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Heartbroken and lost


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devastateddude

I am 35m and was dating 30F for several months and it was great. Had first fight and suddenly she went silent. When I went by to see what was happening later she got really mad and said she might never talk to me again. Slowly we started making contact, but whole time she would say she was still pissed off at me every talk.

 

We had great talk one night and she said that we should go slow, but maybe we should go on a date again sometime. She said some things that weren't right about why she was mad at me so a week later I sent nice letter saying what was wrong and she texted me all curses and said I am stupid and don't know when to not stop talking about something. I said ok and maybe we go to this food festival date thing we had talked about and she said she was going, but would pretend I was never born if she saw me and cursed me out again and said that in future I need to be better or go away forever. I don't know what better is and she hasn't responded to any messages in weeks now.

 

I don't know what I did wrong because she said things wrong about me and I just pointed it out to say that wasn't true and please don't say this because it isn't true. Now she hates me for that? Or angry and it will be ok after calm down? I just hurt all the time now because I thought good now it bad again and I love her a lot.

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Sorry this has happened to you.

 

What was this fight about? What kind of things did you guys say to each other during it? I'm wondering if the topic or fighting method was a deal breaker.

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devastateddude

I don't know what fight was about really. She got mad and said it was stress from boss not knowing computers and making meetings long by playing with cords all the time so she took it out on me. But when I got upset she said that made me look needy and made her madder at me. I said it was ok because people get angry, but she stopped talking to me for some time and said she was still really angry at me.

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I don't know what fight was about really. She got mad and said it was stress from boss not knowing computers and making meetings long by playing with cords all the time so she took it out on me. But when I got upset she said that made me look needy and made her madder at me. I said it was ok because people get angry, but she stopped talking to me for some time and said she was still really angry at me.

 

If that's how it went down, you've just dodged a bullet.

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So just let her go away? I thought she nice before that time. :(

 

To be honest, I don't think you've got a lot of choice other than letting her go. She doesn't seem to want you at present anyway.

 

It's always important to remember that you'd only spent a couple of months with her. She was on her best behaviour during all that time, but when she relaxed a bit, her true self came out. A relationship with her would be like walking on eggshells with long periods of hatred.

 

(This is all written assuming that you didn't call her names or similar during the initial fight)

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devastateddude

No names called. I said why mad and why not talk and I like you but mad you won't talk to me. Then she say she might just never talk to me again and I cry and she get mad at me. Said I look like her stupid exes who cry too. She said they were mean and bad to her though and I was nice.

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ExpatInItaly
No names called. I said why mad and why not talk and I like you but mad you won't talk to me. Then she say she might just never talk to me again and I cry and she get mad at me. Said I look like her stupid exes who cry too. She said they were mean and bad to her though and I was nice.

 

Why do you want such an apparently unstable and nasty woman?

 

You can surely do better than this, OP.

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canadaman817

I'm sorry to hear about this. While we all do have problems and are flawed people, it sounds like she could likely be projecting her anger about other situations or past relationships onto you. Because of this, I don't think that you should take her attitude personally; it sounds like you have already been patient and caring. Is it possible you could inquire about it in time when she has calmed down, or will that likely just stir up another bout of anger? Has anything tended to calm her down in the past? Hoping for the best.

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