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Break up and vehicle


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Me and me fiance broke up and one of the main issues of not getting back together is over a car. We have a child together and in February of last year I traded my van in to buy us as a family a new car for her and the kids to drive while I drove her car back and forth to work. She helped with getting finance and I put the money down and traded my car in on the purchase. I have made all the payments on the vehicle and insurance. Well when we split I took the new car and left her with her car. But she said that I hurt her by taking the new vehicle when we split. She said even before that if we split she can't make the payment. Yes I left with new vehicle and her and her family is upset and consider me a pos for taking it. What am I suppose to do?? I have even offered for her to take the new car and I would still pay for it as a former of child support but she will not take it because for some reason she thinks I will screw her over and stop making the payments. I love her more than any woman I have ever loved and she is to stubborn to see that even though we are broke up that I am not trying to hurt her.

Her mother and sister are texting me saying I'm a pos because I don't pay child support plus they say I am making her and the kids suffer and that I'm out enjoying this new car and have all the money. Here is a breakdown of what I give her so she doesn't have to turn this income into family services and take away her medical and support she recieves.

I pay 55.00 for Internet

12.00 for Netflix

280.00 for house and car insurance

Average 130.00 for gas bill

That's almost 480.00 a month that she doesn't have to claim as income.

Now I pay child support to my ex wife for one child which is 277.00 a month.

Am I doing my part as a father trying to support her or am I a pos?

I've asked her to stand up to her mom but she tells me....you know how she is... should I expect her to stans up for me or am I really just a pos sperm donor as they call me...please help

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I do think they're ganging up on you a bit. But you need to do things legally, let the state or whoever does it where you are set up the child support payments and get that done permanently and legally, along with custody orders.

 

The rest, since you weren't married, is who brought what with them or in whose name things are, legally. If the old car is in her name, that's the car she gets. If the new one is, it's up to her to make payments. Sounds like you own that one and will have to make the payments.

 

If you're in the US, call a "family court clerk" in your town and ask them what to do to get child support settled upon in court. If it's so, tell them you have no attorney. Ask them what should you do. I hope you get some good advice that way.

Edited by preraph
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I would still pay for it as a former of child support

Car payments are not child support. You can't feed and clothe kids with car payments.

 

I pay 55.00 for Internet

12.00 for Netflix

280.00 for house and car insurance

Average 130.00 for gas bill

That's almost 480.00 a month that she doesn't have to claim as income.

Now I pay child support to my ex wife for one child which is 277.00 a month.

Am I doing my part as a father trying to support her or am I a pos?

You are not a pos but you are not giving her the CASH MONEY that the law dictates you should be giving her. She can't buy food and clothes for the kid with internet or insurance. You should ask the authorities what level of CASH MONEY you need to give the mother of your child. It may be that because you have a second kid, the payments to your first one are reduced. Once you know the level you should be contributing you can stop paying the internet, gas, insurance and start paying her REAL CASH MONEY instead.

 

should I expect her to stans up for me or am I really just a pos sperm donor as they call me...please help

You should ignore/block her mother and/or other family members that are interfering in your business. This is between you and her ONLY. But, they have a point at the moment, you are not contributing the right amount of CASH MONEY that you should be. Once you sort this out, they will have no moral high ground left to stand on.

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Bloody hell I am never having kids

 

Good luck OP and you aren’t a pos, they’re just trying to bleed you of everything you’re worth (surprise surprise)

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Car payments are not child support. You can't feed and clothe kids with car payments.

 

 

You are not a pos but you are not giving her the CASH MONEY that the law dictates you should be giving her. She can't buy food and clothes for the kid with internet or insurance. You should ask the authorities what level of CASH MONEY you need to give the mother of your child. It may be that because you have a second kid, the payments to your first one are reduced. Once you know the level you should be contributing you can stop paying the internet, gas, insurance and start paying her REAL CASH MONEY instead.

 

 

You should ignore/block her mother and/or other family members that are interfering in your business. This is between you and her ONLY. But, they have a point at the moment, you are not contributing the right amount of CASH MONEY that you should be. Once you sort this out, they will have no moral high ground left to stand on.

 

Understand all that isn't cash money...that is how she would rather have me pay. If I make it go through child support she will have to claim that as income towards her assistance from the state.

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that is how she would rather have me pay.

Why are you letting her choose? You should follow normal local procedures and regulations. If she wants to use the money you give her on insurance and internet then that's her call. But you should give her the money and let her choose what to do with it.

 

If I make it go through child support she will have to claim that as income towards her assistance from the state.

Her state claims and tax affairs are not your concern. In fact you're over-burdening the tax payer here and may be complicit in benefit fraud.

 

What if she files for child support arrears in the future? She will say you haven't given her any MONEY for the last 3 years or whatever, and will produce statements to prove it. You will say oh but I paid for internet and gas to which the judge will say so what, internet and gas bills don't feed and clothe a child, how much CASH MONEY have you given her? And then you'll be stuck with a big arrears bill.

 

With these matters it's best to do everything above board and by the book. If you want to give her extra to help with her internet and insurance and car or whatever, then go ahead. But make it extra, not instead of, the state-calculated cash amount.

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