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8 months & i didnt get over him. me!


Breaks and Breaking Up It happens to most everyone at some point in life! Share your experiences!

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Old 28th July 2017, 3:07 AM   #46
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Originally Posted by brokenheart415 View Post
Just keep venting. Writing really helps more than you think, public or not. You may not know this, but another man is finding and looking for someone like you. The sooner you move on, the sooner the right person will find you. You need to stop trusting your emotions, and think with your brain. If he says something like that, then there's something wrong with him, not you. My best coping mechanism is filling my schedule with things to do: go out every weekend with friends and try something new. It'll keep your mind off things. Just don't drink too much or at all. Also, find a new hobby.
Thank you Brokenheart415 for your advice, actually we broke up almost 3 months ago now, what i did as a part of my moving on is i prepared a bucket list that i should finish them in 1 year to keep me busy such as go on an island for a vacation or do paragliding or get lost in a very good book or ask someone out. I have 75 things to do i finished 7 of them till now. It is really helpful, I am gaining my confidence too. Step by step i will be all over my ex forever !!! he lost me
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Old 18th October 2017, 2:27 AM   #47
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Can you get out of my head already ? I was suppressing you for months, I didnt want to think about you, I thought if i think about you i would be wasting my time. Now that you are on my mind without my consent, i want you out of it, i hate it !!! I hate to think about the good memories of us because how you ended it was the worst memory in my brain !! I hate how you forced me to let you come inside my life, how you made me fall in love with you and you heartlessly left, i hate this !!! I would never get engaged to someone if i am not sure about him, why did you ? what changed your mind ? your silly reasons ? Or there are other reasons that i am not aware of ? I hate how numb you are. I am here, in my country, remembering all the placed we went to, all the jokes we said, all the memories we made & probably you are somewhere where nothing reminds you of me, dating, moving on & i am the one suffering.

Could you please at least remove our pic from your whatsapp ? why keeping it ? to give me false hopes and make me suffer more? Can you please burn your sim card that you will never ever use because u will never come back here ? why u are keeping it in your phone ? Why someone would dump someone but dont erase everything related to him ?

I hate this feeling !!!
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Old 24th October 2017, 2:32 AM   #48
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And i remember the day we first met, this day was magical, i was free, surfing around a complete strange country & then i met you, i wish i said yes when u asked me to go out with u at night, I had to say no because I was tired. then 2 weeks later you came to my home country & i started feeling for you. As times passed by i started loving you, by the time you broke up with me, i was totally & utterly in love with you, i was waking up every morning planning for our future together. I LOVED my engagement ring that you bought for me even though you accused me otherwise, i loved our lifestyle, i loved our plans, i loved our dreams. But you crashed them all, you destroyed my dreams with you, the trips we wanted to do, the camping, the cottage we wanted to build, the kids.

How shall i forgive you & forgive myself ? Are you happy now ? I am trying to, but i cant feel like i want to be with anyone else other than you.

I loved you, i loved you & I still love you !
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Old 26th October 2017, 3:06 AM   #49
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Today i will start my sessions with my psychologist because i am tired of my eyes tearing up while at work, I am tired to feel this huge disappointment from him all the time, I am tired of my sudden downs & i just want to move on. 5 months exactly since we broke up, the pain is different now. I just want to let go of those negative thoughts about how people can leave so easily, i want to let go of the hurt and damage he caused me. I really cant do this to someone, how people can do this is what i want to understand. And if i had to break someone's heart I will let them have their closure, i will explain to them why exactly i am doing this for hours and days if they need to. I will say the truth i will not say some lies if if its gonna hurt them. Why some people dont do this ? god it is so cruel !!!
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Old 26th October 2017, 1:26 PM   #50
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I'm sorry for you to be in pain and sad 5 months after he broke up and left. I read your thread and it seems like you made quite some progress for a while. I decided to do the same thing, to have my thread as a diary and venting place. and like you I keep I list, not a bucket list, but I'm doing a daily task schedule. It helps me try to not sit and sob the whole day. It contains just small tasks such as eating dinner, go to work, take a shower. But without the list I start to neglect everything. I'm only on 9 days since he dumped me by just saying he didn't love me anymore and walk out on me.

I'm curious if you made any progress on the bucket list of yours? Have you finished more than the 7 things you wrote earlier?

I hope the thearapy will help!
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Old 27th October 2017, 2:04 AM   #51
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I'm sorry for you to be in pain and sad 5 months after he broke up and left. I read your thread and it seems like you made quite some progress for a while. I decided to do the same thing, to have my thread as a diary and venting place. and like you I keep I list, not a bucket list, but I'm doing a daily task schedule. It helps me try to not sit and sob the whole day. It contains just small tasks such as eating dinner, go to work, take a shower. But without the list I start to neglect everything. I'm only on 9 days since he dumped me by just saying he didn't love me anymore and walk out on me.

I'm curious if you made any progress on the bucket list of yours? Have you finished more than the 7 things you wrote earlier?

I hope the thearapy will help!
hEY Darkchan, I read your thread And I am sooo sorry for the pain u are going through. I am relating what you are going through to the first month of my break up, i couldnt get out of bed, barely going to work & surviving.

My bucket list contains 70 things that i have to do & i have finished 1/3 of them approximately:
21. Do camping
22. Fall in love
23. Forgive Ex
24. Forget Ex
25. Trust in guys again
26. Choose the right one
27. Brush teeth more often
28. Get closer to family
29. Get a good tan
30. Get a manicure & a pedicure
31. Get lost by a great book
32. Go jogging sometimes
33. Go dancing
34. Get a full day spa
35. Go on a romantic holiday
36. Go on holiday, come back refreshed and ready to move on: Turkey
37. Watch movies more often

That is a part of my bucket list that i did most of them except of course forgetting ex and trust in guys again :P

I went to my psychotherapist yesterday, he diagnosed my ex-fiancÚ to have Obsessive compulsive personality OCP, where this type of people lacks empathy & they are so well organized that if something happens not the way they want they panic & those people have high level of anxiety. I always knew my ex-fiancÚ has something but it is so true that he lacks a lottt of empathy even when we were together he was just so tough & unemotional. I dont know if you can relate to this maybe ?

My therapist in the next session will help me get the closure that i never had, told me to never reach out to him to get your closure because people with OCP just move on & they dont care whether you are suffering or no.

I would advice you to give yourself time to grief, it is okay if you cry your eyes out everyday, give yourself whatever time it takes, keep people that will support you around you, & those daily lists work well at the beginning and then start planning a bucket list after 2 months or so. My therapist said you dodged a bullet because ending up and marrying such people will leave you miserable your whole life !! I think you dodged a bullet too !!
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Old 27th October 2017, 2:15 PM   #52
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I like your bucket lists, some of the items are also not too hard to accomplish, like some peoples buckets lists are juming out a plane or dive with sharks and quite extreme things sometimes. I like that you gave yourself tasks like Do camping, Get lost in a great book etc. Also good job in finnishing 1/3 of them!

Perhaps we both did dodge a bullet, it's hard to see it that way when you are so mad in love but it might be true. My ex was very caring and loving, had all of that the first 2 years, then something happened and he became distant and I felt abonded and sad the last weeks of the relationship, like you I felt he lacked emotions and empathy.

I hope you will get some closure from your therapist next session, it also seems like the therapist could give you some answers regarding why he behaved like he did, having OCP.
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Old 30th October 2017, 4:26 AM   #53
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Originally Posted by Darkchan View Post
I like your bucket lists, some of the items are also not too hard to accomplish, like some peoples buckets lists are juming out a plane or dive with sharks and quite extreme things sometimes. I like that you gave yourself tasks like Do camping, Get lost in a great book etc. Also good job in finnishing 1/3 of them!

Perhaps we both did dodge a bullet, it's hard to see it that way when you are so mad in love but it might be true. My ex was very caring and loving, had all of that the first 2 years, then something happened and he became distant and I felt abonded and sad the last weeks of the relationship, like you I felt he lacked emotions and empathy.

I hope you will get some closure from your therapist next session, it also seems like the therapist could give you some answers regarding why he behaved like he did, having OCP.
I did some tough stuff from my bucket list as well such as paragliding from a very far point haha. Now i am learning how to cook & i am finishing my master degrees.

How have you been ? Are you getting better ? Did he reach out ?
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Old 30th October 2017, 5:59 AM   #54
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Originally Posted by vickyp View Post
My question again. Why do people leave without saying anything? Why after something minor like a fight they leave? Why do they do this? Hang in there. Your situation is similar to mine. So I know exactly ho you feel.
I do this. I run away. I can't handle of lot of aggression or anger because of past violent relationships so now when it starts I run.

It's bad for relationships I know.
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Old 30th October 2017, 2:13 PM   #55
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Originally Posted by toomanyquestions123 View Post
I did some tough stuff from my bucket list as well such as paragliding from a very far point haha. Now i am learning how to cook & i am finishing my master degrees.

How have you been ? Are you getting better ? Did he reach out ?
I'm glad you are doing better and also finishing your studies!

I'm feeling quite awful, I thought this NC would make it easier to move on but I have too many unanswered questions about the break up and why he behaved as he did. I feel my anxiety grows stronger everyday that pass and I really really just want him to contact me. He haven't reached out at all, nothing. I don't expect him to etither, he is too proud. I'm in denial over the whole thing, but I moved out from the apartment the day after he broke it and I guess I just have to accept that he don't want me anymore. But I can't.
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Old 31st October 2017, 2:44 AM   #56
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I'm glad you are doing better and also finishing your studies!

I'm feeling quite awful, I thought this NC would make it easier to move on but I have too many unanswered questions about the break up and why he behaved as he did. I feel my anxiety grows stronger everyday that pass and I really really just want him to contact me. He haven't reached out at all, nothing. I don't expect him to etither, he is too proud. I'm in denial over the whole thing, but I moved out from the apartment the day after he broke it and I guess I just have to accept that he don't want me anymore. But I can't.
Thats the denial phase. And what you want is a closure, to go somewhere and talk about everything & to answer all your questions. Thats what i wanted from my ex-fiancÚ. I begged him for a closure so i can move on because i know how hard it is to move on without one. I never leave someone without answers. I never did this. If you want to break up please be honest with me and tell me why you want to do this. That is why my next session with the therapist he will give me my closure that i didnt have.

It gets slowly better i promise. My advice is to never reach out and keep NC. Because breaking NC will bring you only pain.
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Old 31st October 2017, 7:41 AM   #57
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Cant wait till i wake up one day & feel nothing. Just nothing. I just cant wait for this to happen.
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Old 29th November 2017, 2:24 AM   #58
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Talking

I noticed today morning that my ex-fiancÚ is not the first person i think about when i wake up !!! not even the second !! Such an improvement to myself !! )
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Old 30th November 2017, 3:08 AM   #59
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On a less level: I do still miss you. I do still remember you. I do still love you. It is December tomorrow, December last year was the highlight of our relationship, we travelled together, we spent christmas eve with my family and u cooked for us, i totally fell in love with you this month last year, but you left 5 months later. I dont know how are you doing, if you totally moved on. If you met someone new. It is such a weird feeling when i think about you, it is like thinking about a ghost. Your picture is fading yet you are still here somehow. I cant wait to finally let go all of you. Forgive you, forget you and fall in love again, with the right person this time.
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Old 12th December 2017, 9:11 PM   #60
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It's been awhile since you posted! Just curious on how you coping now? It seems like yo doing better reading your previous posts
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