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I don't want my Ex back, but I don't want him to be so sad!!!


Breaks and Breaking Up It happens to most everyone at some point in life! Share your experiences!

Old 4th November 2005, 3:52 AM   #1
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I don't want my Ex back, but I don't want him to be so sad!!!

Just got a letter from and had a long conversation with my ex... I feel like **** because he is still so upset about the breakup after 5 months... he told me that he is afraid that he might have missed his one shot.... the thing is, he broke up with me and after being a mess for a while I got my act together and moved on, but then he wanted me back.... it didn't work out how he wanted... I wasn't comfortable staying in that "middle place" as he called it, so I had to make a clean break. I felt so rejected and depressed but now I feel relieved almost because I know it was the right thing and now I am with someone who treats me wonderfully... I don't regret what happened or where I am now in life, but it still hurts like hell to know that he is hurting so much... like I said, ti has been 5 months since he left and tonight was the first time he cried to me about it, that hurt! I wish that he could just see that it is ok, but the thing is that in many ways he was so wrong for me and brought me down and put me down but on the other hand it is going to be a long time before he finds someone who will be as good to him again, who will be as understanding and patient of all his quirks and still be smart enough and challanging enough for him... it took me 1 month to find someone better but I feel that it is going to take him a long time to find someone again... I am not being mean, I am being honest! I didn't say that to him, of course.... sorry bout this rambling post, had a cocktail to calm my nerves and now I am rambling.... had a bit too much I guess... this feels horrible. I love my BF so much and I don't regret my breakup, I just wish it could have been a clean break......
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Old 4th November 2005, 4:11 AM   #2
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Forget it. Don't feel bad. I was THAT guy. Sure I sometimes
pine over her, but she doesn't care and I accepted it.
You should do the same. You see, guys have a hard time
getting over a woman, especially when the woman breaks up.
Sometimes it takes a year or two. Women get over guys
easily, because its a built-in mechanism. So don't worry about
this guy, he'll be OK.
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Old 4th November 2005, 4:41 AM   #3
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Quote:
Originally Posted by fatcat
Women get over guys
easily, because its a built-in mechanism.
Thats a new one...I guess u learn something new everyday
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Old 4th November 2005, 6:47 AM   #4
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Quote:
Originally Posted by fatcat
Women get over guys
easily, because its a built-in mechanism.
Well in this case, to me anyway, the main reason why she got over him is that she found someone else. He hasn't found anybody yet.

I'm sure a lot of you can relate to that. When you can't seem to meet anyone, you get lonely and you miss your ex. But when you aren't having trouble finding another date, and realize there are many other great people out there...you get over your ex much easier.

This guy is just going to have to find another girl, or he will probably be hurting for a while. And it's been 5 months, he was the one that broke up with you in the first place so you did the right thing by moving on. Tough luck for him, unfortunately.
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Old 4th November 2005, 9:56 AM   #5
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Woah, your post just made me realize something... in a lot of ways it is kind of not PC to get over someone by being with someone else, and I think in many cases it can cause a lot of problems, but in my case it was exactly what I needed.... overall my ex was a decent guy and we had some great times, but he just didn't treat me as well as I deserved, was way too self centered and arrogant to really see or hear what I needed.... but I stayed with him for 3 years because he was my first and in many ways I had grown attached to him and almost this unconcious idea that he was the only person that would love me and treat me like this... so when I met someone new who did treat me right it was exactly what I needed to prove that there were other fishes in the sea besides my first love... it also eventually turned out that this new guy was the fish for me so I stuck with him, but before it ever turned serious just meeting someone who saw what was good about me showed me that I never needed to put up with someone who just didn't quite get it again....

I wish I had a built in mechanism like you said, though... it was pretty difficult and painful at the time!

Haha, I am kind of relieved to come back and read my post from last night to see that it was a good one, I got kinda tipsy and loud last night and I don't think drunk posting is a good idea!
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