0hpenelope Posted August 18, 2008 Share Posted August 18, 2008 Everyone else struggling with NC: Keep TRYING! If you know that you've done everything - and I mean everything that you've got - and NC's still not working for you... Go back to the drawing board. Just let them go first and then say hello again when you're fully okay. Gain your smiles and your self-respect back, just please do it for yourself. Man, LS is making me sad. I think I may need to take a break from LS again. 17 days and I'm wonderin if she'll send me a bday message today. I'm hoping she doesn't but a sick part of me hopes that she does. Tealeafbud! OH no... I just realized, in reading your post, that today... Is Lawrence's birthday. Eeeewww, okay I feel sad, I feel sad. Now I have to do something else so I don't dwell on it! Thoughts? Ok. Dwelling? NO GO. Happy birthday, TLB! Link to post Share on other sites
replicator Posted August 18, 2008 Share Posted August 18, 2008 From my own experience, I couldn't keep NC until I ran into the wall so many times I became afraid of contact. I keep NC not because I want to, but because I know it would be tantamount as ripping open my wound. The thought of contact with her almost gives me an anxiety attack if I think about it enough. Perhaps those struggling with NC will eventually see it the way I do. I don't think there is any hard and fast rule about NC, but have no illusions about what contact will do for you. Think long and hard about what your intentions are, and what you can realistically expect from making contact. Link to post Share on other sites
Melrapuo Posted August 18, 2008 Share Posted August 18, 2008 Think of NC this way. If you have tried EVERYTHING you can think of to get them back, and nothing has worked? NC is all you have left. But don't think it will get them back either. NC is more for knowing that you've done all you can to try and get them, and now its time to focus on you. You cannot change someone else's mind, but you can change yourself for the better. Link to post Share on other sites
BackonTrack Posted August 18, 2008 Share Posted August 18, 2008 Think of NC this way. If you have tried EVERYTHING you can think of to get them back, and nothing has worked? NC is all you have left. But don't think it will get them back either. NC is more for knowing that you've done all you can to try and get them, and now its time to focus on you. You cannot change someone else's mind, but you can change yourself for the better. I agree with that comment. I tried everything I could. Actually I could of done more but I gave it all I had or all I knew I had at the time. It wasn't enough. Didn't have an effect, in fact I think it drove the ex away even more but after the fog cleared & I really thought about her actions, I realize we can never again be in contact in this lifetime. It took about 5 months, 3 rebounds, weight training, maturing, reflecting & outside advise to come to this conclusion. I've now developed a semi sense of disgust when thinking about the ex, followed by warm memories of the time we shared together.. Strange but I think the love went away, all thats left is a life from the past. On that same note, I have a new life, new car, new apt, new friends, new watch, new girlfriend, even a new wallet, but all of that means really nothing without someone you truely loved to be there with you. I lost that but I gain allot more in material wealth as well as social status & class, in conjunction with developing new hobbies and exploring my likes & dislikes in a more intense manner. I no longer pine for my ex's return. I think I finally moved on, now I just have to get rid of these haunting memories reminding me of my past life which is now over. I think those memories will disappear after a good amount of time has passed. Once that day come, I will be fully free. Link to post Share on other sites
tealeafbud Posted August 19, 2008 Share Posted August 19, 2008 Happy birthday, TLB! Thanks Penelope! I'm thinking that if you hadn't read my post, you might have forgotten all about "what's his name's" bday also. DOH! Anyhoo, sometimes I feel like I'm struggling with NC. Somedays I don't even think about it. I mean, it's not that I gravitate towards the phone, or punch in her number and not hit the Send Button. It's not like that. It's more like wondering stupid stuff like if she thought about me on my bday. Or all the gifts she's given me all those years. Just dumb stuff like that. Maybe struggling is too strong a word now. Hmmm...maybe amicably wearing down NC is a better choice of words. I don't know. I just want to add that I share Back on Track's sentiments. Thanks again penelope. I know you've been there the entire time I've been here and your comments are much appreciated. Link to post Share on other sites
roghornio Posted August 19, 2008 Share Posted August 19, 2008 I no longer pine for my ex's return. I think I finally moved on, now I just have to get rid of these haunting memories reminding me of my past life which is now over. thats it right there. i have this for at least 3 ex's feels like being stuck in a glue. Link to post Share on other sites
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