a long time and I know thats why you long for this person who drifted in and out of your life so quickly.

 

Something that you should learn right off the bat! If people don't reciprocate back what you want them to, than don't let yourself down. Everyone has to learn that. That no matter how angry or sad you become, only you hurt you. Only you can let you down. You must become strong in the mind and you will rise above any pain and suffering. I promise!

 

You are a very unique person. Be wise, mysterious to other people. You only live once and you need to milk life for all its worth. One day you will think that it was strange of you to feel suicidal. I promise!

[Ally Boo]

Suicide is a PERMANENT solution to a TEMPORARY problem.