Ex, other woman, and money involved!

[ByMyself01]

Here's a little backstory:

My ex was a great guy for the first 2 years of our relationship and NEVER asked me for anything until after Thanksgiving when he started giving me weird behavior.

 

After Thanksgiving he had become very distant. We used to see one another every Tuesday and Wednesday when we had off from work. Then between Thanksgiving and Christmas I hadn't seen him in a month. Then the times we spent together had gotten shorter and shorter after Christmas.

 

When New Years rolled around he told me he couldn't make it when we usually would spend every holiday together. I didn't think much of it until I ended up getting a hotel room near him since my Landlord needed to do work on the roofing of my apartment. He ended up not showing up and his excuse was that a snowstorm was hitting later that night which I didn't let it bother me.

 

So a few days before Valentine's Day rolls around and he asks to borrow $1300 because he had gotten in legal trouble and needed to hire a lawyer and get his car out of the pound. This was the first time EVER that he asked me for money. The day before Valentine's Day I lent him the money and made him sign a Promissory Note. Mind you, during this time I hadn't laid eyes on him since Christmas.

 

Then on Valentine's Day when we were supposed to spend time together, he basically fed me a few lines of excuses and I was angry, hurt and livid so I ignored him the whole day. The day right after, he confesses to me that he had been talking to another woman and that he was with her on Valentine's Day. He told me that she knew all about me and that he was confused. We talked it out over the course of a few days and I decided to forgive him if he was willing to let her go. He agreed, I thought that would be the beginning to fixing what went wrong. I even broke it off with him a few times after and he still insisted he wanted to work it out.

 

Yesterday he said he would pay me $800 so we met in Midtown. Mind you, I still hadn't seen him since the day I lent him the money. However, I still didn't see a peep of my money. He tells me that he left the money at home and forgot it, so I told him that I will go back to his house and pick it up. Then he reveals that he really doesn't have the money that he set up the meeting just because he wanted to see me. However, it all just doesn't make any sense to me. We were both off work but he refused to stay with me or go to my house to talk in private.

 

After the meeting, I went completely no contact but I still want my money. He hasn't contacted me either. This still leads me to believe that he is still seeing the other woman and that he doesn't want to work it out like he claims. We never officially broke it off but I'm sure no contact from one another sums it up. I really felt in my gut that he only came to see me to validate his feelings he has for the other woman. He probably wanted to make sure that when he was in my presence that he didn't feel anything else for me. I haven't been in a private room with this man in almost 3 months.

 

I just feel used and abused. Any advice on how to cope with the betrayal? It would have been easier to get over if he had just left, but he had to stick the knife deeper by asking me for money, lying and refusing to pay me back in a timely manner. He was still lying saying he had cut her off and that he is only distant because he is in legal trouble and stressed about it.

[happyhusband0005]

First lets just say forget this guy right now. Now that that is out of the way, what were the terms of the promissory note? It's small money but you need to get it back so you don't feel like you got totally used. I would say if he has not lived up to the terms of the note file a claim in small claims court and get a decision to get your cash.

 

Don't be a door mat and just suck up the loss. Small dollars or not I think that it is a little thing that will irritate your brain for a long time.

[ByMyself01]

The terms were that he should pay me back in full by April 1st of this year in the amount of $1300. And yeah he's forgotten. It hurts that he couldn't be man enough to tell me what's really going on. I just want my money and to be done with him.

[PegNosePete]

The terms were that he should pay me back in full by April 1st of this year in the amount of $1300.

Then on April 2nd you file a claim with small claims court. There's nothing you can do before that. He hasn't broken the terms of your contract yet because the date has not passed.

 

Why on earth did you lend money to someone who is quite clearly showing you that they don't want to be in a relationship with you any more? That was not a smart move at all. In fact you should never lend money to anyone EVER. People who can't get it from a bank because they have bad credit, have bad credit for a reason, and the reason is that they don't repay their loans.