Jessie11 Posted March 16, 2018 Share Posted March 16, 2018 You can see my other thread for a run down on my break up. We were together 5 years and lived together for 3 years. We have been broken up for 2 months. Well my ex called me today while I was at work and said his friends are asking if we are back together as I put up a selfie of me and u could see him sort of in the back ground. You can barely see him in it and I had no intentions behind it except that I looked good in it and it was an old picture. I said who cares what people say just tell them no. And then I said more like it’s for other girls and he said yeah maybe. He said why does it matter if he is talking to other girls because I am talking to other guys and have a dating profile and stuff. He was fishing for confirmation from me because he would of heard this from his sister who I am good friends with and was over last night and I was telling her about this guy I was talking to. So now today I get this call, like he wants it known he is talking to other girls? Or am I reading into it too much? As he still has me in his profile picture on Facebook and all our pictures still up. So why would me putting up a old picture matter? He said other girls won’t talk to him because they think he still has a girlfriend. Well this made me so upset and for him to call me at work and say all this is horrible. I asked if he had a girlfriend and he was adamant he dosent. Well I got upset and he said he was sorry. I’m so upset right now. I can’t breath at the thought. How can he be so horrible after 5 years of love. Link to post Share on other sites
d0nnivain Posted March 16, 2018 Share Posted March 16, 2018 I don't see where he was horrible. You need to pay better attention to what the media types would call optics. Any picture with even part of him in it should not have a prominent place on your social media if you are apart. Even though you are still friends with his sister, you haven't put enough distance in your break up. You need to block each other off all social media and unfriend all his friends. Stuff like this is how social media creates unnecessary drama. In the "old days" before social media neither EXs nor their friends had such insight into someone's post break up behavior because the people were disconnected in all ways. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Jessie11 Posted March 16, 2018 Author Share Posted March 16, 2018 It was horrible to call me and tell me by putting up that picture other girls think we are back together. There was no need to say anything and whatever girls he was talking to he should discuss between themselves and not tell me what to put on my profile. He knows how heartbroken I am and to rub it in that he is trying to sleep with other people is disgusting. He cares more about getting with chicks then making me more upset. But I also think it’s convenient that after me telling his sister I’m talking to a guy he calls me the next day going on about new girls he is trying to get with. It’s like he is trying to even the score. I don’t want to play any games and he knows I would only be talking to someone else as a distraction from this hurt. It’s so childish this whole thing. We are broken up and obviously he would sleep with other people but to tell me that himself hurts so much. I didn’t ask him if he has he just felt the need to brag about it. I will have to block him. It hurts so much. Link to post Share on other sites
Romantic_Antics Posted March 16, 2018 Share Posted March 16, 2018 You still love him and have feelings for him. Talk to him! Have it out, fight, express undying eternal love for each other. "How can he be so horrible after 5 years of love!" Because he still loves you and you still love him. Talk to him. Ignore the advice of jaded narcissists who insist you maintain NC. They don't know ****; they don't know your situation. They're jaded narcissists trying to make you miserable. Have it out with this guy. You want him, but does he want you back? Figure that out and follow your heart. Just remember that people who recommend NC have no spine and think that abusing your ex with the silent treatment is a form of healing. **** all that and be a human being. Link to post Share on other sites
ExpatInItaly Posted March 16, 2018 Share Posted March 16, 2018 And this is why I told you in your other thread that you need to stop communicating with him unless it's to talk reconciliation. You keep saying he is horrible and cruel and yet you keep giving him access to you. Until you lay down boundaries, you are not doing much to help your situation either. His sister is not the person to be sharing details of your love life with. She might be a good friend, but she's also obviously reporting back to her brother. Surely you guessed that this information wouldn't stay between you and her? You need to put distance there. Let this be your sign that you need to cut contact with your ex, for a long while. Emotions are too raw right now, and it's doing nothing but hurting you. He wants to date others, you are apparently already trying to do the same. Whom either of you are talking to or seeing is not the other's business. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Jessie11 Posted March 23, 2018 Author Share Posted March 23, 2018 Well I lost my job on Tuesday. I made a mistake at work on the Monday as I had the weekend from hell. My ex told me he is sleeping with a friend of ours. We went overseas with this person last October so god knows how long this has been going on for. I abused him and her all day Sunday on messages and over the phone. I shouldn’t have but the rage took over and I wasn’t myself. I completely lost it. He has spoken to me all week saying what a **** person he his and he cares about me and has feelings for me but he can’t show it as he doesn’t want to drag this out. I honestly am at rock bottom. I have no way to pay my bills and to have to learn a new job on top of what I’m feeling is overwhelming. I have been applying for jobs so hopefully I get one soon as I do have a lot of experience. I just can’t see a way forward from here. I still love him so much and I truly can’t wrap my head around this. I truly believed him when he said this was forever and he couldn’t imagine being with someone else. I still have faith in what we had. I don’t know why I do. This is killing me. Link to post Share on other sites
d0nnivain Posted March 23, 2018 Share Posted March 23, 2018 I'm sorry you lost your job. Apply for unemployment in the short term to pay your bills. Also if you don't have one, make a budget immediately so you can learn where to cut & survive. Put your love life on the backburner right now. Your only priority is getting a new job. Link to post Share on other sites
HiCrunchy Posted March 23, 2018 Share Posted March 23, 2018 You seem to emotionally unstable to have any sort of communication with him. Block and delete. Try and take a breath, file for unemployment and forward. It will help 2 Link to post Share on other sites
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