Dali Posted January 18, 2006 Share Posted January 18, 2006 Just found this site and curious for other people's opinion on things as my scenario is a bit complicated: I broke up with my ex a little less than 6 months ago and it wasn't the best ending. Our problems never were solved and I accept that our breaking up was good (in the end), but am still perturbed over the way it happened. He would always try contacting a past fling or someone new when we would mini-break-up and so when we broke up the last time (which I found out on-line through a change in his myspace relationship status) he was already talking to another guy. They apparently started dating shortly after. I was fully pissed for a month, then I really realized that our being together was a mistake and e-mailed him telling him I have no animosity and etc.... but requested he be out of my life and I would do the same.... Now under any other circumstances this would be fine, but we had been really good friends before the relationship and we had all the same circle of friends and thus none of our friends wanted to pick sides, so it has been a struggle to find a release of my anger and just annoyance without coming off as pissed still. About two months before, I thought my ex would be leaving my university as he had planned when we were together and so I made a bono effort to show good-will and added him on as a friend on a website (facebook..anyway, it was a big step, since he was still with that guy he talked to right after we broke up.... but i wasn't bothered) UNTIL, I found out he wasn't leaving and he would be back this spring. So I deleted him and was pissed again for awhile..which i have come to accept and realize he has to do what he needs to do and just accept what i can't change. Today, presented a deeply troubling scenario for me... I was walking back to my dorm and there he was walking to school and I chose not to divert to the other sidewalk but to just ignore him and make it look non-problematic... however, he made a hello and I kept walking with my ignore stance. At the time I didn't feel a bit bad, but the more I think about it I guilty and it may come off as very rude, which I don't really want to convey, but I don't believe I want to be on speaking terms with him. I know I am still bitter on how things ended and how he just jumped to another relationship - while I suffered with the pain and despair, and I believe this is what prevents me the most from wanting to be friends or even speak to him, but I don't hate him...just want him to be gone out of my life. Am I wrong to not try and make small-talk or be 'friendly'? Link to post Share on other sites
bluechocolate Posted January 18, 2006 Share Posted January 18, 2006 Am I wrong to not try and make small-talk or be 'friendly'? Not at all. Perhaps one day, after you've recovered from the break up, you'll have no problem being friendly &/or making small talk. However, snubbing the guy in a chance encounter like the one you described seems a tad extreme to me. A simple nod of the head or a 'Hi' said in his direction shouldn't be too difficult, should it? Of course, if he ignores you in such an encounter (which he might now do) then behave likewise. Link to post Share on other sites
honda12345 Posted January 18, 2006 Share Posted January 18, 2006 Am I wrong to not try and make small-talk or be 'friendly'? No. It's all about you now. He is out of your life. Do whatever YOU think it's best for YOU to move on. I am in the same situation. My bf broke up with me and I have a strong feeling that he will contact his past flings or new prospects to resume dating again :-( I hope don't know what I will do when that happens... Link to post Share on other sites
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