Dreaming constantly of my ex

[joemesina]

Hello all, I will try to make this as short as possible, My ex girlfriend of a 7 year relation dumped me 16 months ago, the last year I have been trying to move on, It was very hard and painful because I wanted to get back with her, but she was very happy leaving her life, sleeping with guys and going to parties and clubs, for me things went very bad I suffered alot and got frustrated and also said harsh things to her what made me get blocked from facebook, and other social media.

 

After some time when I was moving on, enjoying my singleness, I started dating a new girl a couple of month ago, and things are going very well, she is very loving and cute, and we have a lot in common and she makes me very happy.

 

My ex has also a new boyfriend, she was seeing this guy sooner than I met my new girlfriend.

 

As we live in South America, we are in summer now, and alot of memories come to my mind from previous summers that I was with my ex, also very recently was her birthday and I wished her a happy birthday, but I didn't get any reply, I have to mention that my ex forgave me about the harsh things I said to her and I told her to be friends, she unblocked me from twitter and instagram but not facebook, but as life has it ways a day later I met my new girl and never talked to my ex again.

 

I have to admit I continue to stalk a bit my ex on instagram, and also I watch her stories from an anonymous web page so she can't see that I have seen her stories.

 

I know this is very bad for me to still do those things, but anyway now I am having dreams of her, but in this dreams she is not my girlfriend or anything I just see her in different situations and I want to talk to her on my dream, that is just it, sometimes my new girlfriend is on the same dream.

 

I want keep building my new relation with my new girl but I feel I haven't completely moved on from ex, I still have some feelings for her that I want for them to go away.

 

Thanks for reading any tips on how to deal with this situation would help.

[ikoro0003]

I am in your situation only mine has been 5weeks since the split. I am in the recovery and letting go stage for the last 4weeks, it has been going great. I hve analyzed everything and realised my ex was never gonna be a good mother or wife or make me happy cause i did all the work to keep her. I forgave 2 or 3yrs of cheating and she still left me cause she emotionally cheated. It didnt matter if i was around or not she still cheated. I now believe that she was never a good person to begin with cause her previous relaitonship ended with her cheating too which she never revealed to me. My advice to you, is take time to grieve the right way , and you made msitake of being friends. Dont be, she ended things iwith you and am gonna guess u re very forgiving. Yeah well this time forgive but dnt forget and dnt be friends. Also take ur time to meet someone new and open up to them about how u feel. A real soulmate will help u move on and nuture ur relationship but someone who doesnt give a crap will bail once they hear ur story. Dont compromise ur heart to anyone who will hurt u again. Make the decision and stick with it, ur a fcking man. Life goes on. Besides life is unpredictable and far long to live in regrets. She will one day live in regret. Do you, meet someone who will love you for the rest of ur life that is the best revenge

[joemesina]

Thanks for your answer, you must stay no contact, and try to move on , glad you are out of that stormy relationship, I feel your pain.

 

Is very hard to move on, but one must do everything possible to achieve happiness.

 

In my case my time to grieve has already passed, thankfully I never got to be friends with my ex, she treated me very bad, I used to hate her but not anymore, even I have managed to see her with her new boyfriend.

 

I am now very happy with my new girlfriend, she is a very wonderful girl, my problem is that I still have some feeling for my ex, I have dreams of her, I can live with those feeling until hopefully one day I wont feel anything for her.

 

Ps: My ex and I were our first loves of each other.

[Young mind]

I also had my breakup about 6 months ago and every now and then I think about her or dream, but the difference is I accept that they are just dreams and when you wake up, you face your day ahead of you, these are just memories which come and go and don't be mistaken she has the same, but she doesn't ponder on them like you do, but no one knows.

 

7 years is a long time so is 16 months, what have you done in those 16 months to actively move on,do you just sit and wait fr the emotions to go away?

I have a mate who also had a breakup recently from 7 years together but I see some progress because moving on isn't as passive as we imagine, although time is the essential factor, active steps must be taken, you know what you must do but you cling on to false hope.

 

Take that step today, play the 30 days NC game, block her and don't stalk , it's difficult not to look but you can also redefine how you interpret those posts, that helped me a lot when I looked at my exgfs 1 million posts after the breakup, it's just instagram, everyone posts their "happy lives"

[joemesina]

I also accept that they are just dreams and hopefully someday the last of my feeling for my ex will fade away, probably she has the same, but I dont care, I have my life to worry not hers.

 

7 years were along time and I cherished every moment I were with her, I have learned alot, I have grown us a better person, things happen for a reason.

 

Now after all this time I am happier, NC helped me alot to heal, its difficult and painful, but it gets better, now I will concentrate on my new girl and leave that past were it should be.

[carolynsch]

Hi there, I think you need to move on in life after breakup and you don't need to think more about your ex.