Karma22178 Posted November 22, 2005 Share Posted November 22, 2005 Hello... Here's my story. I've been with my boyfriend for 4 years this October, we have a house together, no kids, but have lived together for about 2 years. We've only talked about marriage once or twice, and he says it's something he eventually wants to do, but that we're just not ready. I don't really agree though, maybe not marriage right away, but at least engaged, and then 2 years from now maybe actually get married. That talk was about a year and a half ago, or so. I've left him once before because I was tired of feeling "used" because he hadn't proposed yet. I set a date to leave him if he hadn't done it yet, (Valentines Day 2006). If he hasn't proposed to me by then, I'm going to break up with him. I told a few of my friends about this, and today I talked to one of them and they told me that Andy (my boyfriend) flat out told them that I wasn't "the one for marriage." That I was too immature, and I wasn't the one. Andy tells me all the time that he loves me, and I unconditionally believe him, because I know he truly does. I love him just as much. But, after hearing that from my friend today, it leaves me totally confused. The friend that told me this could also me messing with me, I have no way of knowing. I can't picture Andy saying that, but again, I have no real way of knowing. Should I leave him now? Should I wait until February? Should I stick it out until he proposes?? And if so, how long am I supposed to wait? The house we live in is actually mine, I own it. But we picked it out together and we consider it "our house." If I make him leave, he'd have to move back in with his mother. It's hard to think of breaking up with him, because we have the last 4 years together, but I need to know that I'm not waiting around for nothing. Has anyone been in this situation? Is anyone IN this situation right now? Can ANYONE give me advice, please? I really need some opinions here, I don't know what to do. Link to post Share on other sites
MnkyGirl Posted November 23, 2005 Share Posted November 23, 2005 If you two have been in a relationship for 4 years you know communication is a big part of it. If a friend told you that he said that then why not ask him, if you trust and believe in him ask him if he said those things. Does he know you are giving him until Valentine's day? If you have been together for so long and don't want to throw away what you have had together then explain that to him, also explain to him that marriage is what you want. Although personally getting married isn't a big deal, it just ties you to each other legally. I think you need to decide if a piece of paper that says your married is worth throwing a relationship away for. If this bothers you so much talk to him about it, tell him how you feel and what you want in life and ask him if he wants the same thing and if he wants it with you...if not find out why and what he truly wants, if you two don't have the same ideas then it is time to move on Link to post Share on other sites
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