I miss my dumper?

[babydoll01]

Hello. It will be long, but I will say the main one.

I had a serious relationship with a girl for one year. Our relationship was wonderful (at least in my opinion), but with every month things started to changed. She was different, and I always try to make her happy. We traveled and worked. I was born in a big city and because of her I moved to a smaller (her native) we lived with her mother while we got to our feet and I started my own business. She found a job for her, but the money were never enough, as I later found out that is because she has three loans to banks. Over time, she began to behave apathetic to me and everything else. Nothing could touch her. Whenever we had the opportunity, we went to dinner, cinema or somewhere for a variety walk, but when we did not have the financial opportunity and enough time we were sitting at home. In our last week she blamed me for many things, as if for my sake she could not see her friends hand that I did not do anything for our relationship that saddened me because it was not true. Every night I sat at her room waiting for her to came back and I did not know anyone in the city, and she was coming out and coming back in the morning, foam and aggressive. She was agressive, and I did not understand why, that was not the person I knew from one year. At the end of the week, I began to think there was another person more important than me and behaved like that to me or because of a guilty conscience (like she was cheating). I was tightening my luggage and I was sitting ready to leave at any moment, because I could not stand this daily. She was crying not to leave but she did not even want to talk to me at the next moment, and I only wanted that. I wanted even if things were going to end, at least to talk, or if she wanted us to try to fix things. At our last night together when she came back again drunk and I at the time I was writing frendly with one of was my childish love. Then my girlfriend got up from the bed and reached me, hit my bc I was writhing with the girl. This was the end. I was angry and upset, I cried and left at night and went to sleep in my shop a couple of days. I found accommodation, but my business was not going, and in half a month (during which I prayed to see and talk and she was still out and having fun) I realized I could not afford to stay in the city . During that time I was still there she was tied to another girl I still did not know if she was cracked or had a serious relationship or just a re-bound. I have many questions, but no answers. I tried to follow the logic, but it also confuses me. Let me also say that I also took a loan from a bank (not big, but it is heavy) so I could help her to cover another loan. Eventually I went home in my city, stopped my business, stayed with credit and a broken heart. Now, after two months, I still suffer and I'm blocked from everywhere like everyting it was my fault. I only regret that i act emotionally and needy. Two months after, I have focused on myself and this to be a better version of myself. I do everything right, but the fact that she did so with me and eventually accused me and act aggressivly towards me. I'm disappointed and I know it's good to go ahead, but why do I still have hope after all?

[Ladybug1982]

Stay grounded on yourself. You should never chase someone who is running away!!