johnlucas Posted June 21, 2006 Share Posted June 21, 2006 Reading these posts on this board & the topics therein I've come to a discovery. What we call 'Love' is not real. It's just chemical runs in the brain & body. Seeing the fickleness yet craving for the many elements all bundled up in the word 'love' (such as lust, infatuation, etc.) only SOLIDIFIES this discovery. REAL care & concern exists between Parent & Child & to a lesser extent between Friends. But between Lovers? No. That bond is always temporary. It's like a substance in the system that only has a limited time effect. And once it's gone you need another fix. This is how marriages suddenly fall out of love regardless of what the other spouse does & why there are so many human chess games played in attracting mates. This is why people cheat on each other regardless of value of mate & why drama enhances the feelings called 'love'. The reason for the 7-year itch & all that. Why even those who have come together to have children are not guaranteed to stay together. This is why good sex (a drug rush itself) is needed to maintain quality unions. It's like crackheads/cokeheads & heroin addicts. Like meth users & X-heads. Just like smokers & alcoholics. Ganja-afficionados & hashish connoisseurs. Yeah it's just like that. They need someone who stimulates those natural chemicals in the brain that gives them these feelings. Drugs always alter the body & give side effects. This is where butterflies come from. A mild sickness brought by the drug. Adrenaline rushes operate on the same principle. These guys who do these dangerous & crazy things just to feel a rush of chemicals flowing through the brain. Just a drug addiction. This is why adrenaline rushes get addicting to those who do these type of activities. Just like love rushes. Between man & woman there IS no such thing as true love defined as virtually unconditional care & concern. There's always conditions when it comes to partners & lovers. And if the condition is not met (if the drug wasn't supplied) then the bond breaks & all the fashions of separation take place. The people who stay together for long periods are either TRUE FRIENDS and/or two people who's timing match so well that each get a regular drug rush from each other before withdrawal sets in. Ha. Wow. I can't believe it's always been this simple. They'll never win the war on drugs. Drugs either body made or synthetic is basically what human desire. They have to feel a rush & they have to get a feeling. They need their buzz one way or another. Some buzzes cause harm to the function of the body. This explains the frequent brain damage I see in posters here who went through a breakup or has a mate cheating on them or in infatuation with some new person who walked along. Brain damage caused by the love buzz. Sometimes repairable & sometimes not. Drug addiction. There is no difference. Choose your poison wisely, everybody. Make sure you get more out of it than it gets out of you. John Lucas Link to post Share on other sites
Outcast Posted June 21, 2006 Share Posted June 21, 2006 Googly 'oxytocin' and 'Helen Fisher' Link to post Share on other sites
rkman Posted June 21, 2006 Share Posted June 21, 2006 What we call 'Love' is not real. It's just chemical runs in the brain & body. Love is very real. The feelings associated to 'love' are just that, feelings. Growing up, young people discover the difference between, love; trust, caring and commitment, and the importance or rather unimportance of the 'feelings' associated to situations. Feeling good all the time would be nice, then again, how would you know what good really is unless you've felt the hurt as well? Link to post Share on other sites
KittenMoon Posted June 21, 2006 Share Posted June 21, 2006 Love is not the rush. Real Love is the combined condition of lust, affection, trust, respect, friendship, etc. Link to post Share on other sites
Bullgator Posted June 21, 2006 Share Posted June 21, 2006 I have two comments: 1.) A question. How does the discovery that the things we feel are actually chemical reactions in the brain lead to the conclusion that those feelings are not "real". That's like saying the things we see are not real, because they're only chemical reactions in our eyes. 2.) The English word love describes different things to different people. The ancient Greeks had several different words for what we call love. Eros: feeling sexually aroused Phileo: affectionate love Storge: the love of a mother for a child Agape: self-sacrificing love Link to post Share on other sites
KittenMoon Posted June 21, 2006 Share Posted June 21, 2006 I have two comments: 1.) A question. How does the discovery that the things we feel are actually chemical reactions in the brain lead to the conclusion that those feelings are not "real". That's like saying the things we see are not real, because they're only chemical reactions in our eyes. 2.) The English word love describes different things to different people. The ancient Greeks had several different words for what we call love. Eros: feeling sexually aroused Phileo: affectionate love Storge: the love of a mother for a child Agape: self-sacrificing love This is great- we need more words to describe that thing called love! I used to break down attraction into physical, sexual, and emotional attraction. I could be attracted to someone physically but not sexually. Or emotionally, but not physically. Does this make sense? Anyways- love is far too general a word for the breadth of emotions it can encompass. Link to post Share on other sites
basscatcher Posted June 21, 2006 Share Posted June 21, 2006 Eros: feeling sexually aroused Phileo: affectionate love Storge: the love of a mother for a child Agape: self-sacrificing love The book I've been slowly reading speaks of these. "Care of the Soul", by Thomas Moore. Link to post Share on other sites
The slayer Posted June 21, 2006 Share Posted June 21, 2006 Interesting thread! I think the the drug is really Lust...but most of us confuse Lust with Love. Lust is identified as a sin so we tend to deny that we are confusing Love with Lust. Real true Love just isn't that exciting the kind of unconditonal love we feel for a parent a child or a friend is quite simple and pure. Love is what will hold a relationship together and Lust will make it exciting, for a relationship to work we need both. There is nothing sinful about the feelings and emotions Lust inspires, but like all the deadly sins it becomes destructive and damaging when it spins out of control and actions are fuelled or driven by it. Link to post Share on other sites
riobikini Posted June 28, 2006 Share Posted June 28, 2006 re: Bullgator: " I have two comments: 1.) A question. How does the discovery that the things we feel are actually chemical reactions in the brain lead to the conclusion that those feelings are not "real". That's like saying the things we see are not real, because they're only chemical reactions in our eyes. 2.) The English word love describes different things to different people. The ancient Greeks had several different words for what we call love. Eros: feeling sexually aroused Phileo: affectionate love Storge: the love of a mother for a child Agape: self-sacrificing love " On whether those intitial feelings are 'real' or not: I think the thing that proves those emotions is *time*. As for the ancient descriptions of the different types of love: In my own experience with 'real' love, there is some of each of those descriptions making up the emotion I most consider to be true love. With the Eros Type, -of course, I must be sexually attracted to my partner. With Phileo, there must be deep affection felt for him. With Storge, I am able to love him, care for him, and look after his needs to a sensible extent, in a similar way as a mother would a child. With Agape, (with reason and human compassion as a guide) I am willing to go further than the ordinary to support, defend, and fiercely protect someone I truly love. Thank you, Gator, for this opportunity to define and express more about the important components that contribute to the emotion of meaningful, romantic love. -Rio Link to post Share on other sites
copper Posted June 28, 2006 Share Posted June 28, 2006 Love is very real. The feelings associated to 'love' are just that, feelings. Growing up, young people discover the difference between, love; trust, caring and commitment, and the importance or rather unimportance of the 'feelings' associated to situations. Feeling good all the time would be nice, then again, how would you know what good really is unless you've felt the hurt as well? Absolutely. This year the biggest thing I have learned is that true love, lasting love, is not a feeling at all but an ACTION. Falling IN love is an feeling, infatuation is a feeling (or brain chemical, depending on whatever system you use to define love; it's all the same). It's all about sex, illusion, and hope. Don't get me wrong, it can be one of the best feelings possible on earth, and is basically essential for any relationship to begin, but it will not carry you through the day to day. But the truer, quieter, more profound, and slower burning love is the real stuff. It just about kills the lovely hollywood myth, but its TRUE and REAL and much deeper. Link to post Share on other sites
riobikini Posted June 28, 2006 Share Posted June 28, 2006 I think the emotion of love -any type of love- is real in the fundamental sense that you do feel it, and are aware of most of the effects and changes emotionally and physically. Perhaps, even spiritually. Whether it's *lasting, is healthy, and complements your life*, is, in my opinion, -where the real focus lies. Love is great 'lesson' material;it's life's best, and most experience-rendering tool zeroed directly on the heart for use in creating changes within the person, and subsequently, reflecting those changes in his/her life, and eventually turning out more emotionally wise and mature, pliable and compassionate people for greater purposes, -here, now, -and future. -Rio Link to post Share on other sites
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