Jump to content

Struggle


Dolorian

Recommended Posts

I'm on a break right now. I read countless threads and posts about the very same topic but I just had to let my feelings out. I found the girl of my dreams 6 months ago and we had an amazing relationship until a week ago, when she told me she wants time for herself right now. She has a very busy work life and is about to move in her own apartment. A life changing step as it brings new responsibilities into her life. She also has stuff in her past she just can't let go off and she told me with all honesty that she just can't give me what I deserve at the moment. She just doesn't want an official relationship right now, so no commitment but she doesn't want to break-up with me. Since that moment I thought about NC and all the other things mentioned in other threads. But it's so hard not to call or text her. I really struggle with it. I want to give her room and I'm preparing myself for a potential break-up, but I just can't seem to except it. Just the thought of some other guy ever kissing her, kills me inside. It's like a stab into the heart. Now, I'm not saying she is seeing anyone right now, as she told me that this is not very easy on her too. We talk very rarely now and our conversations are short. I just didn't see it coming. How did we get from being incredibly happy together to barely talking to each other. I'm just really frustrated and although I try to keep myself occupied with other things, I want her to be a part of me. I just don't know what to do or feel, as I'm in the denial stage. I don't want to accept this ever happened. Not the most mature thing to do, but I just can't help it. :(

Link to post
Share on other sites

hey i can't really advise you as i am far from an expert on getting them back..

 

i can express my support though and wish you the best in your times of heartache..

Link to post
Share on other sites
she told me she wants time for herself right now. She has a very busy work life and is about to move in her own apartment.

 

Any time a woman says she wants time to herself, that means it's all over. Trust me. Her being busy has absolutely NOTHING to do with how she feels for you. She's moving out on her own, so she wants to know what it's like to be single, and bring guys home. Sounds harsh, but women can be harsh

 

 

she told me with all honesty that she just can't give me what I deserve at the moment. She just doesn't want an official relationship right now, so no commitment but she doesn't want to break-up with me.

 

 

What this means is she doesnt want you to vanish completely, she wants to keep you on a string. She emphasizes no commitment, because she wants to be able to flirt/makeout/bang guys without her feeling like she's cheating on you. But she expects you to be there waiting IF she decides to take you back.

 

We have another cake-eater on our hands folks..

 

 

Just the thought of some other guy ever kissing her, kills me inside. It's like a stab into the heart. Now, I'm not saying she is seeing anyone right now, as she told me that this is not very easy on her too.

 

Dude, I know all too well about that. Visuals like that used to keep me awake at night, and I wouldnt wish that anguish on my worst enemy.. I honestly wouldnt.. Don't listen to her crap about it not being easy.. it's not easy for her to break your heart (which is what she means.. not the actual break up) But she's doing a good job in decreasing contact with you.

 

You have to go NC. I know this hurts more than anything, but u have to prepare, and set yourself up for the high chance that she may not come back. No phone calls, texts, emails, nothing. You WILL hear from her again, cause she's gonna wonder where you are, and she'll want to keep you on the leash.. make HER decision FINAL. Take time to get over her, detach, and you'll meet someone that wants to be with you, and you only.. whether she's moving into a new place or not.

 

Good luck man

Link to post
Share on other sites
  • Author

We have another cake-eater on our hands folks..

 

You do. I called her just now and we talked. She just wants to remain friends. I'm completely devastated. I can't believe this is happening.

 

You have to go NC. I know this hurts more than anything, but u have to prepare, and set yourself up for the high chance that she may not come back. No phone calls, texts, emails, nothing. You WILL hear from her again, cause she's gonna wonder where you are, and she'll want to keep you on the leash.. make HER decision FINAL. Take time to get over her, detach, and you'll meet someone that wants to be with you, and you only.. whether she's moving into a new place or not.

 

You are right. The weird thing is, I knew from the start that would've been the right thing to do, but heart and mind were not on the same page. It's so hard...I'm at a loss of words right now. Thanks for the advice tho.

Link to post
Share on other sites

I called her just now and we talked. She just wants to remain friends. I'm completely devastated. I can't believe this is happening.

So she wants to be friends because she has some things going on in her life? Did she tell you what they were? Do you think her reasons are solid ones or is she just giving you an excuse?

Link to post
Share on other sites
How did we get from being incredibly happy together to barely talking to each other.

 

You are definetly not alone with this. I think this is one of the biggest things that most of us struggle to understand. It's like a big invisible wall and blam.. suddenly everything's changed. Chin up though my man, here's to better days.

Link to post
Share on other sites
  • Author

So she wants to be friends because she has some things going on in her life?

 

Exactly. She works over 60 hours a week and is about to move out for the first time in her life by herself.

 

Did she tell you what they were?

 

She said she can't give me what I want from her right now.

 

Do you think her reasons are solid ones or is she just giving you an excuse?

 

I don't know at this point. Right now I'm just in denial and hate the world.

 

You are definetly not alone with this. I think this is one of the biggest things that most of us struggle to understand. It's like a big invisible wall and blam.. suddenly everything's changed. Chin up though my man, here's to better days.

 

Thanks, I know I'm not alone. I talked to my dad just now and he always helped me to cope well. But nonetheless, it hurts more than anything right now. It'll take a while for me to get over this. Thanks for the chin's up. I know there will be better days but I always thought they were with her.

Edited by Dolorian
Link to post
Share on other sites
×
×
  • Create New...