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I feel awful...betrayed in a way


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Hey Guys I Really Need Some Input On This Situation Plz Help

*john*and I Have Been Exclusively Dating For The Past 3 Years

We Met In College And Immediately Clicked (he's 25 And I'm 23)...we Lived Together For A Year Or So Until Our Graduation. Our Time Together Was Perfect, We Couldnt Get Enough Of Each Other And Spent Every Waking Moment Together. We Talked Abo0ut Marriage All The Time.....about The Best Age To Get Married..where We Would Live, Talked About How Many Kids We Wanted..everything!!! And Heeee Was Always The One To Bring It Up. Tell Ya The Truth The Idea Kinda Freaked Me Out, But I Answered Honestly And Gradually Grew To Love The Idea And Really Looked Forward To The Day When He Would Propose. Ok, So We Graduated - He Gets A Job In New York And I Move Back Home- To Central America. We Were Committed To Each Other And Wanted To Eventually Get Married So We Stuck To Our Guns And Worked On A Long Distance Relationship. He Havent Met Each Others Families Yet And When We Had A Trip Planned For Him To Come See Me...after Weeeks Of Planning And Organizing...he Backs Out....the Day Before He Was Supposed To Arrive. Then My Sisters Wedding Came Up..and The Same Thing Happened. Hes A Workaholic..and Always Has Been..a Perfectionist Even At School.....busted His A*s To Get Magna Cumn Laude. We Fiiiiiiinnaly See Each Other For My Birthday This Year...after An Entire Year Of Keepiing The Relationship Going Just By Phone And Msn. He Buys My Ticket To Meet Him In Miami Where We Spend The Most Perfect Week Together...at The 4 Seasons Hotel No Less. So, Coming Back Home It Really Hits Me. God What R We Doing?? WHO KNOWS WHEN I'LL SEE HIM AGAIN..ANOTHER YEAR??? He Has A Great Job, Mine's Decent, We Love Each Other....i Want To Get Married!!!! So I Bring It Up...maybe 3x. He Avoids Me Like The Plague For About 2 Weeks, And I Confront Him. He Admits The Idea Of Marriage...now...or Anytime Before Hes 32 Or 33 Scares Him To Death. Says Hes Not Ready To Give Me What I Want And Need. He Says Even Age 33 Might Be Too Soon. Ahhhhhhhhhh Im Soo Confused? WHAT HAPPENED TO THE GUY THAT WAANTED TO GET MARRIED AND SHARE A LIFE WITH ME?? WHERED OUR ROLES SWITCH?? Does He Not Love Me Anymore? We Had This Conversation Last Night...and I Said Well If Thats How U Really Feel..then Theres No Point To Us Dating Now Is There? AND HE AGREED. :( Long Distance Relationship For 8 More Years?? Ha Not Happening...hes Not Willing To Move Anywhere...says NEW YORK Is The Only Place Where He Can Get The Experience He Needs. My Parents Are Old Fashioned And Dont Want Me Being The One To Sacrifice Everything By Moving Anywhere Near Him. Is There Hope For Us? LONG DISTANCE And All..and No Near Future Plans With Him? Geez Its Not LiKE I Want To Get Married Tomorrow, But In 2-3 Years. He Says Thats Waaaaaay Too Soon. What Am I Going To Do? :(

Is There Hope For Us?

Ohhhh He Was Engaged Back When He Was 20. HE PROPOSED BECAUSE HE WAS AFRAID OF LOSING HER WHEN SHE WENT OFF TO SWITZERLAND FOR SCHOOL. THINGS WENT TO HELL, HE WENT THERE TO VISIT HER....AND THEY ENDED UP BREAKING IT OFF.

HE SAYS I MEAN MORE TO HIM THAN ANYONE EVER BEFORE....IF HE'S TEALLING THE TRUTH...THEN WHY WONT HE MARRY ME? AND HE WAS READY TO MARRY THIS OTHER GIRL YEARS AGO, WHEN HE HADNT EVEN STARTED COLLEGE???

PLEASE HELP :(

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Sorry that happened..

 

Honestly my best guess is this.. LIFE happened to your BF while the 2 of you were seperated by distance.. he discoverd other things and other people were out there.

 

This isn't to take away from you or to say you're not an amazing person, I'm certain you are... however IMO your BF is at a time in his life right now where he wanting to experience being single, and dating and looking around BEFORE making a decision to get married.

 

His willingness to marry someone else when he was 20 once again doesn't say anything about how he must have felt more for her than for you... IMO it says that in that time since thats happened, your BF has grown a lot and matured and come to understand that there is a difference between getting married for the right reasons (like you're REALLY ready to) and getting married for the wrong reasons (like you're afraid you'll lose someone if you don't)

 

At this point HE has agreed that there isn't any reason to continue the relationship... and I know that hurts you so much right now... but honestly it would only hurt more for you to allow this continue on with the hope he will change his mind one day.. LDR are hard enough when BOTH are committed to them.

 

Hang in there

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