187113ht Posted March 22, 2018 Share Posted March 22, 2018 So I am in a serious relationship with this girl for 3 years. We met at the University and hit it off from there. She's really a down to earth wonderful genuine person. She's never been with anyone before. I am 24 and she's 22 years old and we both live separately with our parents. Just recently I started noticing her scalp is more bare and its like that every time I see her. I know she's losing quite a bit of hair over the time of our relationship. She has visited the dermatologist and it doesn't look like what he recommended is helping. Just as I thought our relationship was going well I start to find her less and less attractive. I'm torn away right now not really sure what to do. One part of me really wants to be with this girl cause she's amazing but other side of me wants to break up and move on. At the same time I don't want to breakup with her because of the guilt. I took her virginity and I know she will be shattered if I leave her and I dont really want to break her heart. Also she put alot of effort to be with me and loving me unconditionally. We have talked about our future together and about getting engaged in the future. And because this I have this guilt trip that hangs over me. At this point I don't understand what I to do. I know people get cold feet during their relationships. I know it seems shallow but a woman's hair is really important to me. I have caught myself looking at other girls and admiring their beauty in my head or sometimes imagining to be with them. Link to post Share on other sites
ByMyself01 Posted March 22, 2018 Share Posted March 22, 2018 Just tell her to get a weave or wig. Hair always can grow back. Really? Something as simple as hair is causing you to think about leaving? Just wait until you start growing old with someone. 3 Link to post Share on other sites
ShyLove Posted March 22, 2018 Share Posted March 22, 2018 How much of her scalp is bare and where is she balding? Does she have a medical condition? I'm just asking to try to get a better understanding of why you are feeling this way. Link to post Share on other sites
HumanMachine Posted March 22, 2018 Share Posted March 22, 2018 Does she use minoxidil? Link to post Share on other sites
healing light Posted March 22, 2018 Share Posted March 22, 2018 You can lose hair for multiple reasons, but one of them can be nutritional deficiencies. There are herbal formulas that a qualified acupuncturist can recommend that are known for helping hair grow back in case she is open to that. I have a friend who took that route after losing a ton of her hair (she used to wear wigs), and now she can don her head in public. I would make sure that she is obtaining enough B vitamins, silica, selenium, iron, etc. in her diet. Perhaps a good trace mineral and whole foods vitamin supplement is in order. If she wears her hair tightly back or puts in too many extensions that are too heavy, she can cause her hair to fall out that way, too. One of my friends triggered traction alopecia by excessive extensions and caught it just in time so her hair ended up coming back in normally. So... just in case any of that applies to her, there are some solutions depending on what may be causing it. Link to post Share on other sites
Mac0908 Posted March 22, 2018 Share Posted March 22, 2018 Seems very young for a woman to be losing her hair. Is it genetics or is it something else? In any event, if you truly love this girl you should not leave her. Maybe have her try Toppik or Dermatch Link to post Share on other sites
stillafool Posted March 22, 2018 Share Posted March 22, 2018 Did she have a full head of beautiful hair before the loss started? I agree it sounds like a deficiency problem. If she is on any type of medication that too could cause it. She must feel horrible about losing so much hair at that age. I don't know what to advise in this case. I feel sorry for her but just because you took someone's virginity does not mean you should spend the rest of your life with that person. Especially since you are only 24. Link to post Share on other sites
Keats Posted March 22, 2018 Share Posted March 22, 2018 Horrible post. See what happens to your partner when she gets pregnant LOL You don't love her. Leave her. And deal with your guilt more appropriately, rather than string her along even more. 5 Link to post Share on other sites
preraph Posted March 22, 2018 Share Posted March 22, 2018 I'm worried why her hair is falling out. Is she a bleached blonde who has destroyed their hair? Is she malnourished? Is she a substance abuser? It's rare that girls get baldness young. I have one friend who has that condition, but even she only has a bald spot and thin hair otherwise. I suspect your girl has a health issue of some type and you should stick it out and see what it is if you care about her. If you only care about what she looks like, the sooner you dump her the better off she is. A wig or weave is what will solve your problem, but if this is something treatable, she needs to not do that or hair dye until she gets her hair back because those things will only make her scalp worse. Link to post Share on other sites
HumanMachine Posted March 22, 2018 Share Posted March 22, 2018 I'm worried why her hair is falling out. Is she a bleached blonde who has destroyed their hair? Is she malnourished? Is she a substance abuser? It's rare that girls get baldness young. I have one friend who has that condition, but even she only has a bald spot and thin hair otherwise. I suspect your girl has a health issue of some type and you should stick it out and see what it is if you care about her. If you only care about what she looks like, the sooner you dump her the better off she is. A wig or weave is what will solve your problem, but if this is something treatable, she needs to not do that or hair dye until she gets her hair back because those things will only make her scalp worse. Could be alopecia 2 Link to post Share on other sites
RecentChange Posted March 22, 2018 Share Posted March 22, 2018 One part of me really wants to be with this girl cause she's amazing but other side of me wants to break up and move on. We have talked about our future together and about getting engaged in the future. I don't have much advice beyond... do not get engaged or consider marriage. You will have much bigger obstacles to face as a couple in the future, and if her hair loss is causing you to consider leaving, your bond is not strong enough to stand the test of time. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Michelle ma Belle Posted March 22, 2018 Share Posted March 22, 2018 I find it quite sad that she can love you unconditionally but you can't seem to do the same. 4 Link to post Share on other sites
Penguin_hugs Posted March 22, 2018 Share Posted March 22, 2018 I suffer with diffuse alopecia. I get a general thinning of my hair- particularly at the front above my ears sometimes. It is triggered by stress- and can actually strike 6 months after the stressful event and take a further 6 months to start growing back. I've seen a dermatologist and there was no treatment- just be less stressed! I'd be really disappointed if someone broke up with me simply because of my hair though! I've usually just brought it up in conversation with dates and it has never been an issue Link to post Share on other sites
vickyp Posted March 23, 2018 Share Posted March 23, 2018 So I am in a serious relationship with this girl for 3 years. We met at the University and hit it off from there. She's really a down to earth wonderful genuine person. She's never been with anyone before. I am 24 and she's 22 years old and we both live separately with our parents. Just recently I started noticing her scalp is more bare and its like that every time I see her. I know she's losing quite a bit of hair over the time of our relationship. She has visited the dermatologist and it doesn't look like what he recommended is helping. Just as I thought our relationship was going well I start to find her less and less attractive. I'm torn away right now not really sure what to do. One part of me really wants to be with this girl cause she's amazing but other side of me wants to break up and move on. At the same time I don't want to breakup with her because of the guilt. I took her virginity and I know she will be shattered if I leave her and I dont really want to break her heart. Also she put alot of effort to be with me and loving me unconditionally. We have talked about our future together and about getting engaged in the future. And because this I have this guilt trip that hangs over me. At this point I don't understand what I to do. I know people get cold feet during their relationships. I know it seems shallow but a woman's hair is really important to me. I have caught myself looking at other girls and admiring their beauty in my head or sometimes imagining to be with them. You sound like a catch. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
SpecialJ Posted March 24, 2018 Share Posted March 24, 2018 You're 24 and have been together since you were 21. This sounds like an issue someone really young who has not yet experienced real life trials with their partner and doesn't have their priorities straight would have. You may consider breaking up with her. You may end up regretting it, especially if it turns out you really are incredibly compatible and you do love her, but I worry that if you don't break up then you're always going to have grass in greener syndrome and will just break up with her later when it's even more painful for her. Don't get engaged, as you're not ready to marry anyone yet. And don't stay with her just because you were her first. That's a terrible cop out and makes it sound like you feel obligated rather than want to be with her. Trust her that she can handle her own feelings as long as you're not disrespecting or mistreating her. Sometimes things just don't work out. Also, take one other thing into consideration. Most men go bald. You will probably start balding at some point. How would you feel if a woman lost attraction to you at that point? What would you want her to do -- put in some work to see if you can strengthen your emotional connection? Or just leave you for a less bald guy? Link to post Share on other sites
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