starr3546 Posted January 30, 2006 Share Posted January 30, 2006 My ex of almost 3 months, called me last night, and asked me to meet him at the bar he was at. I wasn't in town so didn't see him. Then i called him this afternoon and said hi, to see what is going on. We talked for an hour and he told me that last night he was on a date, and that he pulled a dick move and pretty much split up from the girl at the bar. He said he wasn't into her anymore...blah blah blah. Then he asked me if i wanted to go out for coffee. I said ok...being weary as to his intentions....we had a clean break, timing seemed to be off....the break came pretty much out of no where, and he broke my heart when he left. Think of a picture perfect relationship...well that is what we had! Anyway i met him for coffee, and he kept telling me how there aren't any good girls, or nice people in the world. He told me that he wants to keep those that are amazing close...confusing?? no??...we talked for 3 hours with ease, and it was nice...He kept saying things like i am screwed up...i don't know what i want...i am lost...i am stupid...told me how amazing i was and perfect...told me that he was again retarded, and that everyone told him he made a mistake when he broke up with me. What the heck does that mean? Is he trying to make a path back to my me by doing this...i am so confused...o and he kept calling our get together a date!!! What is that??!!?? Then he asked me about how i felt seeing him...i was vague and told him i didn't know. He asked me if i felt uncomfortable, i told him no. He told me i was always fun and amazing....again confusing...then we left, no hug nothing...anybody have any idea about what he is thinking?? obviously i still care about him... Link to post Share on other sites
WindDrifter Posted January 30, 2006 Share Posted January 30, 2006 Just ask him. Wait for him to call again. Then ask him straight out. I don't want to play any games. You hurt me once and that was enough. What do you want? What are you trying to prove? I don't have time for this. When he replies tell him exactly what you want if he wants to get back together. Tell him your rules and whether or not you can be friends only or your want more. Just confront him. If her doesn't know then let him be. NC. Enough with the games. Cheers, WD Link to post Share on other sites
jen_jen_heartbroken Posted January 30, 2006 Share Posted January 30, 2006 Sounds like he's having second thoughts about dumping you. But the real question you need to ask yourself is if you're willing to give him another chance to break your heart again? Link to post Share on other sites
LonelyinOhio Posted January 30, 2006 Share Posted January 30, 2006 Trust me -- he's lonely. This is classic behavior of someone who has not faced up to the string of women he's had in his life, and now that he's alone for a MINUTE, it's much easier to face you and hope to get back in your life than it would be for him to finally, finally deal with the pain of the loss of a relationship, or relationships. You can trust me on this one, because I was that guy for a long time. If you talk to him again, and if he says he wants to try again with you, just do this: tell him you aren't certain about his motivations and you have reason to be cautious. Then ask him to call you back in two weeks - NC during that time - and tell you how he feels. You'll see more of his true colors then. I wouldn't do it unless he's proven that he's not acting on a whim. Link to post Share on other sites
salmagundi Posted January 30, 2006 Share Posted January 30, 2006 You need to be careful here (this from a guy). THere is a good chance that he misses you adn realizes what he lost when he broke up with you. No question. But dont get sucked into any stupid games with him. I worry because right now I'm screwed up too. I'm broken up, I'm depressed and lonely and missing being in love. And I still occasionally see an old ex. And we still talk. And I have the impression if I asked her out for a drink she say "sure...what the hell." And if we did go for that drink I'm sure one thing would lead to another. And I think that a part of me (the bad, screwed up part) might want that because when you're down, you care only about yourself and can justify using other people to fix the holes in you. I'm pretty sure I wont do this. But be careful that your boyfriend isnt looking for a port in a storm because you know that one obvious place to look is your old exes, eh? BE sure he's sincere...and be clear that you have no intention of rushing into anything with him. He needs to prove htat if he wants to get together he will stick around. salmagundi Link to post Share on other sites
Author starr3546 Posted January 31, 2006 Author Share Posted January 31, 2006 Ya i definitly don't want to rush into anything with him. I know he is confused, and i am unsure he knows even exactly what his intentions are. I am going to stick it out and see what he wants, keep the dates we have, innocent, no alcohol involved sorta things. I am def. not going to let him just waltz back in with out proving to me he realized he made a mistake, and no until he proves he appreciates me, and cares enough not to just break up with me again outta the blue! I had a feeling he was thinking about getting back together. Link to post Share on other sites
salmagundi Posted January 31, 2006 Share Posted January 31, 2006 As long as you go in with your eyes open and no the risks of getting involved and possibly getting hurt then go for it. I dont want to discourage you. just be sure you dont get burned again. Link to post Share on other sites
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