wintercs Posted July 16, 2006 Share Posted July 16, 2006 It's been 3 weeks since my butt has been thrown to the curb (not litterally, of course). After what seemed like an eternity of suffering and missing her, I've emerged and have actually started to take some steps forward in the healing process. My problem is that there is still a noticeable part of me that misses this girl like crazy and causes me some periods of sadness (not crying, just feeling depressed and all that). I guess this is normal, but I'm not a relationship expert and havne't had many relationships with women. To be honest, and I don't mean this to be an insult, but I just can't stand most women. It takes a very special one for me to invest myself in a relationship and so maybe I was more attached to this one than I previously thought. Anyway, to get to the point, what advice can you give me to help propel me in the right direction in stead of regressing into some kind degenerate wuss. Part of me thinks that it's possible that maybe she might want to meet up in the middle (she's from VA, i'm from PA) and if she does ask me about that, I can't imagine what kind of awful schism that deliberation would cause. Thanks in advance... Link to post Share on other sites
westernxer Posted July 16, 2006 Share Posted July 16, 2006 If one half is still in pain, it means you're not over it yet. Half is HUGE. Three weeks is nothing. Link to post Share on other sites
gfto Posted July 16, 2006 Share Posted July 16, 2006 sounds like you're on track. I would suggest getting as many new phone numbers as you possibly can. Link to post Share on other sites
Winfield Posted July 16, 2006 Share Posted July 16, 2006 Thinking of "what if's" only leaves you hanging onto remote hopes. She "possibly" "might" want to meet in the middle? Put the scenario into perspective - she might want to meet or she might not (chances are though, if she dumped you, she probably won't) - so why not concentrate on the things which will definitely happen, and deal with the "what if's" if and when they occur? I realise it's easy to think of what might happen in the future (hands up, I've been guilty of that too)...but it doesn't do you any favours. You go through a scenario in your head a million times, thinking "I'll say this" or "I'll say that"...then, in the end, the situation either 1) doesn't happen as you'd thought; or 2) doesn't happen at all! See, it's a waste of time... Only you can make the changes to improve your life - so what better time to start than now? You'll get there - good luck! Link to post Share on other sites
Author wintercs Posted July 17, 2006 Author Share Posted July 17, 2006 Thanks for your insights. Today I was doing well, actually had my spirits high, but then I was surfin around and came across her myspace. I looked at her pics and saw that she had uploaded a few pics of her and this dude (her friend, i guess)...ok so whatever, they're friends, she's allowed to have friends. well i check this dude's myspace and she posted a comment on there...she isn't one to put comments up..in fact she usually doesnt comment at all.....and he's listed as her second "best myspace friend"...kind of suprising because I wouldnt think that she would find this guy attractive but she must...what do you think??? but wtf, she told me when she dumped my ass that "there are no other guys and certainly there are no other guys around here"... as you can tell, this has put me in a tailspin and I feel like I lost all progress. the pain is real and fresh and i want to reach out to her..but i know i can't and that would ruin me. believe it or not, even though i'm in so much pain right now, i would do it all over again - our relationship, that is. she brought the best out in me and i was so happy...and we had something special.....it just came at a bad time....i'm hopeful that one day our paths will cross again. i'm doing my best to go out and meet new people, but i know i'm not even close to 100%....i'm not really interested right now in starting a new relationship, but i would like to meet new girls, i mean that is fun when you get to be flirtatious with em and stuff i know i'm sounding really pathetic right now and i apologize if i'm one of "those guys," but i am really feeling low and feel so alone without her. and try as i may, i just cannot stop thinking about her. this sucks so much...it's hard to think that the sun will ever shine on me again...i mean i know that, in all probability, it will, but it's just extremely hard to be positive right now... Link to post Share on other sites
morphius Posted July 17, 2006 Share Posted July 17, 2006 Thanks for your insights. Today I was doing well, actually had my spirits high, but then I was surfin around and came across her myspace. I looked at her pics and saw that she had uploaded a few pics of her and this dude (her friend, i guess)...ok so whatever, they're friends, she's allowed to have friends. well i check this dude's myspace and she posted a comment on there...she isn't one to put comments up..in fact she usually doesnt comment at all.....and he's listed as her second "best myspace friend"...kind of suprising because I wouldnt think that she would find this guy attractive but she must...what do you think??? but wtf, she told me when she dumped my ass that "there are no other guys and certainly there are no other guys around here"... as you can tell, this has put me in a tailspin and I feel like I lost all progress. the pain is real and fresh and i want to reach out to her..but i know i can't and that would ruin me. believe it or not, even though i'm in so much pain right now, i would do it all over again - our relationship, that is. she brought the best out in me and i was so happy...and we had something special.....it just came at a bad time....i'm hopeful that one day our paths will cross again. QUOTE] This is why it is so detrimental (SP?) checking out our ex's myspace, hacking in to their e-mail accounts etc... Don't do it! All it does as you said, puts us in a tailspin, brings all the s**t feelings back. It's hard to just skip on to a new page if you just happen to come across theirs, but we need to be strong. Stay away from her myspace dude! It sounds like you were doing well, dont let this small setback drag you back into that place where you dont wanna be. Link to post Share on other sites
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