New years, how hard was that :(

[Unnamed]

Ex of six years, split up four months ago - she gets a new bloke two weeks later and I've been doing NC for a month and a half now.

 

Well anyway last night as I'm standing outside the bar having a cigarette with mutual friends she turns up with him - wishes everyone happy new year and I just bow my head as I didn't know what to say. I did the same as I walked past her to go outside again - just bowed my head and carried on but I had to spend most of the night watching them hugging over in a corner while trying to look like I don't care.

 

This is the girl that has been asking friends constantly what I'm doing, where I am - and would always speak to me on MSN before I blocked her - purely because I hadn't seen them together at that point.

 

My question is: does anyone think I did the right thing? I want to be pleasant and everything but I feel like a complete fool if she thinks I'm gonna be ok with her turning up with this guy and expecting me to be ok with it?

 

I just guess I'm still really hurting over it and last night seeing her with this guy on new years and knowing she was over there with someone else is a pain that I wouldn't wish on anyone - all while trying to look happy

[s_n_d]

I cant even begin to imagine your pain right now..

*hug*

I think you did the right thing. What else COULD you do considering she came with her bf.

I know its hard. I think I would have just left if I saw my ex with another girl. It would just have been WAY too hard for me to handle.

[Unnamed]

Thank you - I've been beating myself up because I thought next time I see her I'm gonna smile, be polite but act like I don't care. Being confronted in a doorway new years eve I felt cornered and it took my breath away. I didn't know what to do or say - really horrible.

 

As said, I wouldn't wish what I felt last night on anyone - seeing them all happy and hugging, people taking pictures of them and mutual friends having to flit in-between groups. The worst thing was knowing when the new year rang in they would obviously be hugging or kissing - that's when I had to run outside.

 

This was the girl I was supposed to be taking to New York for Xmas and proposing - life has a harsh way of really kicking you when you are down doesn't it?

 

I just wish I could stop thinking or caring about her - it's been four months and is still no easier

[child_of_isis]

In all likelihood, it hurt her as much as it did you.

 

Being with someone new doesn't take the pain away. 6 years of history will win out every time.

 

I can almost be you are the first thing she thinks of when her feet hit the floor in the morning.

 

That being said...I'm sorry you had to go through it.

[s_n_d]

Thank you - I've been beating myself up because I thought next time I see her I'm gonna smile, be polite but act like I don't care. Being confronted in a doorway new years eve I felt cornered and it took my breath away. I didn't know what to do or say - really horrible.

 

As said, I wouldn't wish what I felt last night on anyone - seeing them all happy and hugging, people taking pictures of them and mutual friends having to flit in-between groups. The worst thing was knowing when the new year rang in they would obviously be hugging or kissing - that's when I had to run outside.

 

This was the girl I was supposed to be taking to New York for Xmas and proposing - life has a harsh way of really kicking you when you are down doesn't it?

 

I just wish I could stop thinking or caring about her - it's been four months and is still no easier

 

Yeah so true. I still love him as much as i did when we were together. And its only been two months since the breakup. All this being apart feels like eternity.

I feel like Im going to be no better this year.

Every anniversary, Every important event that we celebrated together, All the memories are just going to come back and hit me in the face.

[Unnamed]

Yeah so true. I still love him as much as i did when we were together. And its only been two months since the breakup. All this being apart feels like eternity.

I feel like Im going to be no better this year.

Every anniversary, Every important event that we celebrated together, All the memories are just going to come back and hit me in the face.

 

I know how you feel, but somewhere deep in my heart I don't think I could ever take her back after this - does your ex have someone else in the picture may I ask?

 

There is messing around and making mistakes then there is the fact that she is with another guy, but she seems to ask about me through friends constantly. Am I moving home? Have I quit my job? Have I done my driving test? All things she wanted me to do when we were together and I'm doing now - it's so confusing.

 

The anniversary thing is harsh - I was counting them off It was Halloween, Bonfire night, Xmas and New Years - all times when we were closest and I had to do it all on my own, thankfully they are over now.

 

child_of_isis: Your words were comforting, and I really wish that was true. She has made no attempt to contact me and as said the only time we spoke was on MSN during work hours, she always messaged me - I blocked her from that after I saw them together - it was just too much.

 

Six years is a long time, I've known her for 10 years and to just walk past her in a pub with my head bowed and say nothing was heartbreaking.

[sedgwick]

You did nothing wrong. You simply ignored her. That's just fine! Good for you for not saying anything to either her or the new guy. Good for you for not getting drunk and pouring your heart out to her. I think you did just fine. Nice going, and happy new year!

[s_n_d]

I know how you feel, but somewhere deep in my heart I don't think I could ever take her back after this - does your ex have someone else in the picture may I ask?

 

There is messing around and making mistakes then there is the fact that she is with another guy, but she seems to ask about me through friends constantly. Am I moving home? Have I quit my job? Have I done my driving test? All things she wanted me to do when we were together and I'm doing now - it's so confusing.

 

The anniversary thing is harsh - I was counting them off It was Halloween, Bonfire night, Xmas and New Years - all times when we were closest and I had to do it all on my own, thankfully they are over now.

 

 

No, he has noone in the picture at the moment. We were talking a little while ago..(We still talk ocassionally).. And he mentioned that he isnt looking for anyone anytime soon. Hes not that kind of a man. Before we met, He hadnt dated anyone for a year and a half. Hes been hurt alot by his other exs in the past..Cheated on.. Some of his exs left him for his friends.. etc..

[so_sad]

Unnamed, I think you absolutely did the right thing.

I dread running into my ex, and I know it's going to happen sooner or later.

Take care.

[wowIlose]

Your a lot stronger than you think friend. Since I am in a similar situation I do know some of that pain and like yourself do not wish it on anyone as I would rather take a kick to the balls than feel what you must have been feeling when you saw them together in reality.

 

Stay strong man!

[Unnamed]

A small update on this situation for anyone that cares

 

As said we have mutual friends and one of them had been speaking to my ex on MSN asking her about new years eve, who was out etc. My ex mentioned we bumped into each other and reiterated that I just bowed my head; she didn't know what else to do or say. She also mentioned that I didn't make eye contact with her all night and that it was a bit uncomfortable.

 

Fair enough but then she tells our friend that she didn't know whether to come over and chat to me as everyone has been telling her I'm absolutely fine (which is a bonus), but she then she says she did want to come and chat to me, didn't know what to do, saying she was gonna send me a new years text but didn't know if I had the same phone or if it would be a good idea - basically talking but also fishing for answers my friend said.

 

I'm not reading too much into this at all and just assume she wanted to see how I was - but it makes you realise how confusing things can be and what she thinks she would accomplish seeing that I had ignored her.

 

Maybe she's just naive, but after crushing my heart what does she expect? I'm still recovering from that horrible night and still think I'm in shock, it really can't be described

[s_n_d]

A small update on this situation for anyone that cares

 

As said we have mutual friends and one of them had been speaking to my ex on MSN asking her about new years eve, who was out etc. My ex mentioned we bumped into each other and reiterated that I just bowed my head; she didn't know what else to do or say. She also mentioned that I didn't make eye contact with her all night and that it was a bit uncomfortable.

 

Fair enough but then she tells our friend that she didn't know whether to come over and chat to me as everyone has been telling her I'm absolutely fine (which is a bonus), but she then she says she did want to come and chat to me, didn't know what to do, saying she was gonna send me a new years text but didn't know if I had the same phone or if it would be a good idea - basically talking but also fishing for answers my friend said.

 

I'm not reading too much into this at all and just assume she wanted to see how I was - but it makes you realise how confusing things can be and what she thinks she would accomplish seeing that I had ignored her.

 

Maybe she's just naive, but after crushing my heart what does she expect? I'm still recovering from that horrible night and still think I'm in shock, it really can't be described

 

Im still in shock aswell.. after two months.