stevestunts Posted October 15, 2005 Share Posted October 15, 2005 can someone explain what this person may be like??? i think i might have dated one for 4 months, and just recently broke it off with her. When it was good we were great together but when it was bad it was dismal...... someone help! Link to post Share on other sites
Author stevestunts Posted October 16, 2005 Author Share Posted October 16, 2005 anyone????... i really need some answers to this cus i need to know that i did the right thing. im soo confused cus i want her back!!!..ahhhhhhhhhhh! Link to post Share on other sites
kitten chick Posted October 16, 2005 Share Posted October 16, 2005 Hi stevestunts, there have been a couple of good threads on narcissists and lots of chatter on the board about them recently. Use the search feature and type in narcissist, you're sure to find a bunch of information. Not knowing your situation, if you think you did the right thing or it's even in question then you probably did the right thing. If you're not happy in a situation just get out with the possible exception of children involved but it doesn't sound like that's the case this time. Link to post Share on other sites
JohnJohn Posted October 16, 2005 Share Posted October 16, 2005 i think i might have dated one for 4 months, and just recently broke it off with her. When it was good we were great together but when it was bad it was dismal......someone help! Ironically, I broke up with a female narcissist that I dated for four months. She had me fooled for about the first three months and then the curtain fell and her true colors came through. The relationship ended with her leaving (although I wanted it to end myself) and basically there was no closure, which narcissists like to do on purpose to leave you hanging. Of course she did the leaving but somehow twisted it and put all the blame on me. How did yours end? I'd be glad to share my experience with you and help in whatever way possible. I read as much about Narcissism as I could. That helped a lot. Start there if you haven't done so already. Fell free to e-mail me as well. Link to post Share on other sites
Author stevestunts Posted October 16, 2005 Author Share Posted October 16, 2005 john john! dood, i read your thread and how shockingly similar can this be! I went through the same thing as yourself, the jealousy of freinds, the fighting over insignificant things, the blame on me and worst of all the lack of emotion that i started to get from her when i started to show more feelings and emotions for her. i thought to myself that maybe she was just high maint. and that i was just not used to it, i tried to please her in every way and would of done anything for her but i did not get the same in return. Instead i got "oh your so dumb", "thankgod your hot", "if it wasn't for the sex you'd be gone", "your such a dumb jock" ....i don't know, there were alot of things that were just wrong and just came out of the blue. so i got out quick. sad thing is i texted her last night to say i missed her and i want her back, but of course i did not get a reply back. i have to work with this girl in the same building so its bit hard to not run into her... and i think i was at my lowest today because i couldn't help my feelings last night. when i broke up with her it was just so odd cus she didn't say much about it and that hurt. maybe its her German bkgrd or something but she has just became so cold. give me the strength... ! Link to post Share on other sites
JohnJohn Posted October 17, 2005 Share Posted October 17, 2005 Yeah they are pretty similar. Mine never verbally said things like that. She was real envious of me and was so sensitive to the slightest criticism, even though the criticism was constructive...like me asking her to open up more and tell me more about her. She twists this as I am criticizing her about how she communicates. Shame on me for wanting to get to know someone I care about better! Be careful contacting her. She has power now and will most likely keep you hanging since she knows you want her back. The best way to get back at a narcissist, if indeed they are a true narcissist, is to show her indifference. Meaning leave her alone for a while. If you do talk to her, act like you could go either way, take it or leave it or don't care much. They hate that because they are like that themselves. Thus in essence you are "mirroring" her. It works, but still the best advice when dealing with a narcissist is ro run! Unless you want to lead a life of being totally submissive to her and having none of your needs met. You will be forever her servant and your self-esteem will erode over time. Run! It's hard. I've struggled, but each day gets better and I know I am better off getting of that roller-coaster" ride for good. Link to post Share on other sites
Author stevestunts Posted October 17, 2005 Author Share Posted October 17, 2005 thanks for your insight JJ... it helps alot mate. i think i made a big mistake last night by texting her and telling her i miss her, it was hitting the reset button......but im making sure that was the last time it was hit. Im running like hell from now on. Link to post Share on other sites
JohnJohn Posted October 17, 2005 Share Posted October 17, 2005 Im running like hell from now on. You're welcome. It is the best advice. Read up on Narcissism. It helped me comprehend what I went through. I think I went overboard and probably read too much, so now I am focusing on my life and not so much why things didn't work out. I suppose that's the next phase in the healing process........... Link to post Share on other sites
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