HoplessRomantic Posted January 11, 2006 Share Posted January 11, 2006 Well, she was with me again for 2 months, then he got out of jail and she left me again. In the last year and a half she has been with me more than him because he goes in and out of jail like a revolving door. So for the 5th time she left me to be with him. She was so genuine and promised me that this time would be different and infact hated Mike. We made love the day she left me for him and probably slept with him not even after a few hours when we did. I sit here and I want to ask God why he is doing this again to me? Why does he hate me so damned much to put me through this again? What did I do to deserve this over and over again? You want to know what hell is? Hell is having your heart ripped out over and over again. You wish you could just die, but he's not kind enough to kill you, he just wants you to suffer and feel the pain take over your soal... the dark shadow of broken love sweeps cold over you while it laughs in your face. You look up and ask it to kill you, and it replies... "Your not lucky enough to die". Why couldn't I just be involved in a car accident, it would be easier, faster, and I would enjoy it more. If there is a God and you are honestly there... please tell me why your doing this... what did I do? I have to know, because I am about to break. I dont want to deal with this any more, the pain is just too much to take. Please kill me and get it over with. Link to post Share on other sites
WindDrifter Posted January 11, 2006 Share Posted January 11, 2006 I know this might no help but according to dear president bush ... I know this saying in the south .. once shame on me ... twice ..?? .. ummm ahhh ohhh ummm aahhh mmmm ... you won't shame someone you'ed shame before??? Sorry mate only joking but hopefully you won't give this person another chance to rip out your heart because obviously she doesn't care about you. She doesn't deserve your heart and if it you "other" head making you go back you gotta get that under control. Take control back for yourself. Good Luck it isn't easy! Cheers, WD Link to post Share on other sites
Author HoplessRomantic Posted January 11, 2006 Author Share Posted January 11, 2006 Everyone keeps asking me if the sex is great or something, but infact sex is verry little if at all. Once a week if I am lucky. And I am faithful and never cheated on her. Link to post Share on other sites
FWIW Posted January 11, 2006 Share Posted January 11, 2006 Why would God hate you? He wants you to sort your life out and stop putting yourself through all this. She's not right for you - just give her up and give yourself a chance to find someone better. Yes it's tough, but you know it's the only way. Ask Him for help and He won't let you down. Good luck. Link to post Share on other sites
bigbrowneyes Posted January 11, 2006 Share Posted January 11, 2006 Hey Hopeless, I’m so sorry that you are feeling this way. God doesn't hate you. In fact He loves you. Remember, your steps were ordered by God before you were even born. God wants His will in your life. He always gives us what we need which is not always what we want. You keep choosing this woman, which is your will. Have you ever thought that she keeps going back to the other man because God knows that this woman is not the person that he created for you. How can God bring the person he created for you in your life while this other woman is consuming your mind, heart, and time. Of course my advice is to let this woman go completely. It’s time for strict NC. Heal your heart and prepare yourself for the woman God has prepared for you. Live your life each day to the fullest. Choose to wake up each day and see the beauty and joy that life can bring you without this woman in your life. Today is a new day and you need to claim your happiness. I know first hand how hard this is and how heavy the heart feels when you have to let the person go that means the most to you. You will get stronger each and every day. I’m not sure how strong your faith is but praying really does help you find some comfort along the way. You can do this. We are here for you to support you during this difficult time. Take care and God bless. Link to post Share on other sites
ReluctantRomeo Posted January 11, 2006 Share Posted January 11, 2006 In the last year and a half she has been with me more than him because he goes in and out of jail like a revolving door. So for the 5th time she left me to be with him. I sit here and I want to ask God why he is doing this again to me? What did I do to deserve this over and over again? If there is a God and you are honestly there... please tell me why your doing this... what did I do? I don't think God is doing this to you. She is doing this to you. And you are doing it to yourself - why do you keep letting her back when the pattern is now clear? Once or twice is fine, but it must be obvious to you by now that you're only the backup for when he's in jail. C.S.Lewis (author of the Narnia chronicles) described pain as God's megaphone to a fallen world. I learned a lot through the pain of Juliet's departure. You now have the same opportunity. You could start by asking yourself what makes you want to be with someone who treats you like sh*t. Link to post Share on other sites
CaliGuy Posted January 11, 2006 Share Posted January 11, 2006 God doesn't hate you. It's you that are doing to yourself because you allow her to do it. You give her control of your feelings and allow yourself to be hurt. Read my tag line. And FWIW, God never brings pain without something better in mind. If you are going through strive that means you need to get closer to God. He's a good father and wants the best for you, but that comes in having faith. Link to post Share on other sites
CLEO Posted January 11, 2006 Share Posted January 11, 2006 God loves you so much, thats why He let u know all her crap. He wants to open your eyes that she is not the right one for you. You have to brave enough to let go and give her up to get the best . just put it this way, if your hand hold things , you cant get other / new thing. Let it go... let all the hurt stop .. drop it .. .and you will get the better one... but you have to learn from your experience . Dont Give up ! you will find the right person.. if u r patient enough to wait ... Link to post Share on other sites
Clevelandfan Posted January 11, 2006 Share Posted January 11, 2006 I found out my ex is 3-4 mo's pregnant and she has called/e-mailed me telling me how miserable she is with her "friend" who she isn't going to marry cuz she doesn't love him and that she loves me and want's to get back together someday. What a friggin mess. How could she love me and create a child with someone else so quickly? I'll add the latest to my pathetic thread here http://www.loveshack.org/forums/t71927/ I didn't mean to hijack your thread Hopelessromantic,..I just wanted you to know that other people question if God hates them too. Hopefully your girl doesn't get pregnant,..cuz that realy complicates everything. Link to post Share on other sites
Ezydriver Posted January 12, 2006 Share Posted January 12, 2006 I sit here and I want to ask God why he is doing this again to me? Why does he hate me so damned much to put me through this again? What did I do to deserve this over and over again? You want to know what hell is? Hell is having your heart ripped out over and over again. Sorry, but I think I should be slightly harsh here, god hasn't done this to you, you have done it too yourself, I think you're rather foolish to have been with her 5 times, after she left the first, ok I'll give her credit, the 2nd time, why did you let her do it another 3? Please try and have some more self respect man. If god has done it to you, you're asking why? Well its so you'll learn, its a lesson he's teaching you, you've shown you're incapable of learning from it, so he's throwing it back at you until you do. Sorry to sound harsh, but you've only got yourself to blame for this one I'm afraid. 5 TIMES? oh pleeeeeeeease! Steve. Link to post Share on other sites
mSjENny Posted January 13, 2006 Share Posted January 13, 2006 I agree with bigbrowneyes god loves you and everyone I really dont know what to say but dont blame god for what has happen I know your goin through a tough time and you just want to believe god isnt there i have been there and i still am goin through problems but i know god is here and i blame myself because open your eyes life is great without pain there is no happiness there is someone out there for you just believe and take time to love yourself before giving love to someone else. i hope the best for you and dont give up faith in god. Link to post Share on other sites
LN8840K Posted January 13, 2006 Share Posted January 13, 2006 maybe you should change the tittle to " I have to hate myself ..I am convinced now " you have a rectal cranium inversion .... time to pull your head out if this is in fact a real problem that you post about, you might consider investing in some therapy Link to post Share on other sites
Recommended Posts