Getting Dumped Via Email, Should I bother to respond?

[Sher]

I had a first date with someone (I met online) during the evening and at the end of the evening he said he "had a great time; we should do it again; and asked what my plans were for the rest of the week/weekend?" I hadn't heard anything from him so I sent an email thanking him for the evening and letting him know that it would be nice to do it again. I didn't feel any type of sparks flying when we met but thought he was a decent guy so why not go out with him on a second date and see what happens.

 

He responded a few days later telling me that he "had a nice time but didn't feel any connection. Sorry".

 

Here's the thing: I'm okay with all that cuz like I said I didn't feel any connection either, but I would like to know if should even bother responding or if I'd be better to simply let it go.

 

Secondly, I don't understand why someone who doesn't feel a connection even bothers to bring up future plans and repeat several times what a great time they had and how they would like to do it again. If I'm not interested I simply say thank you, it was nice to meet you, take care!

 

Any thoughts or comment?

 

Thanks.

[tehphrank]

I wouldn't reply.

[blah1234]

I think guys always say "I had a great time" simply out of instinct. I have never really gone on a traditional first-time-ever-meeting-someone date, so I wouldn't really know.

 

Maybe there is another woman in his life now or something. Who knows?

 

Let it go. I'm sure he's probably not that amazing anyway.

[slubberdegullion]

I concur. Hey, you went out, had some fun, but since there really wasn't any "connection" or a promise of anything further, there's no need to drag this all out.

[Kengne]

I had a first date with someone (I met online) during the evening and at the end of the evening he said he "had a great time; we should do it again; and asked what my plans were for the rest of the week/weekend?" I hadn't heard anything from him so I sent an email thanking him for the evening and letting him know that it would be nice to do it again. I didn't feel any type of sparks flying when we met but thought he was a decent guy so why not go out with him on a second date and see what happens.

 

He responded a few days later telling me that he "had a nice time but didn't feel any connection. Sorry".

 

Here's the thing: I'm okay with all that cuz like I said I didn't feel any connection either, but I would like to know if should even bother responding or if I'd be better to simply let it go.

 

Secondly, I don't understand why someone who doesn't feel a connection even bothers to bring up future plans and repeat several times what a great time they had and how they would like to do it again. If I'm not interested I simply say thank you, it was nice to meet you, take care!

 

Any thoughts or comment?

 

Thanks.

 

1. Don't bother replying.

 

2. It's called fluffing - him telling you what he THINKS you want to hear, in order to not hurt your feelings - at that time. I mean, who REALLY ever says while on an actual 1st date "Geez, you know I'm not really feeling you? So - this is pretty much the last time we'll ever hang out."

 

But no one! People fluff - aka faking the funk - all the damn time.

 

Once I had a guy swear UP AND DOWN to me how I was the perfect potential gf, and how ours would be the perfect rel'ship and I was everything he was looking for - AFTER 1 DATE! LOL. That was funny. And then like a week later - he went to take a shower, said he'd call back right away - and I didn't hear from him till like a WEEK later. LOL. He disappeared again shortly after that, and we haven't talked since.

 

Given that I wasn't interested in him it was like water rolling off my back. I shook that dude off, and kept steppin'.

 

Do the same thing girl!

 

K.

[933KJL]

I mean after a date what do you expect "Hey, you know, as I look back, tonight kind of sucked, so would you mind calling a taxi for your ride home, and giving me the cost for your steak? Don't expect a phone call or an email from me because, well, I am just not into you." ????

 

No, you do the polite "This was fun" and move on.

 

Don't reply!

[JayKay]

This is reason #456720 why dating sucks.

 

 

Too many people spouting too much BS. And it gets so confusing!

 

Don't bother to reply. It's not worth the time it will take you to compose a bland, "Thanks for the great time and I agree the chemistry isn't there" kind of message.

[skeptik224]

Don't reply. Chalk it up to a good time out and move on. He's not worth it.

[Asometry]

I once dumped a girl via email with whom I had gone on two dates... We had an ok time, and I'm sure I ended both dates with something like, "That was fun, thanks." In my email I thanked her for the company and politely said that I didn't really see us going anywhere; she replied by saying she was happy to give it a try and that there were no hard feelings. I wasn't expecting a reply, but it was nice to hear that she didn't think me a total prick. It's your call.

[Sher]

I mean after a date what do you expect "Hey, you know, as I look back, tonight kind of sucked, so would you mind calling a taxi for your ride home, and giving me the cost for your steak? Don't expect a phone call or an email from me because, well, I am just not into you." ????

 

No, you do the polite "This was fun" and move on.

 

Don't reply!

 

What do I expect?... I don't expect anything other than simple - honesty. If I'm not interested in someone I simply thank them for the night and say "take care". I don't make future plans or references to same. I also don't tell someone how great they are and put it on thick. If one does not have anything good to say one shouldn't say anything at all (old saying). To me that's called "no balls" and to be honest it's clear that this guy isn't for me anyway so I have no problem with the behavior. It seems to provide a clear indication as to the type of person he is.

 

My instincts agree with all of you, however, I am also a polite person so I was curious what other people's thoughts were.

 

Thank you everyone for your time.

[riobikini]

Dear Sher,

 

It bothers you for one major reason: you were rejected.

 

No one likes to be rejected.

 

It makes you feel as if there's something wrong with you, -that you weren't good enough- or that you weren't attractive enough, -all those negative things.

 

You should realize that, chances are you weren't the first one he treated this way, either.

 

One of the other posters had it right: judging from his handling of this, he doesn't appear to be much of a catch, himself.

 

You'll go on to date a much nicer guy, in time, who'll have a more positive effect on how he makes you feel and how you respond.

 

After all, it's about the chemistry of two people, -not just one.

 

Choosing to date online people can be a precarious and notorious platform for auctioning off yourself to the most creative liar or emotionally abusive person under their pretense of searching for the 'forever' kind of love, -and is not for the naive, the fool-hardy, the faint-hearted, nor those who's feelings are easily hurt.

 

No matter how much information you have about your online date, you can chalk most of it up to being nothing more than horse manure.

 

Often what they say about themselves, or require as compatibility features in their description of their ideal date is only a fantasy of what they hope to attain or wish to become, -and not what they already are, or can ever reciprocate in equality.

 

They are shopping what they view as the 'meat-market', and will probably wind up with more failures than successes with dates, simply because they've lied more to themselves than to you.

 

For instance, your date pretended to be a gentleman.

 

Clearly, he was not.

 

Whatever it was that made him feel , in his words, 'no connection', shouldn't prick you too badly, tho, -it was probably more about his own inadequacies, insecurities, and shallowness than anything negative concerning how attractive, fun, and intelligent you are.

 

Don't let it drag you down, -and keep looking- there's someone who's waiting for someone like you, and more than likely, just the right connection will happen when you least expect it.

 

(Smile)

 

Take care.

 

-Rio