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Past events making relationships difficult


x Amy x

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About 2 years ago I went through a massive trauma involving physical violation. Ever since I have found it hard to trust anyone, and no matter how much I am re-assured I still believe that someone is going to leave or hurt me. I have recieved months of counselling and I'm on medication for panic attacks/ depression. I have found it extremely difficult to stay with anyone longer than a couple of months and I am easily scared away, especially if my already insecure nature is threatened by other women. It can be as simple as my other half getting female attention that he won't shake off.

The reason for this post is because I am with a lovely man who I have actually fallen in love with, impossible as I thought it would be, but he has minor aggression issues which he has said he will sort out, but hasn't made any progress as yet. We have been together for a long time for me and have lived together, but I have found myself not being able to trust him anymore, and communicate with him. He hasn't done anything to make me feel like this other than the aggressiveness making me feel unable to confide in him anymore.

 

I really want this to work but I am totally stuck in a rut about how to move forward from here!

 

Please help!

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About 2 years ago I went through a massive trauma involving physical violation. Ever since I have found it hard to trust anyone, and no matter how much I am re-assured I still believe that someone is going to leave or hurt me. I have recieved months of counselling and I'm on medication for panic attacks/ depression. I have found it extremely difficult to stay with anyone longer than a couple of months and I am easily scared away, especially if my already insecure nature is threatened by other women. It can be as simple as my other half getting female attention that he won't shake off.

The reason for this post is because I am with a lovely man who I have actually fallen in love with, impossible as I thought it would be, but he has minor aggression issues which he has said he will sort out, but hasn't made any progress as yet. We have been together for a long time for me and have lived together, but I have found myself not being able to trust him anymore, and communicate with him. He hasn't done anything to make me feel like this other than the aggressiveness making me feel unable to confide in him anymore.

 

I really want this to work but I am totally stuck in a rut about how to move forward from here!

 

Please help!

 

I think if this man loves you, then he'll be willing to go to some counselling with you. Given your past (which I assume you've told him about) - he should be OK with sitting down and hashing out exactly what will be acceptable, and what won't, in your relationship.

 

Trust is tough - but it's 150% necessary to move forward with any kind of a mutual loving relationship.

 

Best of luck, and let us know how it goes.

 

SF

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