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8 months & i didnt get over him. me!


Breaks and Breaking Up It happens to most everyone at some point in life! Share your experiences!

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Old 17th July 2017, 10:01 AM   #31
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dumpers suck

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Originally Posted by stillafool View Post
It isn't. He was just ready to go.
and im letting him go. If my dumper thinks the grass is greener on the other side, then go discover it.
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Old 17th July 2017, 11:36 AM   #32
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There was a good post earlier. Just because someone didn't want to be in a relationship with someone doesn't mean they have a personality disorder - it just means the dynamics of the relationship had issues. It's easy to blame other people, but maybe just let it go. And look for better dynamics in the future. And look within yourself. People don't need a reason to be unhappy in a relationship.
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Old 17th July 2017, 2:16 PM   #33
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Quote:
Originally Posted by fieldoflavender View Post
There was a good post earlier. Just because someone didn't want to be in a relationship with someone doesn't mean they have a personality disorder - it just means the dynamics of the relationship had issues. It's easy to blame other people, but maybe just let it go. And look for better dynamics in the future. And look within yourself. People don't need a reason to be unhappy in a relationship.
I disagree. My dumper suffers from depression anxiety and ptsp from many years ago. So really he never dealt with the issue at hand. Plus, his current living situation is toxic. So I just think my dumper couldn't handle someone being there for them, loving them how I did and not ask for anything in return. Plus, he's been on medical leave for about a year and a half so lost of income I'm sure is affecting him too
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Old 18th July 2017, 2:27 AM   #34
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Originally Posted by vickyp View Post
I disagree. My dumper suffers from depression anxiety and ptsp from many years ago. So really he never dealt with the issue at hand. Plus, his current living situation is toxic. So I just think my dumper couldn't handle someone being there for them, loving them how I did and not ask for anything in return. Plus, he's been on medical leave for about a year and a half so lost of income I'm sure is affecting him too
That is true, people that leave without turning back are either really done with the relationship or they have their mental issues. Both ways, we dont deserve any of those. We deserve a very stable person who can love us always the same.
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Old 18th July 2017, 5:45 AM   #35
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That is true, people that leave without turning back are either really done with the relationship or they have their mental issues. Both ways, we dont deserve any of those. We deserve a very stable person who can love us always the same.
Good morning
I think my dumper just had issues which I ignored I do admit. We had a fight over something I read on the news. He had to prove me wrong as usual, then texted me saying I'm done lol Bc were in our 30s and that's how people break up over text lol. That's when right after I started getting called a loser a cu## a whor# etc etc I did the pleading and begging and got "were done leave me alone" what hurts most is we had a reglious day for my dad's pasting and he knew about it and still couldn't put his bs on the side and be there for me. This is why I say dumpers to suck to say the least
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Old 18th July 2017, 5:48 AM   #36
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Good morning
I think my dumper just had issues which I ignored I do admit. We had a fight over something I read on the news. He had to prove me wrong as usual, then texted me saying I'm done lol Bc were in our 30s and that's how people break up over text lol. That's when right after I started getting called a loser a cu## a whor# etc etc I did the pleading and begging and got "were done leave me alone" what hurts most is we had a reglious day for my dad's pasting and he knew about it and still couldn't put his bs on the side and be there for me. This is why I say dumpers to suck to say the least
I am sorry for this How long have u been NC with him?
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Old 18th July 2017, 6:03 AM   #37
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It was on and off since April. Then a poster here really opened my eyes. Now it's been 7 weeks
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Old 18th July 2017, 10:05 AM   #38
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Originally Posted by toomanyquestions123 View Post
I have been thru several break-ups before my ex-fiance & i always moved on immediately with no baggage taken from the relationship.But with this break-up, i think & for the first time i am having trust issues & a hard time digesting what happened. I am afraid i will carry this baggage with me into my next relationship. It has been 2 months since he left my country, we were together for 1 year & a half, it is not a very long time but a lot happened during this period. We were supposed to get married in this upcoming December.
Similar time frame to my last relationship...short yet intense. We had no grand plans to get married although she gave me lots of lip service that suggested I could be her one. Nope. This breakup hit me hard too, the intensity and sacrifice was very real. Have a previous post about it.."45 and going through a breakup." 3 months later and it's feeling way better...so perhaps a little more time for you and you can start seeing thing clearly...but he doesn't sound like a keeper anyway. My two cents.
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Old 19th July 2017, 2:36 AM   #39
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Similar time frame to my last relationship...short yet intense. We had no grand plans to get married although she gave me lots of lip service that suggested I could be her one. Nope. This breakup hit me hard too, the intensity and sacrifice was very real. Have a previous post about it.."45 and going through a breakup." 3 months later and it's feeling way better...so perhaps a little more time for you and you can start seeing thing clearly...but he doesn't sound like a keeper anyway. My two cents.
Yes time heals all, and it gets better by time. Forgetting is a blessing. The hurt will go eventually. 45 is not that old, you re still young & you will find the one eventually that you will spend the rest of your life with.
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Old 19th July 2017, 3:32 AM   #40
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BTW i had a nightmare today; i went to my ex-fiance's apartment & found out he is in a relationship. I started yelling & saying she is ugly in front of her & crying & convincing him to come back & he was like stop it i love her, please get out of my apartment. WTH
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Old 19th July 2017, 8:27 AM   #41
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I was looking on whatsapp for an old topic & I stumbled upon with some of my ex-fiance's chats on my family group where he was kicked out when he left. I forgot to clear those convos & i read something immediately where he sent a pic on our group & said thats where he met me & he was joking. That was like 3 weeks before break up. I found my tears falling when i read this at work. Obviously i am still not close to getting over him. I immediately cleared all those chats.
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Old 20th July 2017, 7:02 AM   #42
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I am feeling a little bit down today & decided to write a letter to him here because i will never send it ( i hope he will never come to my thread, I WILL BE SCREWED ).If i ever wanted to talk to him i would tell him this:

Why you left this way ? Why you turned out to be someone who showed me otherwise ? Why you moved here & got engaged to me if we have cultural differences ? why our cultural differences are a problem ? Remember when you told me you will cross miles to be with me, I was hesitated at first. Back then, i have had my enough number of failed relationships & I wanted to settle with the one. I was not sure u were the one. I was scared, i didnt want to be hurt, but you were so persistent to get me. You wanted a relationship with me knowing all the challenges that we will face. Then you broke up with me because of the cultural differences ? How rational is that ? Or is it just an excuse to get rid of me ? So why you were not honest with me ? I, till now, still think of why you did that ? I trusted you. I never expected this behavior from your side. Do you want to know how your actions affected me ?
You burnt my soul ! You never communicated with me ! You never told me your concerns ! You know why ? because what you said is not true, What you accused me of is out of your fabrication ! You just had cold feet & ran away from me !! You definitely lied at me at certain points ! Maybe there was another girl from your past, i discovered that i didnt know everything about you & perhaps you re lying at me ! Who leaves this way ? Do you remember the last night we spent together before brutally leaving ? it was 2 nights before ! Remember what i told you back then ? I said that was the best night we spent together. You were so passionate, so in love. Were you thinking of leaving me for a long period of time ? I just keep thinking that i was really loyal & nice to you. I never ever treated you bad & i had to put up with your very hard to deal personality. I never complained, but you did. I hate you, i should stop hating you so i can move on but i do. I was a happy person, always was. I am not now, i am straggling to be. I want to stop crying, thats all. Please get out of my mind like you got out of my life.
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Old 25th July 2017, 7:53 AM   #43
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3 months since he left, 2 months & a half since we broke up, 1 month & 3 weeks since NC emotional update:

I could feel better. Not in my best days. Not happy, not sad. I AM JUST NUMB. i feel nothing for anyone. Life doesn't desire me anymore. I dont believe in love anymore. I have abandonment issues. I have ups & downs. I wish i was happier. I should be happier. Maybe it is too early to be happy again, I am not sure. I want to be happy all the time life before. Nothing stimulates me. Family, work, friends. I just dont care. I am just careless as much as i am broken. I am hurt. I dont hate life but i dont like it anymore. I dont have suicidal thoughts but i dont care if i died. Am i exaggerating ?
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Old 28th July 2017, 2:46 AM   #44
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Going out tonight on a date with the guy I am occasionally going out with since i broke up. I am yet not sure about this guy & i dont want to develop feelings for him. Actually a second guy just hit on me as well, & i this one is such a hottie hehe. Well since I am single I am planning to date everyone & choose carefully. I AM NOT SETTLING FOR LESS, I AM NOT GONNA CHOOSE AN INSECURE COWARDICE GUY LIKE MY EX-FIANCE. I WANT SOMEONE TO TRUST. ALWAYS NO MATTER HOW THINGS GET COMPLICATED !
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Old 28th July 2017, 3:02 AM   #45
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It is been more than 1 month now after my break-up with my Ex-Fiance. The first 2 weeks were really really painful. I don't think i ever stopped crying. After those 2 next weeks, i started feeling better but still numb & bitter. We broke up because we had a fight & he accused me that i threw tantrums at him while i did not. He hurt me big time. am from the middleast & my ex-fiance is from the US, we met in UK, & immediately fell in love, he moved to my country to be with me.We got engaged after 6 months & we were planning to live in Europe. Everything was going so smooth until one day we had a big fight on very silly reasons & he left back to his country & broke up with me saying we dont culturally click, that nothing is wrong with me but we just are culturally different. I was shocked because our relationship was so special & we never talked about us being culturally different and it was never a deal breaker for us. We simply used to merge both our cultures so we can create the best of both. I was devastated when he said it is impossible to fix it and even though he loves me so much but he is thinking about the future positive outcome. After almost 1 month now from the breakup, i started the moving on process, started yoga, jogging, going out with friends, going on dates, whitened my teeth, new hair style, but at the end of the day I always ask myself why he didnt work on our relationship, why can someone that claimed to love me so much, leave so easily. A little background about him: he is divorced, his parents are divorced. He only said its culture but i dont think this is the reason.

Well my e-fiance & i had to communicate about how i have to ship his stuff & how i should sell the rings & transfer him back the money ( my idea ) but he accused me that i am forcing a conversation by talking about stuff shipment so I had to cut off the communication so i can start moving on & he hurt me more by telling me this since even though he broke my heart i was still willing to ship all his clothes & ring money but he accused me that i am forcing a conversation. So 2 week ago i had to cut off communication like i said before & i told him when i move on in the next upcoming year i will talk to him about the shipment logistics since i wont keep his stuff as hostage. He never replied back then & i really felt better since i really needed to stop talking to him if i really wanted to move on. I really worked on myself those past weeks & had really good days where i started feeling relieved. On the other hand, I am still going through those hard days where I cant stop thinking about us , the reason why he left me this way, about the pain i went through and still slightly going through. I always feel like i was convicted in a trial even though i am innocent & i had to deal with this. I cant get over the idea of how unfair this breakup was.

So i will be using this forum to let out all my feeling until i truly move on. And folks around here can help as well lol
Just keep venting. Writing really helps more than you think, public or not. You may not know this, but another man is finding and looking for someone like you. The sooner you move on, the sooner the right person will find you. You need to stop trusting your emotions, and think with your brain. If he says something like that, then there's something wrong with him, not you. My best coping mechanism is filling my schedule with things to do: go out every weekend with friends and try something new. It'll keep your mind off things. Just don't drink too much or at all. Also, find a new hobby.
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