after 5 years he's moved on, but I can't

[juls28]

I just broke up with my boyfriend of five years. I feel terrible. I wanted to work it out but he said he didn't want to be in a relationship. I've supported him so much over the years. He was indesisive about moving to another city and I helped him move out because I didn't want him to resent me. We kept the relationship going and over the past year he kept mentioning that he never was able to date casually.

he's 25 and and I'm 28. He thinks there is something exciting going on with being single so I told him to just go do it and stop talking about it. I said he couldn't call me anymore ,though, but he still did, complaining about being lonely and depressed...he says one minute that this is just a break and then the next he says he's not sure about that so don't wait around. i told him I wasn't planning on waiting around.

It makes me so sad to talk to him and it makes him feel better. then I looked on Myspace and saw that he has listed himself as single and changed his picture. I was so shattered.So finally I got my phone number and email address changed so he can't contact me anymore. I'm in so much pain. I can barelt think or sleep or eat or talk about anything else.

thanks for reading. any advice is much appriciated.

[wahaha1]

time can heal your pain...

 

try to avoid going to places that will recall your memories about him...

make yourself as busy as possible to prevent any downtime to think about him..., you can think about doing volunteer works (such as hospital, Katrina support) and then you will realise that you are not poor after all.

 

God bless you.

[NTB]

your on the right trck getting your E and phone # changed it will take time but you'll move on and better things will come your way

[helena abadi]

yes, it's hard and there are probably few situations in your life that will ever be so painful. after such a long relationship, it will take some time to recover. expect to feel numb, anger, despair, grief - all of these in no particular order, for quite a while.

 

there will be days when you feel you are getting on with your life, then something may trigger a grief reaction and it will feel as raw as you did when you first broke up.

 

it is vital to redirect your life away from the pain, while still acknowledging the pain. by this, i mean allow yourself to feel the pain, but try to compartmentalise it. don't bottle it up, give yourself a limited time to feel what you have to feel, then get on with your day.

 

do open up new areas in your life, even tho it feels like an effort you don't want to make. exercise, keep a diary as an outlet for your grief, make a point of socialising with other people, nurture youself. take it one day at a time.

 

my thoughts are with you.

[ReluctantRomeo]

It makes me so sad to talk to him and it makes him feel better.

 

Exactly. You're right to cut the contact. At least for a month or two.

 

 

I'm in so much pain. I can barelt think or sleep or eat or talk about anything else. thanks for reading. any advice is much appriciated.

 

Aw, honey. This is perfectly normal after 5 years together. It does get better, I promise.

 

In the meantime, spoil yourself. And start to move on with your life with as much fun as you can muster. Give your life a makeover - exercise, various forms of self-improvement, bond with friends.

 

For what it's worth, there's at least a 50% chance he'll try to come back at some point. Use no contact as a chance to pull yourself together and be in a better position to decide if and how to respond.

[Jayhawks]

You're doing all the right things to limit contact with him. If he wants to be single again there is nothing you can do, as much as it sucks to admit that.

Your pain is felt by all here as we have all been is your shoes. It just takes a good attitude about yourself and time to figure out that he was not worth your love or attention. The end of a relationship can be a real depressing time but it can also open up so many possibilities for the future

Let your heart heal and then you will see the future for you.

[gevoraksix]

Im going through a similar situation,ending a 3year relationship.

Still mourning ,you cant have a person in your life that long and just"get over it".

Time will help ,keeping busy,and taking extra good care of you.

And smart to change telephone and email.

Think of what is best for you ALWAYS.

Remember that if someone wants to be with you - they will.

It's that simple.

 

 

 

 

 

"Sometimes when I feel like killing someone, I do a little trick to calm myself down. I'll go over to the persons house and ring the doorbell. When the person comes to the door, I'm gone, but you know what I've left on the porch? A jack-o-lantern with a knife stuck in the side of it's head with a note that says "You." After that I usually feel a lot better, and no harm done."

Jack Handy