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Don't Know if my ex is Lying


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My ex-girlfriend and I had been dating for a solid month and a half which I know isn't a really long time. Everything was good in the relationship and we hung out once every week because we lived far apart. The day my ex broke-up with me we hung out and went for lunch. Everything seemed fine she kissed me and seemed like she still liked me. We were planning on hanging out on Valentines Day and she seemed like she was looking forward to it.

 

I even gave her my sweater which she had wanted for a while. The same night she messaged me and told me that it had been a good month with me but there's complicated things going on her in life right now so we are better off as friends. As expected I was sad, confused and I felt mixed emotions. She also told me that I am a great guy, that I deserve better and that it's not my fault. My initial assumption was that she was using these as bull**** reasons to cover up the actual reason she did it.

 

She also told me that she would give me the stuff I bought her for Christmas and the sweater I gave her on the same day back. A day passed and she messaged me asking if I was okay. I just responded saying that I was doing good even though I wasn't. She asked me if I wanted to talk about the break up so I agreed and we talked the same night. While we were dating she used to spend a lot of time with her grandmother that she was very close to. In the call she told me that her grandma was sick and that she needed her family right now. I knew that she was actually being serious about this because she broke down crying in the middle of the call.

 

She said she would constantly be in a state where she would be destructive, stressed out and wouldn't have the time and mental capacity of for a relationship. She said she thought about her decision to break up for a long time and she told me she never stopped liking me. She also explained that it would be better for both of us because I would constantly be worrying about her and she didn't that to happen. I was still questioning if this was true and she said "why would I destroy such a good relationship without thinking about it for a long time". She also said that I should hit her up again when her life is stable again which means that she would be interested again.

 

She said I am the most motivated and amazing guy that she has ever met. She even said I love you and I miss you when I asked her in which way she said as a friend and more. She even asked me if she made the wrong decision breaking up with me and then called herself dumb for doing so. Currently I'm going to meet her at the end of this week so she can give me my stuff back. She seems very uninterested when she talks to me now and she didn't even reply to my last text.

 

At this point i'm considering the no contact rule but I am still unsure about what to do after. Should I go back to this girl if I ever get a chance in the future or is she just hiding something from me and should I move on. Thanks so much.

Edited by a LoveShack.org Moderator
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  • 2 weeks later...

go no contact, within two weeks you will find out who the other guy is.

 

 

all is fair in love and war....

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go no contact, within two weeks you will find out who the other guy is.

 

 

all is fair in love and war....

 

100% this. Keeping you as an option whilst she tests out the guy she monkey branched with.

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and tell her to stick the xmas presents and sweater up her coochy then block her and never look back.

 

 

Sick grandma?? lol that's real original!!

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go no contact, within two weeks you will find out who the other guy is.

 

 

all is fair in love and war....

 

It's been two weeks as of now and I haven't found out yet but I will eventually.

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and tell her to stick the xmas presents and sweater up her coochy then block her and never look back.

 

 

Sick grandma?? lol that's real original!!

 

I want my sweater back it was kinda expensive lmao but yeah i'll block her. The sick grandma thing is true but it's a bull**** reason lol

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Agree with the rest of the posters, let her go. She isn't worth your time.

If there is anything that I have learned from my previous break-ups is to ask yourself this: What do your instincts tell you?

Your gut is usually never wrong since it can pick up on signals that you aren't consciously aware of.

 

I even gave her my sweater which she had wanted for a while. The same night she messaged me and told me that it had been a good month with me but there's complicated things going on her in life right now so we are better off as friends. As expected I was sad, confused and I felt mixed emotions. She also told me that I am a great guy, that I deserve better and that it's not my fault. My initial assumption was that she was using these as bull**** reasons to cover up the actual reason she did it.

 

I never understood this. There are people who have much worse problems than "complicated things" in their life and yet still manage to make a relationship work. I agree with you that something is amiss. Why would she go through that same day leading you to believe everything is OK?

Usually you can sense when a break-up is coming, dumpers can sometimes show signs (be distant, talk less, less affectionate, etc).

 

She asked me if I wanted to talk about the break up so I agreed and we talked the same night.

 

This was nice of her, to provide you some degree of closure.

 

While we were dating she used to spend a lot of time with her grandmother that she was very close to. In the call she told me that her grandma was sick and that she needed her family right now.

 

Wouldn't she want as much emotional support as possible while her grandmother is sick? (e.g. YOU)

 

She said she would constantly be in a state where she would be destructive, stressed out and wouldn't have the time and mental capacity of for a relationship.

 

View this as a bullet dodged.

 

She also said that I should hit her up again when her life is stable again which means that she would be interested again.

 

Yeah, don't do that.

She dumped you and you are supposed to come running back to her when her life is "stable" again? I feel that she is the type of person to run away from her problems rather than face them.... hence why she broke up with you.

 

She seems very uninterested when she talks to me now and she didn't even reply to my last text.

 

Too wishy-washy... give her the stuff back and let her go.

 

 

At this point i'm considering the no contact rule but I am still unsure about what to do after. Should I go back to this girl if I ever get a chance in the future or is she just hiding something from me and should I move on. Thanks so much.

 

Absolutely go No-Contact, she seems unstable and is unsure of what she wants. Do not go back to her, I feel that she would just break your heart again and drop everything at the first sign of trouble. She is feeling bad about it now because she is realizing what she gave up.... give her the gift of missing you.

 

Find someone else who is worthy of your time and will want to get through the "complicated things" in life with you rather than toss you aside.

Edited by LonelyJedi
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Agree with the rest of the posters, let her go. She isn't worth your time.

If there is anything that I have learned from my previous break-ups is to ask yourself this: What do your instincts tell you?

Your gut is usually never wrong since it can pick up on signals that you aren't consciously aware of.

 

 

 

I never understood this. There are people who have much worse problems than "complicated things" in their life and yet still manage to make a relationship work. I agree with you that something is amiss. Why would she go through that same day leading you to believe everything is OK?

Usually you can sense when a break-up is coming, dumpers can sometimes show signs (be distant, talk less, less affectionate, etc).

 

 

 

This was nice of her, to provide you some degree of closure.

 

 

 

Wouldn't she want as much emotional support as possible while her grandmother is sick? (e.g. YOU)

 

 

 

View this as a bullet dodged.

 

 

 

Yeah, don't do that.

She dumped you and you are supposed to come running back to her when her life is "stable" again? I feel that she is the type of person to run away from her problems rather than face them.... hence why she broke up with you.

 

 

 

Too wishy-washy... give her the stuff back and let her go.

 

 

 

 

Absolutely go No-Contact, she seems unstable and is unsure of what she wants. Do not go back to her, I feel that she would just break your heart again and drop everything at the first sign of trouble. She is feeling bad about it now because she is realizing what she gave up.... give her the gift of missing you.

 

Find someone else who is worthy of your time and will want to get through the "complicated things" in life with you rather than toss you aside.

 

Well said, thanks for the help I appreciate it

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