Breadcrumbs- I just need to let it out

[pc31]

Hi everyone on here,

 

Recently my ex gave me some breadcrumbs, but apparently it bothers me more often than I would like, so I figure i should let it out and maybe hear some advice to help me feel better and move forward..

 

I wrote on this before about my break up with my recent ex who I dated for a bit more than a year and dumped me almost 2 years ago. He moved on pretty quickly after our break up, and I believe he is still happily in a relationship with his new girlfriend ever since (they should have been dating for a bit more than a year by now). I've blocked him in all social media and deleted his phone number ever since we broke up.

 

Being blocked on social media, he resolved to emailing. In the past 2 years, he has initiated email with me about 4-5 times, and I have always replied him, but in a very brief manner. I replied to him because his emails always asked some specific questions, which I felt like it wouldn't be decent to ignore them. I initiated zero contact with him. The latest email from him arrived 6 months ago.

 

Anyway, this recent holiday season, I received a TEXT MESSAGE (whatsapp) from him. Like i said, previously it had always been emails, so a text was a huge surprise for me. He didn't text me happy holidays the year before and didn't text happy birthday earlier either. I deleted his phone number, but didn't block it. The only reason why I knew it was from him was because of his photo...

 

It was basically a general Happy Holiday text, but he did add my name at the end of the sentence, so it felt SLIGHTLY more personalized.. but basically it was more like a spam / mass text. "Happy holidays, [insert name]!" I read the message but i didn't reply. I'm sure he saw that I read the message.

 

Basically it was just too weird and slightly shocking you know.. I knew he was on holiday with his girlfriend at that time... Who would text an ex after 2 years of no text, while being on vacation with current girlfriend? :/

 

A part of me thinks that he wants to network with me since all of his previous emails were essentially around requesting something from me one way or another... It makes me very sad that our relationship came from romantic to professional networking >"< It makes me question whether or not the whole time that he was with me, he was just using me for my network and for making him look good because of my accomplishments?

 

The other part of me thinks that he wants to be my friend. But honestly if he wanted to be a genuine friend, he would have tried a bit harder.. 1 email per every 6 months doesn't seem so genuine.

 

I know this guy is the type that keeps in touch with his exes. When we were together, he told me that he still talks to his exes from time to time just for general catch ups. I don't know if my reply emails to him are considered 'catching up' or not, because i didn't disclose anything about my life and only focused on answering whatever question he was asking. In his emails, he never told me about his new girlfriend, and he would always bring up past happy memories (like, do you remember that time we had sushi? i remember you used to use these phrases, I know you would have done like this in that situation, etc.) SIGH this whole thing makes me sick. Does he also talk to his exes like this when we were together?? Some of them might have taken these things as false hopes. Am I just another one of his collection of exes? Was there anything remotely special about our relationship?

 

I am just very upset. Please talk some sense into me. Thanks.

 

PS. I've been single since the break up. I went on some dates, but no time for a serious commitment at this time as I have plan to leave this country soon.

Edited February 25, 2018 by pc31

[pc31]

Can someone say something pls?

[magnesium]

Can someone say something pls?

 

Are you asking to help you understand why he is doing what he is doing?

 

If so, does the reason really matter?

 

What I can see here is that you are torturing yourself over his motives.

 

I can also see that these are obvious breadcrumbs, and if these breadcrumbs ever lead to anything, it will be a one-sided benefit in favor of your ex.

 

Maybe he wants to keep in touch for your networking resources.

 

Maybe he sends texts to make himself feel like a good person because it fits with his self-image of being a good person who keeps in touch with his exes.

 

Maybe...perhaps...he is just checking to evaluate if you are still hung up on him.

 

This "maybe" list can go on and on.

 

I'll just say something that is an absolute truth, and I want you to sit on this for a while, and that is this: You are worth so much more than breadcrumbs.

[Popsicle]

hi pc31. Sorry we've missed your post. As to what he wants, it's nothing good and nothing more than an ego boost for him. Check out this video.

 

 

Sorry that he's stalking you on whatsapp. I've heard your can't block people there. All you can do is ignore him. Don't respond. He will eventually get the hint.

[marky00]

hi pc31. Sorry we've missed your post. As to what he wants, it's nothing good and nothing more than an ego boost for him. Check out this video.

 

 

Sorry that he's stalking you on whatsapp. I've heard your can't block people there. All you can do is ignore him. Don't respond. He will eventually get the hint.

 

You can block numbers on WhatsApp. I've had a few scammers (fake girls) make contact with me on WhatsApp and the second I called their bluff, I was blocked lol. Once your blocked, you can longer see their profile etc.

[magnesium]

The other part of me thinks that he wants to be my friend. But honestly if he wanted to be a genuine friend, he would have tried a bit harder.. 1 email per every 6 months doesn't seem so genuine.

 

It's not genuine.

 

He doesn't want to be your friend.

 

I'd even go as far as saying it's disrespectful. Does he think you are on his clock, ready to be summoned at his whim?

 

Only you can stop this madness pc31.

[pc31]

You can block numbers on WhatsApp. I've had a few scammers (fake girls) make contact with me on WhatsApp and the second I called their bluff, I was blocked lol. Once your blocked, you can longer see their profile etc.

 

Yea i know i can block his number... All the blocking stuff is actually for me to stop stalking him or do anything foolish. I don't necessarily want to block communication from him...

 

Sigh, I still think about him very often. But also understand that he has a girlfriend, so i'm not doing anything about it.

[dangerous]

Yea i know i can block his number... All the blocking stuff is actually for me to stop stalking him or do anything foolish. I don't necessarily want to block communication from him...

 

Sigh, I still think about him very often. But also understand that he has a girlfriend, so i'm not doing anything about it.

 

You are torturing yourself and holding on to the past. Block and move on ... with your life.

[Been]

You know the more I thought about it and I came to the conclusion that he keeps in touch with his ex's for them to possibly be in his rotation if he needs it in the future. Kinda like a stable for possible future endeavors.