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2 weeks since my finacee dumped me....


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Ok so I am miserable right now. I found ya'lls forum and just felt the need to vent. My finacee broke it off 2 weeks ago. We had been dating for 3 years, living together for the last year and a half and had been engaged to be married for 6 months. She told me that she didnt feel the same way about me as she did when she accepted my marriage proposal. Then she said she didnt want to get married. I said we can postpone the wedding and maybe see someone for counseling. She said that I no longer challenge her and that I could not talk her into marrying me. I asked if if I were to ask her that day to marry me would she say yes and she said "No I would not". She then said I should move out and maybe we could start dating again. Of course I told her that if I move out I will be gone forever. She said then if that is what you have to do then do it. I left and am now living with some buddies of mine. She recently contacted a friend of mine to ask how I was, and then she sends me an email asking if I will get her wedding dress from my mother's house and bring it to her. I emailed back (i was rather drunk at the time, I know STUPID) exactly what I would do if I ever saw that dress and it was not pleasant. Since then I feel like I have a hole in my chest and I feel panicky and nervous. I talked to a mutual friend the other day, she called me to see how I was doing and she told me that my now-ex has taken to drinking quite heavily. Of course all of my friends say if I ever say another thing to her I am an idiot. Now I am just stuck. Everything seemed to be going great, and then she just ended it. The day before she broke it off we were picking wedding vows and discussing the invitations, now it is like I never meant anything at all to her. What should I do to try to get over this? I dont think I can ever forgive her for this but I am still feeling that special brand of "deep hurting"

 

And maybe some background -we did have a brief breakup at the beginning of our relationship and she is a divorcee. Her ex-husband was rather abusive to her and they were only married for 4 years. I never was abusive or anything like that FYI, if anything I have had friends describe me as being way too nice to people but I work in the banking industry so I am always trying to help people out.

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Bank your future on someone else... she wants a guy who'll abuse her, and you're not the type. Since she can't find one, she'll settle for alcohol instead.

 

Time to make that withdrawal permanent.

 

And keep your too-nice personality in the vault where it belongs.

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whichwayisup

It sounds like she has had a case of some really cold feet, wedding jitters - Or she realized she doesn't love you enough to be married. Either way, it obviously hurts - ALOT. I feel for what you're going through, that really does suck the big one.

 

Right now you take care of you. Let her deal with the dress. Let her pick it up from your mom. She has to face the music because SHE ended it, not you. (My best bet is, she'll get a friend or family member to pick up her dress as she won't want to face your mother.)

 

Maybe she will come back, maybe she won't. But right now don't count on her coming back to you. She made her choice, once somebody backs out like that, so close to the wedding, it's usually over. I dont' want to make you feel any worse than you feel now but don't get your hopes up.

 

DO you want a woman who doesn't love you the way you love her? You deserve that. Better to find out now than 2 months or so into the marriage.

 

She may have issues that crept up, due to her previous abusive marriage. Her choice has been made and you're forced to accept it.

 

Keep on posting and get those thoughts out.

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