LoveShack.org Community Forums

Reload this Page LoveShack.org Community Forums > Breaking Up, Reconciliation & Coping > Breaks and Breaking Up

Don't Know if my ex is Lying


Breaks and Breaking Up It happens to most everyone at some point in life! Share your experiences!

Like Tree13Likes
  • 2 Post By sour_pikle
  • 7 Post By HumanMachine
  • 3 Post By sour_pikle
  • 1 Post By LonelyJedi
Reply
 
LinkBack Thread Tools Display Modes
Old 31st January 2018, 11:11 PM   #1
New Member
 
Join Date: Jan 2018
Posts: 4
Question Don't Know if my ex is Lying

My ex-girlfriend and I had been dating for a solid month and a half which I know isn't a really long time. Everything was good in the relationship and we hung out once every week because we lived far apart. The day my ex broke-up with me we hung out and went for lunch. Everything seemed fine she kissed me and seemed like she still liked me. We were planning on hanging out on Valentines Day and she seemed like she was looking forward to it.

I even gave her my sweater which she had wanted for a while. The same night she messaged me and told me that it had been a good month with me but there's complicated things going on her in life right now so we are better off as friends. As expected I was sad, confused and I felt mixed emotions. She also told me that I am a great guy, that I deserve better and that it's not my fault. My initial assumption was that she was using these as bull**** reasons to cover up the actual reason she did it.

She also told me that she would give me the stuff I bought her for Christmas and the sweater I gave her on the same day back. A day passed and she messaged me asking if I was okay. I just responded saying that I was doing good even though I wasn't. She asked me if I wanted to talk about the break up so I agreed and we talked the same night. While we were dating she used to spend a lot of time with her grandmother that she was very close to. In the call she told me that her grandma was sick and that she needed her family right now. I knew that she was actually being serious about this because she broke down crying in the middle of the call.

She said she would constantly be in a state where she would be destructive, stressed out and wouldn't have the time and mental capacity of for a relationship. She said she thought about her decision to break up for a long time and she told me she never stopped liking me. She also explained that it would be better for both of us because I would constantly be worrying about her and she didn't that to happen. I was still questioning if this was true and she said "why would I destroy such a good relationship without thinking about it for a long time". She also said that I should hit her up again when her life is stable again which means that she would be interested again.

She said I am the most motivated and amazing guy that she has ever met. She even said I love you and I miss you when I asked her in which way she said as a friend and more. She even asked me if she made the wrong decision breaking up with me and then called herself dumb for doing so. Currently I'm going to meet her at the end of this week so she can give me my stuff back. She seems very uninterested when she talks to me now and she didn't even reply to my last text.

At this point i'm considering the no contact rule but I am still unsure about what to do after. Should I go back to this girl if I ever get a chance in the future or is she just hiding something from me and should I move on. Thanks so much.

Last edited by LoveShack.org Moderator; 1st February 2018 at 8:04 AM.. Reason: paragraphs, please use them
North00 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 9th February 2018, 4:30 PM   #2
Established Member
 
Join Date: Oct 2011
Location: Canada
Posts: 89
go no contact, within two weeks you will find out who the other guy is.


all is fair in love and war....
sour_pikle is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 9th February 2018, 4:35 PM   #3
Established Member
 
Join Date: Jul 2016
Location: Newcastle
Posts: 763
Quote:
Originally Posted by sour_pikle View Post
go no contact, within two weeks you will find out who the other guy is.


all is fair in love and war....
100% this. Keeping you as an option whilst she tests out the guy she monkey branched with.
HumanMachine is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 9th February 2018, 4:39 PM   #4
Established Member
 
Join Date: Oct 2011
Location: Canada
Posts: 89
and tell her to stick the xmas presents and sweater up her coochy then block her and never look back.


Sick grandma?? lol that's real original!!
sour_pikle is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 10th February 2018, 12:11 AM   #5
New Member
 
Join Date: Jan 2018
Posts: 4
Quote:
Originally Posted by sour_pikle View Post
go no contact, within two weeks you will find out who the other guy is.


all is fair in love and war....
It's been two weeks as of now and I haven't found out yet but I will eventually.
North00 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 10th February 2018, 12:12 AM   #6
New Member
 
Join Date: Jan 2018
Posts: 4
Quote:
Originally Posted by sour_pikle View Post
and tell her to stick the xmas presents and sweater up her coochy then block her and never look back.


Sick grandma?? lol that's real original!!
I want my sweater back it was kinda expensive lmao but yeah i'll block her. The sick grandma thing is true but it's a bull**** reason lol
North00 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 12th February 2018, 8:33 AM   #7
Member
 
LonelyJedi's Avatar
 
Join Date: May 2017
Location: Michigan
Posts: 35
Agree with the rest of the posters, let her go. She isn't worth your time.
If there is anything that I have learned from my previous break-ups is to ask yourself this: What do your instincts tell you?
Your gut is usually never wrong since it can pick up on signals that you aren't consciously aware of.

Quote:
Originally Posted by North00 View Post
I even gave her my sweater which she had wanted for a while. The same night she messaged me and told me that it had been a good month with me but there's complicated things going on her in life right now so we are better off as friends. As expected I was sad, confused and I felt mixed emotions. She also told me that I am a great guy, that I deserve better and that it's not my fault. My initial assumption was that she was using these as bull**** reasons to cover up the actual reason she did it.
I never understood this. There are people who have much worse problems than "complicated things" in their life and yet still manage to make a relationship work. I agree with you that something is amiss. Why would she go through that same day leading you to believe everything is OK?
Usually you can sense when a break-up is coming, dumpers can sometimes show signs (be distant, talk less, less affectionate, etc).

Quote:
Originally Posted by North00 View Post
She asked me if I wanted to talk about the break up so I agreed and we talked the same night.
This was nice of her, to provide you some degree of closure.

Quote:
Originally Posted by North00 View Post
While we were dating she used to spend a lot of time with her grandmother that she was very close to. In the call she told me that her grandma was sick and that she needed her family right now.
Wouldn't she want as much emotional support as possible while her grandmother is sick? (e.g. YOU)

Quote:
Originally Posted by North00 View Post
She said she would constantly be in a state where she would be destructive, stressed out and wouldn't have the time and mental capacity of for a relationship.
View this as a bullet dodged.

Quote:
Originally Posted by North00 View Post
She also said that I should hit her up again when her life is stable again which means that she would be interested again.
Yeah, don't do that.
She dumped you and you are supposed to come running back to her when her life is "stable" again? I feel that she is the type of person to run away from her problems rather than face them.... hence why she broke up with you.

Quote:
Originally Posted by North00 View Post
She seems very uninterested when she talks to me now and she didn't even reply to my last text.
Too wishy-washy... give her the stuff back and let her go.


Quote:
Originally Posted by North00 View Post
At this point i'm considering the no contact rule but I am still unsure about what to do after. Should I go back to this girl if I ever get a chance in the future or is she just hiding something from me and should I move on. Thanks so much.
Absolutely go No-Contact, she seems unstable and is unsure of what she wants. Do not go back to her, I feel that she would just break your heart again and drop everything at the first sign of trouble. She is feeling bad about it now because she is realizing what she gave up.... give her the gift of missing you.

Find someone else who is worthy of your time and will want to get through the "complicated things" in life with you rather than toss you aside.
North00 likes this.

Last edited by LonelyJedi; 12th February 2018 at 8:35 AM..
LonelyJedi is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 14th February 2018, 9:59 PM   #8
New Member
 
Join Date: Jan 2018
Posts: 4
Quote:
Originally Posted by LonelyJedi View Post
Agree with the rest of the posters, let her go. She isn't worth your time.
If there is anything that I have learned from my previous break-ups is to ask yourself this: What do your instincts tell you?
Your gut is usually never wrong since it can pick up on signals that you aren't consciously aware of.



I never understood this. There are people who have much worse problems than "complicated things" in their life and yet still manage to make a relationship work. I agree with you that something is amiss. Why would she go through that same day leading you to believe everything is OK?
Usually you can sense when a break-up is coming, dumpers can sometimes show signs (be distant, talk less, less affectionate, etc).



This was nice of her, to provide you some degree of closure.



Wouldn't she want as much emotional support as possible while her grandmother is sick? (e.g. YOU)



View this as a bullet dodged.



Yeah, don't do that.
She dumped you and you are supposed to come running back to her when her life is "stable" again? I feel that she is the type of person to run away from her problems rather than face them.... hence why she broke up with you.



Too wishy-washy... give her the stuff back and let her go.




Absolutely go No-Contact, she seems unstable and is unsure of what she wants. Do not go back to her, I feel that she would just break your heart again and drop everything at the first sign of trouble. She is feeling bad about it now because she is realizing what she gave up.... give her the gift of missing you.

Find someone else who is worthy of your time and will want to get through the "complicated things" in life with you rather than toss you aside.
Well said, thanks for the help I appreciate it
North00 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 15th February 2018, 3:26 PM   #9
Established Member
 
Join Date: Oct 2011
Location: Canada
Posts: 89
let us know when you confirm the other guy is the actual reason so we know she really was a dumb b$(ch lol
sour_pikle is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 17th February 2018, 1:57 AM   #10
Established Member
 
Join Date: Jan 2016
Posts: 822
Bro she monkey branched you. She's full of it. No contact is the only way to go.
Been is offline   Reply With Quote
Reply

Bookmarks

Thread Tools
Display Modes

 

Similar Threads
Thread Thread Starter Forum Replies Last Post
Ex moved on to some guy??? Is she lying? are they lying? MikeLeno Breaks and Breaking Up 16 10th November 2017 10:10 AM
Lying girlfriend still lying and sugar coating information tfunkk78 Breaks and Breaking Up 1 9th February 2014 7:07 PM
Lying mouse52 Dating 5 6th December 2007 12:20 PM
Deceit and lying..Can you tell when someone is lying? John Archive 8 26th March 2001 1:26 AM

 

All times are GMT -4. The time now is 9:16 AM.

Please note: The suggestions and advice offered on this web site are opinions only and are not to be used in the place of professional psychological counseling or medical advice. If you or someone close to you is currently in crisis or in an emergency situation, contact your local law enforcement agency or emergency number.


Copyright © 1997-2013 LoveShack.org. All Rights Reserved.